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Oh, Do You Have Some Zucchini?

Oh, Do You Have Some Zucchini?

New York Times5 hours ago
As a longtime apartment dweller, I've dabbled in the requisite windowsill herb garden, and I did once get reprimanded by my super for keeping a planter of sprouting radishes on my fire escape. But I have never known the true pleasures of tending a garden.
Oh, have I heard about the pitfalls, though. Over the years of writing this newsletter, I have received from readers multiple versions of the following: too much zucchini so much zucchini the zucchini is taking over who will save us!
Zucchini plants are, in a word, prolific. You've already made enough zucchini loaves and cakes to supply a bakery and have given enough away to curry favor with all of your neighbors. Now, Zucchini Bingo is the answer.
Zucchini Pancakes | Summer Vegetable Skewers | Orzo Salad With Lentils and Zucchini | Smashed Zucchini With Chickpeas and Peanuts | Chilled Zucchini Soup With Lemon and Basil | Crispy Zucchini Hero | Summer Pasta With Zucchini, Ricotta and Basil | Sheet-Pan Zucchini, Tomatoes and Feta | Zucchini Salad With Bread Crumbs
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2 Reasons Why People Get Stuck In ‘Situationships' — By A Psychologist
2 Reasons Why People Get Stuck In ‘Situationships' — By A Psychologist

Forbes

time25 minutes ago

  • Forbes

2 Reasons Why People Get Stuck In ‘Situationships' — By A Psychologist

Have you ever been in a relationship that never quite went anywhere, but somehow managed to persist? Perhaps you did couple-like things — went on dates, spent quality time together, practiced intimacy — but never took the time or effort to actually define your relationship with a label, or let alone as exclusive. These are what, today, are known as 'situationships.' In a March 2024 study, lead researcher Michael R. Langlais defined and characterized these dynamics as having: In a follow-up study in June of this year, published in Sexuality & Culture, Langlais and his fellow research team sought to uncover the reasons as to why individuals seek these half-romantic, half-noncommittal kinds of dynamics. Why Individuals Stay In Unsatisfying 'Situationships' In the March 2024 study, Langlais and his team were ultimately able to deduce that situationships are, overall, significantly less satisfying and of lower quality than exclusive romantic relationships are. This begged the question: Why, if they're generally so unsatisfying, do people allow them to continue? In their 2025 study, by means of both a qualitative and quantitative study, the authors were able to uncover seven recurring themes in the participants' responses — all of which contributed to their reasons for maintaining their situationships: Even just one of these factors can make it tricky to find the motivation to abandon a situationship altogether. But, in many cases, individuals likely face a mixture of multiple (if not all) of these factors. As Langlais explained in an interview with PsyPost, 'We were expecting that some participants would be sexually motivated to maintain a situationship or because they had fears of committing towards the future.' Continuing, he explained, 'Instead, our data suggests that many people form situationships as a potential gateway to a traditional relationship, sort of like relationship purgatory — a place where people wait to see if they are ready and want to transition to an official relationship.' Here are two reasons why, according to the 2025 study, these factors can leave you stuck in a long-term situationship that doesn't truly serve you. 1. Investment Theory: The Sunk Cost Fallacy As 2017 research from the Journal of Economic Psychology outlines, the sunk cost fallacy refers to the human tendency to keep investing in something simply because we've already put so much into it. Even when our investments are no longer benefitting us, the logic of, 'Well, I've already come this far, so I might as well keep going,' ultimately keeps us investing. This reasoning, in fairness, is both intuitive and logical at a glance. However, it's this very same mindset that usually leaves us stuck in dead-end jobs, toxic friendships, poor financial situations and, of course, half-baked situationships. Regardless, individuals are still inclined to disregard the idea of leaving by telling themselves, 'We've been seeing each other for six months already,' or 'I've invested so much energy into this, I can't just leave now.' But the uncomfortable truth is that the time and effort you've already spent is gone, no matter what. Staying won't bring those resources back; staying can and probably will continue to drain you further if the connection isn't reciprocal or meaningful. If you're debating whether or not to exit your situationship, there are some questions to ask yourself that can help you remove your sunk cost blinders. For instance, if you met this person for the first time today, would you actively choose this same dynamic again? If your friend told you that they were in the exact same situation, what would you tell them? Instead of worrying about what you'd lose by leaving, have you considered what you'd possibly gain? Letting go of something unfulfilling is never a waste. Irrespective of what you've already spent on the situationship, choosing to leave could prove to be a much greater investment — except, this time, into your invaluable time, energy and emotional well-being. 2. Social Exchange Theory: Pros Vs. Cons Social exchange theory, according to 2023 research from Frontiers in Psychology, suggests that individuals are likely to make relationship decisions based on their perceptions of the costs and rewards thereof. In other words, we're more likely to stay in a relationship, even an unclear or unsatisfying one, if the pros seem to outweigh its cons. Situationships, objectively, do offer an array of perks. 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Choosing to walk away doesn't mean that you didn't care, or that you purely saw your situationship as a means for rewards and benefits. Rather, it means choosing to care about yourself, too. You deserve a relationship where love isn't just occasional or implied, and you deserve to find it sooner rather than later. Are your needs truly being met in your situationship? Take this science-backed test to find out: Loneliness In Intimate Relationships Scale

6 communication tips to help fix a mental load imbalance in a relationship
6 communication tips to help fix a mental load imbalance in a relationship

Yahoo

timean hour ago

  • Yahoo

6 communication tips to help fix a mental load imbalance in a relationship

Ask for ownership, not 'help.' Kid's doctor appointment? Booked. Their shoe size? Memorized. School supplies? Added to cart. These small tasks tell a bigger story about the constant, quiet work of raising kids that happens behind the scenes. And for many families, the mental load of anticipating and planning what everyone needs often falls on the mom's shoulders. In the 11th episode of their podcast, After Bedtime With Big Little Feelings, Big Little Feelings founders Deena Margolin, a child therapist specializing in interpersonal neurobiology, and Kristin Gallant, a parenting coach with a background in maternal and child education, discuss the parts of motherhood that feel isolating and chaotic, how to let go of perfection and actually give yourself a break. In this edition of Yahoo's "" column, Margolin talks about the many unseen and unrecognized tasks that moms typically take on, which can create both resentment and burnout. Margolin also shares six simple ways to communicate the mental load you're carrying with your partner so you can team up and help turn things around, as well as the advice she'd give to moms who are trying to do it all. Ever feel like your brain has 52 tabs open and you're juggling back and forth between all of them? That's the mental load of moms: the constant, invisible work of planning, managing and worrying about a family's needs, and it's often done without recognition — or relief. As Cameron Rogers, founder and host of the 'Conversations with Cam' podcast, puts it: 'You still are never not thinking about it all.' So what does the mental load of moms look like? Here are some examples: Planning and remembering: Staying on top of birthdays for family, friends and classmates; scheduling doctor appointments; planning meals and grocery lists; organizing school calendars; sizing up in shoes and clothes when kids have outgrown them; and tracking kids' social-emotional needs are all examples of the running lists, and evolving information that may be swirling inside a mom brain. Anticipating and problem-solving: This can mean everything from anticipating your kid's heading for a meltdown and doing what you can to mitigate it to adjusting the day's plans when your kid wakes up sick. It's prepping backup clothes, snacks or activities for your children and packing (and unpacking) for family trips. Household management: It's restocking the toothpaste, toilet paper and snacks; dealing with laundry needs and changing the bedding; cleaning and maintaining the home; and paying bills and budgeting. Childcare and emotional labor: This includes managing bedtime routines and middle-of-the-night sleep struggles; being your child's 'emotional thermostat' and helping them regulate themselves; teaching values, coping skills and boundaries; and tracking friendship dynamics, class changes and anxiety triggers. Work and school overlap: A tricky part of parenting is managing work deadlines while coordinating child care pickups and drop-offs; keeping track of school projects; communicating with teachers and volunteering at your kid's school — all while balancing career growth and family needs, often at your own expense. Self-silencing and invisible logistics: It's silently absorbing the 'default parent' role; downplaying your own burnout to avoid rocking the boat; and saying to yourself, 'If I don't do it, it won't get done.' 6 ways to communicate about the mental load with your partner Feeling stretched thin? It's time to have a chat with your partner. 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State investigation puts Howard County special education staffing shortages in the spotlight, again
State investigation puts Howard County special education staffing shortages in the spotlight, again

CBS News

timean hour ago

  • CBS News

State investigation puts Howard County special education staffing shortages in the spotlight, again

A Howard County special education school is in the hot seat after an investigation by the Maryland Office of Inspector General for Education. According to one of the OIGE's findings, two classes at Cedar Lane School were not being taught by a certified teacher. The report, though, points out that this is indicative of a systemic and national problem with finding special education teachers. The Howard County Public School System confirmed to WJZ it is making progress at Cedar Lane School. HCPSS's problems in its special education program have been a longstanding topic of discussion in Howard County for years. Parents and staff alike have been sounding the alarm, saying more needs to be done to make the situation better for students. One issue that's come up a lot -- how short-staffed the program is. That issue is at the center of an OIGE investigation in Cedar Lane School. When investigators went inside, they found two instances where two classes with a special education teacher vacancy were assigned three paraeducators instead. "MSDE guidance states that while paraeducators may assist in instructional delivery and classroom management, they cannot replace certified educators in providing specially designed instruction, implementing IEP goals, or assuming instructional responsibility," the investigative report notes. But, the report also notes this method helped the school maintain minimum student-to-staff ratios, as well as how "this situation reflects a local challenge and a national teacher shortage..." In a statement, an HCPSS spokesman said the last teacher vacancy at Cedar Lane School is expected to be filled this week. HCPSS Superintendent Bill Barnes told WJZ last month that hiring has been a top priority this summer. "I'm proud of the human resources team," Barnes said. "They've worked closely with our community partners to understand how we might do things differently and get feedback. So, they've been very aggressive, and it's just the beginning." The report recommended developing staffing pipelines, as well as reconfiguring classrooms for student safety. Other safety recommendations include better communication and processes among staff. HCPSS is currently working on a strategic plan for its special education program. It's expected to be unveiled at a Board of Education meeting later this month.

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