Rachel Stevens chats exclusively about love after divorce, handling grief and 'finding her voice'

Yahoo

19-04-2025

As a member of one of the 1990s and early noughties' most cherished pop groups, Rachel Stevens has a lot to be proud of. During her time with S Club 7, she landed two Brit awards, achieved album sales of more than 10 million worldwide and enjoyed a string of Top 5 hits.
When we catch up for an exclusive photoshoot with the singer – the day before her 47th birthday – she's in a particularly reflective mood and admits it's taken her a long time to embrace her achievements. 'I entered the public eye at an age when I really had a shaky sense of self,' she tells OK! during our exclusive photoshoot.
'At that time of life, you're at a point where you're finding yourself and finding your way. It's not easy to give ourselves credit and say we're proud of our achievements – it's quite a difficult thing to do and it's something I've spoken a lot about in my therapy. I've been told quite a lot in those sessions to give myself a break and to stop being so hard on myself.
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'So actually, now I can say that I'm really proud of myself. I think that's come with self-development and self-growth, the ability to feel that. There'll be certain poignant moments, when a song of mine comes on the radio, for instance, and the kids have such a strong reaction to it all and they're proud of me. Or when we were back on tour and got to experience the impact S Club had on those fans who are older now, but they were kids at the time – you saw what it meant to them and just realised how special it is. It's easy to forget how many things we did in our career. We really crammed a lot in.'
Since the group disbanded in 2004, it's been fairly nonstop for Rachel. She has launched clothing and make-up collaborations, was runner-up on Strictly Come Dancing in 2008, scouted for talent with Melanie Blatt on the New Zealand version of The X Factor, enjoyed a short reunion with S Club 7 and has become a mum to Amelie, 14, and Minnie, 11.
After years of learning to quieten her inner critic, the Rachel we're seeing today has a definite air of contentment – but it's clear she hasn't lost any of her star quality and she shines as the consummate professional on our set.
Her main reason for stepping back into the spotlight is the release of the paperback version of her autobiography, Finding My Voice, in which she details her struggles with self-worth and self-belief, which were often hidden behind her confident smile and the buzz around S Club's successes. As well as being older and wiser, some significant events in her life – including her divorce from Minnie and Amelie's father, Alex Bourne, in 2022 – have also been a source of reassessment and learning, she says.
'My life has changed hugely over the last few years,' says Rachel. 'With divorce, moving, selling our family home, my life has really taken a whole new direction. Being there for my kids and them being my main priority has stayed the same, but there's been a lot of change. So being organised and feeling in control, and making time to look after myself, are really important to me now. I think a lot of people, especially women and mums, can relate to the idea that we often feel we need to be everything for everyone else, and always be there for everyone else, but actually I need to fill my own cup so I can be the best mum, the best friend, whatever it is.
'Having strong boundaries is important to me now and I didn't really learn that much as a kid growing up. I think, especially as women, it can take us a long time to find our own place, own our own power and own our own story. Sometimes we look for external things to fill our cups up. But, of course, as I've got older and really learnt about my boundaries and what I value, you evolve and change and realise what's actually valuable.'
Rachel openly admits that a huge part of her self-growth and source of her finding her voice has been regular therapy. She's had the same therapist for a number of years and a result, she's become a 'sort of life coach and mother figure'.
'It's always been quite difficult for me to open up and talk. I tend to overthink a lot, so I've had to learn as I've got older that it's OK, in fact it's good to talk and to share,' she says. 'So I'm very grateful for having an outlet once a week to share and unpack some stuff with someone I trust and is my sort of constant, especially when it feels like life is going at a 100 miles an hour.'
When it comes to unwinding, Rachel's needs are simple – a relaxing bath, a glass of wine with friends or a film and a takeaway with her partner Brendyn Hatfield, 40, who is a professional ice skater. Date nights are another popular cup-filling exercise and Rachel makes sure she carves out time for one-on-one nights with both her daughters, as well as one for herself and Brendyn, who she describes to us as a 'lovely human being, a lovely soul'.
Rachel, her daughters and Brendyn recently moved into new property and she's embracing its transition from house to home. Top of the to-do list are her dressing room and family bathrooms and as a lover of interior design, she's in her element. 'We've got lots of plans to make it a home together and with the girls,' she says. 'It's quite a new build but has lots of character, which I love, so we're just getting settled.'
Spending time alone is also high on her priority list, but it's a more recent addition to her life, she explains. 'I've realised how much I actually need space and time by myself, just to slow down. It's so easy to put everything else above that, but I know how important it is to carve out that time and have the non-negotiables like date nights with the girls and for Brendyn and me.'
At 11 and 14, Minnie and Amelie are not a million miles away from the age when Rachel became famous to a generation of pop fans in the late 1990s, alongside bandmates Tina Barrett, Paul Cattermole, Hannah Spearritt, Bradley McIntosh, Jon Lee and Jo O'Meara. Twenty five years after their first success, the group promised a much-wanted dose of 90s nostalgia by announcing an anniversary reunion tour. But just a few months before the first show, Paul died suddenly from heart failure at 46, so the tour was delayed and rebranded as the Good Times Tour in his honour.
As the second anniversary of his death approaches, Rachel is now comfortable discussing her personal experience of grief. 'I think it comes in many different forms, but the thing I've learnt is to give yourself space for how you feel and to be kind to yourself about it and to talk to people,' she says. 'It was amazing to have the tour and be able to celebrate him. It gave us a chance to grieve and to grieve together as well, which was special, and share all our amazing memories of him. It was really healing.'
When we ask Rachel to describe her experience as a mum, especially while adapting to significant life changes, she tells us, 'I think navigating is a really good word to use. There's lots of navigating, lots of change and lots of new experiences. Your kids are constantly evolving and needing different things at different times and you just have to go with it.'
The girls today are like chalk and cheese, she laughs, but both 'amazing'. And with Amelie now into her teenage years, the irony of the sudden boost in hormones in the house isn't lost on her.
'It's such an interesting time, when our children are coming into their hormonal, teenage, puberty phase and then us mums are coming into our really hormonal perimenopausal phase,' she says. 'It means there's a lot of moving parts in our home and I know it sounds really clichéd, but I'm honestly just trying to be the best mum I can be at this point. Something really important I learnt in therapy is 'don't talk'. What works for us is letting the girls have a voice and space to speak. I want to give them the opportunity to express how they feel things are working – and know they have a voice and that they're heard.'
Something Rachel is especially tuned into is the messages she sends her daughters about body confidence, boundaries and values. In hindsight, she recognises that her younger self was very much 'all about the external', mainly because she grewup in the spotlight and the result has been 'a lot of unpacking of a lot of stuff' to reach a happier and healthier place.
'Growing up, it was all about looks. They became such a big part of who I was. I sort of buried everything that was going on inside and looks became such a big part of my life. Going into the job I did, it was all about the external. For me it's been about finding the right balance with it. Of course, I want to age gracefully and embrace it, but I also want to feel really great and feel really confident so I'll keep striving for whatever allows me to feel that. There will be external things I'm sure, but there'll also be lots of things to work on on the inside – that's the balance for me.'
* Finding My Voice by Rachel Stevens is out on24 April in paperback (HarperCollins, £10.99)