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Independent Singapore
18 hours ago
- Independent Singapore
Commuter upset after seeing an elderly man with a prosthetic standing on crowded MRT
SINGAPORE: A commuter felt upset after witnessing an elderly uncle with a prosthetic leg forced to stand on a packed MRT train, while younger passengers stayed seated and looked away. Sharing the incident on the r/SMRTRabak forum on Friday (July 11), the commuter uploaded a photo of the uncle standing near the train doors, holding a walking cane in one hand and gripping the handrail tightly with the other. According to the post, an SMRT staff member eventually stepped in to help and asked a younger man to give up his seat, but the man 'shook his head and ignored the staff.' 'Luckily, Uncle got off at the next station,' the commuter said. 'But it felt like with the Stomp saga of the pregnant lady who didn't ask for seats, same as this uncle.' He went on to question whether the issue might go beyond just people lacking empathy. 'It really makes me wonder what the root of the problem is… Is it that our train cabins are designed with too much standing room and not enough seats in the first place, forcing these uncomfortable situations to happen so often, or what?' he said. 'Technically, it's not illegal to not give up seats, right? Probably just will feel bad or something?' he added. '…there are not enough people with empathy.' In the comments, many others shared that they've had similar experiences. One user said they had a broken leg and were on crutches, but people still rushed ahead to take empty seats before they could even reach them. They added, 'Oftentimes, only the auntie/uncle will offer me a seat, but I feel too bad to take their seat, so I just stand.' Another wrote, 'It's sad, man, to see an uncle that old age plus wearing prosthetics and not having a seat on a train… (Shakes head). Where is the humanity?!' A third remarked, 'The root of the problem is, there are not enough people with empathy.' On the other hand, there were also those who defended the young man who declined to give up his seat. One user explained, 'What if… the young fella also got issues but not as visible. Giving up a seat should be done out of one's own will. Not being asked to do so. I got asked to give up my seat once by an angmoh tourist and was met with a look of disgust when I refused. I was recovering from breaking my back. It felt damn offensive.' Another commented, 'I'm assuming the young chap was in a non-reserved seat, right? He's not obligated to give up.' In other news, a Singaporean man who was laid off earlier this year from his role as a tech project manager shared on Reddit that he's been unemployed for over five months and is starting to feel discouraged about his job search. Posting on the r/singaporefi subreddit, he explained that since losing his job, he has been actively applying for roles, customising his resume for each position, and doing everything people typically advise during a job hunt. However, despite all his efforts, he has received only three interview calls so far, and unfortunately, none of them have led to a job offer. Read more: 'They mind my gap': Laid-off tech worker says 5 months of job hunting have led to only 3 interviews
CNA
a day ago
- CNA
Is a master's degree still worth it? Maybe not, say some recent graduates
For Mr Low, the former polytechnic lecturer, earning a master's degree was a personal milestone. "My late dad was a teacher. After O Levels, I went to ITE (Institute of Technical Education). Back then, being associated with ITE felt like the end – and for a parent who was an MOE teacher, it was a bit of a disappointment,' he said. Mr Low later went on to complete his polytechnic diploma and bachelor's degree. 'Sadly, my dad didn't live to see me pursue my master's. He passed away in April 2023 from liver cancer. I dedicate this achievement to him.' In CNA TODAY's conversations with other master's degree holders, many said they still believe in the value of the qualification, especially for those who want to stay up-to-date with changes in technology and how industries are evolving. Ms Wong Jian Hui, 39, a planning manager at Tower Transit Singapore, believes that with artificial intelligence, automation and sustainability reshaping businesses, a master's degree can provide the cross-industry knowledge needed to see the bigger picture and stay adaptable. "It's most useful for those who are curious, open to learning beyond their current scope and looking to stay relevant in a fast-evolving work environment," she said. She graduated with a master's in information technology in 2023, driven by a mix of curiosity and a desire to future-proof her career. Ms Janice Tay, 45, left her finance role after her son was diagnosed with global developmental delay – a condition where a child shows slower progress in multiple areas of development – and other learning needs, and started an early intervention centre in 2017. She said she had initially tried shorter courses and certificates, but they felt too piecemeal. Seeking a programme that connected child development, teaching strategies, and inclusive practices, she enrolled in a master's in special education in 2020. 'Without the master's, I might still have been able to start a centre, but I doubt I would have earned the same level of trust from professionals, government partners, or even families as quickly,' Ms Tay said. 'The master's wasn't a direct path to a higher salary in the traditional sense, since I transitioned from the corporate sector to founding a social enterprise. But it enabled me to build a sustainable business model that now supports a full-time team, allows us to reinvest in services, and continues to grow.' Then there is Mr Zhuang Changzhong, 34, a former litigator whose 2023 master's in information technology armed him with the technical skills to leap from the courtroom to a financial-sector role overseeing data privacy and regulatory compliance. 'Being a litigation lawyer, it would have been difficult to go in-house into a corporate role," he said. 'But the master's programme equipped me with the skills that allowed me to find my place in regulatory legal work. I would say it had a measurable impact, where I am able to contribute meaningfully even in a new role in a new industry.' Mr Imran Khan, 39, a communications educator, completed his second master's degree, in creative writing, in 2021. His first, an MBA, had enabled him to relocate from Dubai to Singapore in 2015. That MBA, which cost him about US$16,000, delivered a clear return on investment. 'I don't think moving to Singapore would have been possible without it,' he said. It opened doors to a new market, industry and roles, and he more than recouped the cost. After years of working in Singapore, he pursued the creative writing degree purely out of passion for the craft and the chance to connect with like-minded people. 'I went in knowing it wouldn't necessarily pay off financially. But I wanted to be intellectually stimulated, immerse myself in the local writing scene and meet people I wouldn't have otherwise connected with,' he said. While the monetary returns are 'debatable', he said that was not the reason he pursued creative writing. 'I had the opportunity, I could afford it, and I finally had the time. So I thought, why not? Let's fulfil this childhood dream I've always had. And I'm much happier for it.'
CNA
a day ago
- CNA
Parent or pal: Why you should not try so hard to be your child's 'friend'
I have always been fascinated by how my aunt has a remarkably close relationship with her son. Even when my cousin was overseas, she would call him almost every day. Across oceans, they shared updates on how life was going, celebrated milestones such as birthdays and even sent each other personalised care packages. When I asked how she built this bond, her advice was: "Be like a friend." Her suggestion gave me pause. It ran counter to the traditional approaches of strict, structured parenting that was more familiar to me. Caught between these perspectives, I wondered: Is being like a friend truly the right approach, or does it risk creating confusion for the child? HELPING CHILDREN UNDERSTAND WHY RULES EXIST When I posed to experts the notion of friendly parenting, they all cautioned about the importance of maintaining the parent role, but agreed that a friendly approach may have benefits. Clinical psychologist Annabelle Chow, from mental healthcare provider Annabelle Psychology, said: "While it is important for parents to maintain appropriate boundaries, adopting a friendly stance can be highly beneficial. This means fostering a warm, supportive environment where children feel safe, respected and understood." Counsellor Radhika Haralalka, from mental wellness and therapy centre The Other Clinic, said that "children have opinions and their opinions need to be valued". "That's the shift from your traditional, strict parenting," she said. "(It means) I am taking into consideration my child's opinion, not necessarily fully following it, but it is a more collaborative approach, rather than a 'do as I say, or else' approach." Positive "friendly parenting", the experts said, begins with active listening, consistent conversation and helping children understand why rules exist. Ms Haralalka stressed the importance of being someone children can talk to – someone who listens, validates and shows empathy. The role of parents is inherently different from that of a friend, where there is a natural hierarchy because of the responsibility of care and protection that parents need to fulfil towards the child. Assistant Professor Cheung Hoi Shan from the National Institute of Education, who studies the effects of parenting styles on children, said that it also means explaining the rationale behind a parent's expectations. For instance, when a child steps on the seats of an MRT train, the parent could explain that doing so would dirty the seat and inconvenience the next person who uses it. This is an example of "other-oriented induction", where the caregiver explains the impact that the child's behaviour has on others. Other suggestions include spending quality time together and involving children in age-appropriate problem-solving to help them feel empowered. For instance, you may offer the child two choices to pick when it comes to doing household chores. For older children, problem-solving tasks might include learning to divide up chores at home or guiding siblings to take turns explaining their side during a disagreement and encouraging them to suggest fair solutions. Dr Chow said: "With appropriate boundaries, these behaviours strengthen trust, encourage emotional vulnerability and model mutual respect." They also make children more likely to open up about their experiences. PARENTS AND THEIR FEARS That said, the experts cautioned that there is a risk of becoming too friendly, blurring the boundaries of the parental role. As Asst Prof Cheung warned, "'friendly parenting' does not necessarily mean that we become a friend to our child." She said: "The role of parents is inherently different from that of a friend, where there is a natural hierarchy because of the responsibility of care and protection that parents need to fulfil towards the child." If parents fall too far into the friend zone, they may fail to assert their authority, she noted. "It's important to recognise that being warm towards a child does not mean permissive parenting. Parents can be firm, but at the same time listen to the child's perspectives and help the child understand the rationale for setting the rules and expectations," she added. Ms Haralalka said that parents can become too permissive if they fear upsetting their child or have a strong desire to be liked and feel constantly connected – a pattern especially common among divorced parents. Dr Chow said that parents may have a "personal discomfort" with setting limits and boundaries. In wanting to avoid conflict, it can prevent them from setting boundaries confidently. This can result in overly friendly parenting, where the parent avoids imposing necessary discipline or expects responsibilities from the child beyond their developmental capacity. This may even go as far as treating the child as a confidante, where these parents may "overshare about their own problems, about their lives, about everything from their friendship and workplace problems to their marriage to the dating life to the sex life", Ms Haralalka said. There can be adverse consequences when this happens regularly. Faced with what seems like a parent who is unable to regulate emotions, children may feel emotionally unanchored and see rules as optional, making it harder for them to develop emotional self-regulation. THE BALANCING ACT Having established the pros and cons of friendly parenting, I asked the experts how to apply these principles to more specific situations. After all, each child's needs are different. "Parenting is the hardest job in the world," Ms Haralalka said. "The one tool parents can develop is the capacity to be reflective about their own parenting style, to emotionally regulate themselves and to be self-aware. "That means asking if this (parenting) style is what my child needs – is this helping or harming my child?" For example, reflection might reveal areas that have become too relaxed, such as bedtime routines, screen time or helping out with household chores. In these cases, Dr Chow suggested that parents explain the reasoning behind the new boundaries and help the children understand the boundaries come from a place of care, not control. When asserting boundaries, it is possible to acknowledge the child's feelings without giving in to their demands. To a child refusing to do their homework, Ms Haralalka proposed this response: "I know you don't want to do your homework and it's okay to feel upset about that. I'm here to help you manage your frustration but the homework still needs to be done. You can choose when to start, but it does have to get finished." It is not enough to set such boundaries – they must be enforced consistently. "Children may initially resist the new rules, but holding firm helps build a sense of predictability and emotional security," Dr Chow said. Ms Haralalka said that the boundaries you set may also depend on the age and maturity level of the child, where you can still offer the child choices within the limits of those boundaries. "For a young child, if you let them know what the plans are for the day, what you're going to do – it gives them that sense of control." The approach can differ for teenagers, where it may be impractical to enforce blanket restrictions such as total phone bans. "When it's a question of safety, children will comply more," Ms Haralalka said. For example, teenagers may be expected to stay contactable or let parents know where they are. BEING INTERESTED IN YOUR CHILD'S INTERESTS While these strategies may help establish healthy boundaries, I also wanted to know how a closer bond could be nurtured. Dr Chow said the key to this is that parents should avoid dismissing their child's experiences as trivial. 'It's important to recognise that children are growing up in a society shaped by different pressures, social norms and the pervasive influence of social media. Parents should try approaching these differences with curiosity and empathy.' Ms Haralalka advocated for "delighting in your child" – taking a genuine interest in their world and being willing to join them there. "For a very young child, it can mean joining in a game of building blocks or building sandcastles, going cycling with them," she said. "As they grow, it may mean playing video games together and enjoying it as a way to connect." Attunement comes from staying curious. "When you're attuned to your child, you know what they need and what their interests are," she added. Dr Chow said that the generational gap between parent and child is not a single hurdle to overcome, but that it is an ongoing shift that requires flexibility and openness. "By embracing this mindset, parents can foster emotional resilience, mutual respect and a strong meaningful connection with their children," she said.
