Premier League's bully boys kill the romance in Europe's hip competitions

Yahoo

06-05-2025

Manchester United, Spurs and Chelsea have not messed around in Europe.
Composite: Getty Images
FRIDAY FEELGOOD STORY
Those of a Liverpool persuasion, do look away now. That's if you've sobered up from last Sunday, but even if you've had your fun this may annoy: there's a thought this has been an unsatisfying Premier League season. Brentford's beating of Nottingham Forest on Thursday night further dulled the romance. It looks as if the Tricky Trees will not now be in Bigger Cup, much to the chagrin of edit producers who had already started working on that Cloughie montage. With zero relegation battle there's only Manchester City's fall from grace to, er, fourth to gawp at. Thank goodness for the continent, then, where the Premier League's brave boys can remind those Eurocrats that ours is the best bloody league in the world. It's going well, actually, though there is something of a bullies turning up at junior school vibe to such success. That's to set aside Arsenal, hanging on in Bigger Cup's semis, a goal down despite the fear North London Forever must have put into PSG at the Emirates.
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The real quiz comes in those tournaments where appeal is more selective. Bigger Vase, a repechage of those not good enough for the top tier, offered double helpings of patriotic pride. In north London, in the first leg, billionaire-owned Tottenham faced hipster's favourites Bodø/Glimt, the Arctic Circle community club who sound like a post-rock outfit on the Thrill Jockey label or a piece of Scandi self-assembly furniture, and won 3-1. Such is the pessimism that surrounds Spurs that much of the focus went on Ulrik Saltnes's late goal, and the plastic pitch greeting them next week in far-northern Norway. 'Look, it is on artificial grass but it's still a game of football,' roared Ange Postecoglou.
Hurrah also then for Manchester United, football's grandest crisis club, owned by two separate billionaire factions, for crushing Basque Country jewel Athletic Club, a team collated by cantera – homespun talent – rather than hoofing cash on windy flops, 3-0 in their own stadium. Beaten-down Reds were wiping their eyes in disbelief that Ruben Amorim's team played so well. Where did that come from? Big Red seem to have developed a welcome habit of getting an opponent sent off. This time, it was Athletic's Dani Vivian, dismissed for hauling back Rasmus Højlund in the style of a slapstick early-1980s yoof comedy.
To complete the matchbox of England's glory, Chelsea, also owned by billionaires – of the venture capitalist variety – beat Djurgården 4-1 in Stockholm. A plastic pitch proved no issue for Enzo Maresca's entertainers as they walloped a team where the fans come first, just the type of minnows that Tin Pot is supposed to bring the best from, like a Scania artic rolling over roadkill. Well done, he's 13.
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QUOTE OF THE DAY
We've had some difficult results, we are bottom of the league and we were never going to become solid and be dominant in the game. If we did that when I came in with seven games to go, I'd probably be able to bring world peace as well' – interim manager Simon Rusk on how he would have been worthy of a Nobel prize if he'd managed to coach a bit of backbone into his rock-bottom Southampton side.
FOOTBALL DAILY LETTERS
The potential Tottenham Hotspur or Spurs v Manchester United Bigger Vase final is going to be that paradox of a clash between one that can't win and one that doesn't want to win' – Krishna Moorthy.
As noticed by me and 1,056 others, your Memory Lane (yesterday's Football Daily, full email edition) photo of Tony Hateley and Emlyn Hughes reminds me of the great Ted Lowe commentary: 'For those of you watching in black and white, the pink is next to the green'' – Louis Beasley-Suffolk.
Sorry, I disagree with with you, Tom Dowler (yesterday's Football Daily letters). Riqui Puig was unfortunately injured, and seems to spend most of his time being largely nice, if a bit puppyish and over enthusiastic. John Terry got himself banned from the final by being a divot in the semi. Can we please keep Terry as the epitome of the full-kit celebration? It is the very least he deserves. Plus, I don't care who wins Bigger Cup now, but I do want someone to slip on their ar$e, c0ck up a penalty and start crying so we can bring that up again too' – Jon Millard.
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