Actor Luke Evans on reaching 'dark place' and growing up gay as part of Jehovah's Witness community

Wales Online

2 days ago

Actor Luke Evans on reaching 'dark place' and growing up gay as part of Jehovah's Witness community
'Even at your darkest moments, there's still hope. You can still be okay'
Welsh actor and singer Luke Evans opened up about his tough childhood in the BBC's Alison Hammond's Big Weekend
(Image: BBC )
Hollywood actor Luke Evans has spoken about reaching a "dark place" during his teenage years when he was experiencing difficulties growing up as gay and being a member of the Jehovah's Witness community.
In the third episode of the brand new BBC series, Alison Hammond's Big Weekend, the beloved presenter, Alison Hammond, got to spend some time with Luke, who has starred in a number of big Hollywood blockbusters such as The Hobbit franchise, The Girl on the Train, and the 2017 film adaptation of Beauty and the Beast.
While on the programme, the Welsh actor and singer opened up about his tough childhood.
He candidly spoke about his experience of bullying and conflict between his homosexuality and religion, to the extent where he reached a "dark place" and contemplated suicide. For the latest TV and showbiz gossip sign up to our newsletter .
With each episode, Alison spends a weekend with various stars, including Little Mix's Perrie Edwards and comedian Jimmy Carr.
This week, the Great British Bake Off presenter was spending the weekend with Luke Evans in his hometown of Aberbargoed.
Throughout the episode, the actor had spoken candidly about his upbringing, including when he had gone through a very difficult time.
While travelling in the car, Alison wanted to delve deeper into Luke's upbringing, and the two spoke about the actor being brought up as a Jehovah's Witness.
Jehovah's Witnesses reject homosexuality. The actor explained that he understood he would be expelled from the community if he came out, which would also have implications on his family.
Alison Hammond met up with Luke's parents, Yvonne and David, at their home in Aberbargoed
(Image: BBC )
"I knew I was different, I didn't know I was gay," he explained. "I just knew I was different from the ages of 7, 8, 9, you know, very young."
He continued: "I also didn't have anyone outside the religion to be able to confide in or ask what was wrong.
"I've been baptised in the religion and that meant if I chose to be openly gay, I would be cut-off from everyone and everything I knew."
Luke admitted that the experience was "very complicated" and "very confusing".
He said: "I felt very, very isolated."
Luke Evans was raised as an only child but wished he had siblings
(Image: BBC )
Alison then asked if he had reached a "dark place", to which Luke replied with: "Oh god, yeah. My teenage years, when it was clear in my mind who I was, and I was just… I had no-one to talk to.
"It was a very difficult position, place to be. Yeah, I contemplated suicide for sure."
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He continued: "It was not a nice place to be, especially at that young age. But something stopped me."
"What do you think stopped you?" Alison asked.
"Well," he began. "I think because I thought, what am I missing out on if I do this?
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"What life have I got that I haven't discovered yet that I have to live? And I think it was, like, needing to know what my life would be like once all of this was over."
Where to get mental health help and support
Below are some of the helplines and websites that can help you:
Samaritans operates a free 24-hour phone service every day of the year. Just call 116 123 to speak to someone if you need help.
Alternatively, if you prefer to write down how you're feeling or if you're worried about being overheard on the phone, you can email Samaritans: [e-mail]
PAPYRUS offers trained advisers to provide support to young people experiencing thoughts of suicide and anyone concerned for a young person. Call HOPELINE247 on 0800 068 4141 Text: 07860 039 967 or Email: [e-mail]'
Mind is a mental health charity that provides advice and support to anyone experiencing a mental health problem.
Among its useful support and information pages, mind shares 'ways to help yourself cope in a crisis' here
In another part of the episode, the actor also spoke of the bullying he faced as a child.
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While making their way to his hometown, Luke explained that he was an only child but that he always wanted a sibling.
He said: "I did want to have a sibling because I was bullied really badly, so I always see my friends who had big brothers and big sisters in school, and they'd always look out for them, and I didn't have anyone like that.'
Luke then described the bullying as "horrible". He added: 'But I knew it would be over at some point because I was going to leave school.
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"I had absolutely no intention of staying on.
"So yeah, I left home at 16."
Luke spoke candidly about his childhood, specifically the bullying he faced and the difficulties of growing up as gay and being a member of the Jehovah's Witness community
(Image: BBC )
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When asked if he hadn't been bullied, would he have been a different person, he replied: "I probably would have been a different child.
"I would have done A-Levels and possibly have had better grades, but by the time I was like 14, 15, I was just like get me out, get me out".
He continued: "All I wanted to do was get a job."
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As they made their way through Aberbargoed, the actor agreed that it was a "nice" feeling returning to his beloved hometown in Caerphilly borough.
"I'm not somebody to hang on to the negative things that have happened to me in life," he said.
"Good memories make you feel way better than bad ones."
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A bit later, the two met up with Luke's parents, Yvonne and David, who offered Alison some Welsh cakes.
When asked what he was like as a young boy, his mum Yvonne explained he was a "full house".
She continued: "The minute he was born, and came home from the hospital, it was like 'oh!'."
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She then added: "But you were full of fun because the house was always full of friends.
"And the front room was sort of separate, and the laughter that used to come out of that room. It was wonderful, wasn't it?"
Luke then showed Alison where his old room used to be, which was now the spare bedroom.
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As the two sat on the bed and looked out through the window to the valley, Luke discussed his childhood even further.
"Were you quite an awkward kid?" Alison asked him.
"Yes, I don't think I was very comfortable in my own skin," he replied. "I was a skinny little kid too".
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He continued: "I think because I was bullied, you can start thinking you are the problem.
"And I think I definitely went through that. You know, I wasn't very confident as a kid
"The confidence came as a teenager. As soon as I left school, actually. But school was not a pleasant place".
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The actor also agreed that he faced a challenging time due to not being able to talk about the fact that he was gay.
"I didn't speak to anyone until I was 14 and I went to a psychologist because I wanted to ask them what was… - because I had no-one to talk to.
"And she offered me a 14-week course at £200 a session, at like 14. And I went, 'no, no, no, I need help today'. And she said, 'well, I can't help you'."
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Following the candid conversation with Luke, in which he spoke about contemplating suicide, Alison said: "It was definitely an emotional moment."
She continued: "Even at your darkest moments, there's still hope. You can still be okay.
"I mean, thank God that he held on, because he has brought so many people so much joy purely by just being himself."
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You can watch Alison Hammond's Big Weekend at 8.20pm on Friday evenings on BBC One or all episodes are now available on BBC iPlayer.