Overcoming Body Insecurity: My Breast Confidence Story
'I had a double mastectomy and reconstructive surgery because I have a genetic mutation that causes breast cancer and ovarian cancer,' I told him.
I assured him I didn't have cancer. I mentioned that Angelina Jolie didn't have cancer either, but had done the same thing. I had the surgery years before Jolie, but most people are familiar with her experience.
I was afraid that my speech about dying and ugly boobs would be a buzzkill, but I needed to warn him so he wouldn't be surprised at what he saw or touched. I felt the familiar panic I always had when I gave my speech. I worried that the man I was starting to like would be disappointed or repulsed. My armpits were sweaty and I hoped that my deodorant was working.
'Don't worry, I've seen women with implants before,' he said.
'Not my kind of implants,' I replied.
In the direct, matter-of-fact way that I'm now used to, he said, 'Let's get this over with,' and gently lifted my T-shirt over my head. I helped him unhook my bra. He looked at my boobs quickly, said they're gorgeous, and though I didn't believe him, we continued to kiss.
Since then, I've discussed my insecurity about my breasts with David many times.
I am not the same person who hid under a T-shirt for so long and never told her ex-husband how afraid she was that he wouldn't desire or love her after a double mastectomy.
I wasted years after the surgery hating and hiding my breasts, but I don't blame myself. I grew up in a looks-obsessed culture that made me think I had to look like Angelina Jolie. I'm happy that Jolie told the world she has the BRCA gene mutation and had prophylactic surgery, because she may have saved some lives. Maybe her reconstruction looks better than mine, and maybe she wasn't afraid to take her shirt off afterwards. I was, because our culture makes women feel like they have to look perfect.
Now, I see my breasts as just another imperfection, like the wrinkles on my knees or the age spots on my forearms, and they don't make me more or less lovable.
My reconstructed breasts no longer feel like a secret I have to hide. David has normalized my chest for me because he touches me frequently and without hesitation. When he touches my breasts and tells me he loves them, I have started to believe him. Not because I think my boobs are beautiful or even just OK, but because they're part of me.
I showed David the real me by taking my shirt off, but I learned that discussing my insecurities was what really mattered. Now, when David and I spoon and he reaches his arm over my back and rests his hand on one of my breasts, I relax into his touch and fall asleep.
Margery Berger is the mother of two grown children and lives in Miami with her two poorly behaved dogs and David. She has written for Home Miami Magazine, Lip Service, Next Tribe and for the Writing Class Radio podcast.
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Horner suggested that future research could explore whether limiting screen use in the hours before sleep, when light from screen exposure may disrupt circadian rhythms and disrupt sleep onset, may be an avenue to help reduce cardiometabolic risk. Study details, background and design: Co-authors, disclosures and funding sources are listed in the manuscript. Studies published in the American Heart Association's scientific journals are peer-reviewed. The statements and conclusions in each manuscript are solely those of the study authors and do not necessarily reflect the Association's policy or position. The Association makes no representation or guarantee as to their accuracy or reliability. The Association receives more than 85% of its revenue from sources other than corporations. These sources include contributions from individuals, foundations and estates, as well as investment earnings and revenue from the sale of our educational materials. Corporations (including pharmaceutical, device manufacturers and other companies) also make donations to the Association. The Association has strict policies to prevent any donations from influencing its science content and policy positions. Overall financial information is available here. Additional Resources: ### About the American Heart Association The American Heart Association is a relentless force for a world of longer, healthier lives. Dedicated to ensuring equitable health in all communities, the organization has been a leading source of health information for more than one hundred years. Supported by more than 35 million volunteers globally, we fund groundbreaking research, advocate for the public's health, and provide critical resources to save and improve lives affected by cardiovascular disease and stroke. By driving breakthroughs and implementing proven solutions in science, policy, and care, we work tirelessly to advance health and transform lives every day. Connect with us on Facebook, X or by calling 1-800-AHA-USA1. For Media Inquiries and AHA/ASA Expert Perspective: 214-706-1173 Bridgette McNeill, [email protected] For Public Inquiries: 1-800-AHA-USA1 (242-8721) and
