The 'Lost Boys' debate: Are positive male role models the answer?

Irish Examiner

25-05-2025

The recent rise of male supremacist influencers, coupled with the unprecedented success of the Netflix series Adolescence, has provoked a plethora of public debate about what boys need in order to resist the toxic impact of manosphere figures and groups online.
Especially prevalent among the proposed solutions are calls for healthier or more positive male role models to fill a void that boys are allegedly experiencing. We have seen this, for example, in Gareth Southgate's Richard Dimbleby Lecture and in numerous opinion pieces including Finian Murphy's piece in the Irish Examiner recently.
Interestingly, these calls come from both reactionary and progressive quarters, albeit in manifestly different guises.
Conservative responses generally attribute the lure of manfluencers to a crisis of masculinity, grinding the age-old axe of the pre-internet men's rights movement, which blames all of boys' – and indeed society's – problems on a lack of strong role models due to fatherlessness and the 'feminisation' of education.
You don't have to scratch too hard beneath their invocations of disciplinarian manhood to see how these ideas might be pushing back against lesbian parents and single mothers, or advocating for more authoritarian, 'unwoke' educational systems.
In more liberal contexts, however, there is also a broad consensus that boys need positive male role models and that providing them with same-sex teachers or youth leaders will have a positive effect on their sense of identity, behaviour and educational attainment. Looking beyond the contexts of home and school, many have suggested that figures such as Blindboy, Emmet Kirwan or Hasan Piker provide important alternative perspectives on equality and social justice, a sentiment I would certainly echo.
However, there is a fundamental flaw in the male role model paradigm, namely that there is no consensus on what constitutes positive masculinity.
Parents and teachers in affluent schools may have very different concepts and requirements of a positive role model to those in disadvantaged schools and youth clubs. Does he have to be a leader, a hero or the best at something? Can he be gay or a trans man? Does he embody stoicism or softness?
Even if there were agreement on this, how would such an exemplar of 'healthy masculinity' appeal to the diversity of boys in any classroom? The criteria are at best fuzzy, subjective and ideologically charged.
Many have suggested that figures such as Blindboy, Emmet Kirwan (pictured) or Hasan Piker provide important alternative perspectives on equality and social justice. Picture: Ste Murray
The bigger problem, however, is that the concept is fundamentally sexist because it's predicated on the assumption that boys can only be inspired by, and will only listen to, other boys or men. This same-sex modelling narrative is essentialist and one-dimensional, casting women and men as fixed, homogeneous categories.
It also perpetuates the very problem we are trying to address, namely that many boys have been conditioned to undervalue the legitimacy and authority of women and girls. Importantly, the academic research shows a lack of empirical evidence for the effectiveness of male role modelling.
In the UK, Sandy Ruxton and colleagues found no evidence that boys require male role models as opposed to mentors and guides of any gender who offer genuine empathy and sustained support. Martin Robb and colleagues also challenged the notion that gender must dictate mentorship in shaping positive behaviour, as their research showed that boys are equally receptive to learning and being influenced by female role models.
A recent study in Australia by Pippa Mulley and Sarah Epstein found that boys' perceptions of gender were shaped by a blend of ideas, values, and familial practices, rather than merely mimicking the actions of men. In particular, feminist mothers played a key role in shaping their understandings of non-typical masculinity practices and embracing progressive values.
There is a fundamental flaw in the male role model paradigm, namely that there is no consensus on what constitutes positive masculinity. File picture
Similarly, there is no evidence that male teachers or fathers are an automatic antidote to the toxic ideas and behaviours being propagated online. The 2023 Internet Matters report in the UK found that over half of young dads (56%) up to the age of 35 had a favourable view of Andrew Tate.
Like mothers and female teachers, fathers and male teachers have diverse identities, political views and approaches to teaching and parenting. If we are broadly agreed on equality and opposed to sexist discrimination in the workplace, what is it that male teachers can provide which female or non-binary teachers can't?
One of the strengths of 'Adolescence' is that it resisted lazy, half-baked explanations: Jamie had both a father and male teachers but they failed to provide the mentorship he needed.
Interestingly, we don't see the same panic around positive role models for girls. This is not because they don't need them – we all need mentors, supporters and cheerleaders in our lives, as well as cultural icons who inspire us. But girls, because are they not afraid to show one another care and love for fear of being labelled gay, tend to support each other more.
As Niobe Way has long argued, boys are not suffering due to a crisis of masculinity but because of a crisis of connection.
Role models or mentors are only one element of what boys need to navigate social change in a world that is hellbent on telling them they are on the losing end of progress. What's more, these figures do not need to be either male or heroic. On the contrary, it is only by nurturing boyhoods free from gender straightjacketing that we can promote emotional well-being and build resistance to problematic beliefs and behaviours.
(Left to right) Erin Doherty as Briony Ariston and Owen Cooper as Jamie Miller in Adolescence. One of the strengths of Adolescence is that it resisted lazy, half-baked explanations: Jamie had both a father and male teachers but they failed to provide the mentorship he needed. Picture: Ben Blackall/Netflix © 2024
Boys need supportive friendship networks which do not measure masculinity by sexual conquest, physical strength or wealth, and which do not stigmatise them for being different. They need critical digital literacy skills, and they need home and school contexts that nurture rather than suppress empathy.
As Jessica Ringrose has argued, the boys-in-crisis discourse and its attendant panic about male role modelling is not only unhelpful for boys, but it also distracts from the needs of girls, non-binary youth and other non-dominant boys.
Instead of using masculinity or femininity as a starting point, modelling for positive ways of being and doing should instead acknowledge and celebrate the rich diversity of the people who guide, support and inspire us all, irrespective of gender.
Debbie Ging is Professor of Digital Media and Gender in the School of Communications at Dublin City University and Director of the DCU Institute for Research on Genders and Sexualities
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