Husband keeps kicking wife out of their house

Boston Globe

24-02-2025

Eventually, I started working part time to pitch in financially and get out of the house. That wasn't good enough either because, according to him, I wasn't making enough money and started slacking at housework.
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These days all we do is constantly argue. He has kicked me out of our house twice. Once for a night and another time for more than a week. Luckily, my children and I could go to my parents' house.
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He and I grew up in broken homes and toxic environments, we both swore we didn't want that for our kids, but now I'm not sure what to do. I want to fight to keep my family together and my daughters to have both parents in the home. But any time we have an argument or he's stressed/tired from work, he tells me to pack my belongings and leave 'his house.'
He has anger issues and won't seek professional help or get on any medication to help. I'm positive there are other mental health issues, as well.
I'm emotionally and mentally drained by the constant fighting and being put down, but I'm trying so hard to fight for my family. Any advice?
CONFUSED AND HURT
A.
Please hear and believe me when I say you don't deserve this. Your daughters don't deserve this. I understand your desire to fight for the family you want, but one has to ask whether this man is currently capable of being a part of that kind of family.
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His behavior is not only mercurial and unfair — the work you do in the home is a more-than-full-time job, for instance — but it's emotionally abusive. Kicking you and your children out of the home whenever he's unhappy is abusive behavior.
The National Domestic Violence Hotline (
Do it for yourself. And do it so that your daughters have a stable home in which to grow and flourish, where they'll see their mother being respected and can learn to respect themselves.
Q.
My sister is a retired career US Army nurse, having reached the rank of lieutenant colonel. This status has led her to believe she's better than anyone without military cred or medical knowledge. I was in the Navy Reserve but for her this doesn't count.
Recently, she suggested that six of our family members — we three sisters and our husbands — gather to celebrate that three of them have milestone birthdays this year. We thought it was a fun idea, so we agreed on a date.
She then asked if she could invite her husband's sister, whom four of us don't know. My other sister and I said we didn't support the invitation, pointing out that the sister-in-law would change the dynamic in a negative way, noting that my sister and her husband don't even like the sister-in-law, so the invitation seems like a pity invite.
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My elder sister then put the kibosh on the event. My other sister and I still would like to have the gathering.
Any ideas on how to approach a bossy elder sibling? This isn't the first time she has co-opted an event, and we're tired of the drama.
WEARY OF IMPERIOUS SISTER
A.
You've already saved the date and made tentative plans, so there's nothing stopping you and your other sister from going ahead with the celebration. You can even tell your elder sister, 'we thought it was a great idea, and we'd hate to not get together. Please consider joining us.'
As the person who planned the event initially, she was, I suppose, within her rights to make the guest list. And you were within your rights to voice your objections. But she doesn't get to decide when and how you all gather.
If you're willing to do the work to organize it, you should go.
R. Eric Thomas can be reached at
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