Scrolling with caution: the real risks young women face in the age of likes

IOL News

17-07-2025

Social media is woven into the very fabric of our lives. In 2023, nearly 5 billion people worldwide were online, with teens among the most avid users according to Statista,
Image: Anna Nekrashevich/pexels
We should talk about it more: the subtle way scrolling through Instagram, TikTok, or Facebook can alter what young women believe they need to do, and even risk, to feel loved and seen.
Ask yourself: When was the last time you scrolled through Instagram or TikTok and felt truly content with your own life?
For many young women today, the answer is 'never'. Behind every filtered selfie and 'living my best life' hashtag lies a growing crisis, one that's quietly shaping and sometimes shattering the lives of a whole generation.
It starts innocently. Pretty coffee shots. Luxury handbags. A perfect holiday. And before you know it, a 16-year-old feels she must keep up, even if it means living a life she can't afford or one that puts her in danger.
Social media is woven into the very fabric of our lives. In 2023, nearly 5 billion people worldwide were online, with teens among the most avid users according to Statista.
It's a space filled with promise and peril.
"Social media is here to stay," says Dr Mary Alvord, a clinical psychologist and panellist for the American Psychological Association. However, that does not imply that we must tolerate its risks.
It's a conversation that's deeply personal because so many of us, whether as mothers, sisters, friends or simply as women, know the invisible weight that social media places on young shoulders.
A recent post went viral for calling this out: 'We have failed our girls as a society. Clubs let in underage girls. Predators prey on them. And older sisters on social media say it's okay to sell.'
This isn't just about likes and followers, it's about real life, real risks and real consequences.
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Young women are told to 'love themselves' while being shown over and over that they must change to be loved.
Image: Anna Shvets/pexels
The performance of 'authenticity'
Sarah Banet-Weiser, professor at the University of Pennsylvania, explains how young women are pushed to "perform authenticity" online - to be "real" but also curated, filtered and perfect at once. This paradox is exhausting and dangerous.
The hashtags #livingmybestlife and #nofilter hide the hours of preparation, editing and anxiety behind each post.
Young women are told to 'love themselves' while being shown over and over that they must change to be loved.
Amy Dobson, in her research, describes how girls often use 'performative shamelessness' as a defence, posting boldly to protect themselves from criticism.
But this protective layer is fragile. Feminist scholar Angela McRobbie warns that the demand to be perfect under constant surveillance can break girls emotionally, leading to shame, bullying and sometimes tragedy.
The cost of being seen
Visibility on social media can seem empowering. But as Banet-Weiser writes, it often comes with racism, misogyny and homophobia – especially for young women who are Black, non-white or LGBTQ+.
Instead of freeing girls, social media can trap them in a cycle of judgment, where popularity depends on constant self-promotion. It's a toxic mix.
Plan International's global study of 14 000 women aged 15 - 25 found that more than half had been cyber-stalked, abused or sent explicit images. The pressure to stay visible, popular and desirable can push girls towards choices that are risky offline too.
'Blesser' culture and dangerous gifts
In South Africa, this shows up painfully in 'blesser' culture, where older 'blessers' give young women money, clothes or trips in exchange for sex. According to Good Governance Africa, some families even depend on what these girls earn.
And on platforms like Blesserfinder, young women post pictures of cash and gifts as proof of 'success'.
Yet behind the filters and flashy captions are real dangers. Ideas42, a nonprofit, notes that girls often believe older men are less likely to carry HIV or that gifts equal love.
But young South African women aged 15 - 24 are three times more likely to be HIV positive than their male peers. And these transactional relationships, hidden from view, make it harder to protect girls or offer help.
Celebrities, perfection and mental health
It's not just local influencers or blessers. Global celebrity culture fuels this, too. Child Mind Institute quotes Sasha, a 16-year-old, who says she knows images are staged, yet still feels jealous.
In 2015, Instagram star Essena O'Neill famously quit, saying her pictures were fake: 'stomach sucked in, strategic pose, pushed up boobs.'
She wanted younger girls to know this wasn't real life.
In 2015, Instagram star Essena O'Neill famously quit, saying her pictures were fake: 'stomach sucked in, strategic pose, pushed up boobs.'
Image: Following NYC/pexels
Clinical psychologist Mary Alvord says the teenage brain is wired to seek approval, and social media feeds that need to be constantly refreshed. A gap grows between who girls are online and who they really feel themselves to be, often leading to frustration and depression.
What can we do?
Experts like Alvord believe social media isn't going away, so we must teach young people to use it safely, just like we teach them to drive. And as a society, we need to stop normalising luxury lifestyles as a measure of worth, especially for girls as young as 16.
We also have to question what we share and like. Are we praising curated images that hurt someone else's self-worth? Are we following influencers who show off gifts from blessers or unsustainable luxury?
For parents, mentors and friends, it means honest conversations: reminding young women that they don't have to be perfect, that their value isn't tied to Gucci belts or weekend trips, and that behind every 'perfect' selfie is a person struggling too.
Because at its heart, this isn't just about social media. It's about what we, as a society, choose to reward, watch and celebrate.
As Banet-Weiser writes, visibility itself isn't empowerment - not if it makes girls more vulnerable. We need to help young women see that being real isn't about filters or flaunting, but about knowing they don't have to trade safety or self-respect for a like.