Conjoined twin Carmen Andrade got married, and many have comments. Has it gone too far?

USA Today

a day ago

As conjoined twins, Carmen and Lupita Andrade are used to intrusive and inappropriate comments. After all, the 25-year-old sisters have spoken about receiving unwanted questions on TikTok and YouTube, where they've amassed over 18,000 and 255,000 followers respectively.
So it's not a shock that now that news is circulating of Carmen's wedding last October, the sisters are once again getting fielding endless comments from people on the internet.
"I know we're all wondering the same thing here…" one person wrote on Instagram, in a comment on Today's post sharing the news. "My mind cannot comprehend..." wrote another. "I could write and produce a 6 season TV show with the questions I have in my head (right now)."
The Andrade sisters have made it clear they're done answering people's questions, at least for now. Carmen put it bluntly in her Instagram bio, writing: "this isn't a Q&A account. Don't care about your curiosity like you didn't care about my feelings"
A post shared by Carmen Andrade (@carmen_soland)
Carmen and Lupita aren't the only conjoined twins who've dealt with unwanted attention. Last year, Brittany and Abigail Hensel − conjoined twins who starred on the series "Abby & Brittany" in 2012 − received similar commentary when reports surface Abigail had a private wedding in 2021.
Experts in disability and media studies told USA TODAY at the time the heightened fascination around the Hensels' personal relationships illuminates a lot about how people treat and talk about those with unusual bodies. The same holds true for the Andrade sisters.
More: Conjoined twins Abby, Brittany Hensel back in spotlight after wedding speculation. It's gone too far.
The truth is, conjoined twins, like anyone else, deserve to live a normal life and not spark discussion when they do so.
"We see something where this is unusual, this is exciting, this is a little out of the ordinary, and it's not something that many people are equipped to talk about very well," Elizabeth Ellcessor, an associate professor of media studies at the University of Virginia and author of the book "Restricted Access: Media, Disability, and the Politics of Participation," previously told USA TODAY. Ellcessor noted a lot of comments and media coverage present events like these as "something remarkable" but it's helpful to remember people "get married all the time."
Why are people so fascinated by Carmen Andrade's wedding?
Carmen and Lupita Andrade shared details of Carmen's wedding at the end of a YouTube video posted in late May. In it, the twins revealed Carmen married her boyfriend Daniel about seven months prior in a small ceremony with just their local family members. In a Today article published July 10, Carmen shared they eloped in October. Today reports Carmen and Daniel met on the dating app Hinge in 2020.
Not all the attention the twins have received in the wake of this news has been negative; they've gotten plenty of supportive comments too. "Love seeing people happy," one person wrote on Instagram. "At this point love is love. No judging," wrote another.
A post shared by Carmen Andrade (@carmen_soland)
On the one hand, fascination around conjoined twins is to be expected, Alice Dreger, a historian, bioethicist and the author of "One of Us: Conjoined Twins and the Future of Normal," previously told USA TODAY. After all, conjoined twins are rare, and people are often fascinated by the lives of those in unusual circumstances.
"People have always been fascinated by conjoined twins because they obviously represent a challenge to the way we think about individuality," Dreger said. "We normally think of individuality as being about one person existing in one expansive skin, and, for conjoined twins like Abigail and Brittany, they are are obviously two people in one expansive skin."
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This fascination, however, becomes problematic when it gives way to exploitation and the violation of others' privacy. The Hensel twins, for instance, have kept a relatively low public profile outside their television appearances, giving the impression they aren't interested in sharing every detail of their lives with the world. The Andrade twins have been open with answering some questions on social media, but on their own terms − and they've made it clear they find constant questioning from the public exhausting.
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Ellcessor explained fascination around conjoined twins' romantic relationships is especially inappropriate, because it often stems from "prurient sexual interest." Therefore, it makes sense that conjoined twins tend to "have no interest in answering follow-up questions" on this topic.
"This is not anyone else's business," Ellcessor added.
How should we talk about Carmen and Lupita Andrade?
Ellcessor added it's essential for any discussion about conjoined twins' private lives to happen on their terms, not anyone else's, and to let the twins take the lead on what's OK for speculation and what's not.
"The best advice is to prioritize their voices and their wishes," she said. "What do they want to share? What do they want us to know?"
It's also important to remember to treat people with unusual bodies as human beings rather than as anomalies.
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And, if they choose to not open their lives to discussion, it's important to respect that.
"The experience of having a body that's different depends on the culture that's around you," Dreger said. "In fact, throughout history, most conjoined twins have chosen to live in small towns for I think exactly this reason: that they can live peaceful lives without constant interference."