Toughen up: Australians 50 years ago didn't need trigger warnings, safe spaces - they just got on with it
We use perfectly straight-forward, everyday expressions we've used all our lives that just puzzle them.
So here is my little list of what you've missed, so you won't feel quite so confused next time a Baby Boomer talks to you. Toughen up
This is one Baby Boomers are fond of throwing at Gen Z.
Usually pointing out that we never had 'safe spaces' or 'trigger warnings'.
We just got on with it!
Sometimes this expression is used in the extended form of 'toughen up buttercup'.
(That's a play on the title of an old pop song from our era called 'Build Me Up Buttercup' - back when music was still music.) You sound like a broken record
While you download all your music from some streaming service or other we had actual records. When we were young they were made of vinyl, and we watched them spinning on the turntable.
The problem was when a small scratch was made in a groove the needle would jump on the scratch, playing the same little bit over and over again.
That's why, when anyone nags, and repeats themselves, we say they sound like a broken record. Carbon Copy
At the top of your email form, just under 'To' it says 'Cc'.
That's because back in the day when we used paper all the time we had something called 'carbon paper.'
This was a thin, black sheet you could put between your top piece of paper and second one underneath - then anything you wrote (or typed) on the top one came out on the second one.
Clever, eh? And the second piece of paper was the 'carbon copy' of the first. Now you know what the 'Cc' stands for. A Kodak moment
This was an advertising slogan for the Kodak company who made both cameras and something called 'film'- a strip of celluloid on which you could take pictures.
This could be 35mm wide (or wider, if you used a cheap Box Brownie camera).
When you had used up a roll of film you took it to the chemist to be processed, turned into negatives and printed up on paper as positive images.
We couldn't just use a smart phone, then look to see how the picture turned out.
No, no, no.
We learned the patience waiting for the snaps to come back from the chemist. Dial phones
I have stood behind a couple of Gen Zers at a technology museum as they puzzled over an old black, Bakelite dial phone.
'But where are the buttons?' they asked each other, and 'what do you press?'
Well, these were real phones - where you put your finger in one of the holes in the circular dial and turned it round as far as it would go, then released it again.
That's how you dialled numbers when phones were all connected by wires. Pay phones
For those who enjoy those black and white films starring the likes of Humphrey Bogart and Lauren Bacall, there might be one scene you would never see play out in these modern times.
Younger readers might be puzzled to watch the hero dashing around the street looking for a 'pay phone'.
Why doesn't he just pull his phone out of his pocket?
Because they didn't exist - so he needed a pay phone.
In a telephone booth would be a dial phone with a coin box attached.
To make a call you needed to (a) to find a phone box, and (b) have the right coins in your pocket to make a call.
I think kids these days have got it easy, compared to the way we had it (and look for the old Humphrey Bogart movie 'The Maltese Falcon' - your life will be enriched!) Actress
This is one of those words that has been banned by the feminist movement.
But back in our day the blokes who acted were called 'actors' and the sheilas were called 'actresses'.
But we have learned not to use that latter word these days - or run the risk of being called dinosaurs who don't respect women. Rolodex
This is what we had instead of something listed as 'contacts' on a phone or laptop.
A Rolodex was a rotating card file.
The name is a combination of 'rolling' and 'index'.
It was invented in 1956 and dominated our working lives in the 1960s and 70s.
It was the salesman with the best (most comprehensive) Rolodex who made the most sales!
Nowadays your 'contacts' file can be read by any bit Trojan software that invades your devices - that couldn't happen with a Rolodex sitting on my desk! The Whole Nine Yards
This means 'the lot'.
If your Baby Boomer friend is really committed he will tell you he is going all the way on this - the whole nine yards.
Well, 'yard' might puzzle a Gen Z Aussie a bit.
But why 'nine yards'?
Why that number?
No one is certain, we just say it, because the expression has been around for a long time.
As a wordsmith I can tell you that it comes from the early 1900s and appears to spring from a (very unfunny) old joke about a judge who gave a woman nine yards of cloth to make him three shirts, but (to his horror) she made one, huge shirt using the whole nine yards! Put a sock in it
When a Baby Boomer says this to you, they are telling you to stop talking.
They are picturing you with a sock stuffed in your mouth so that they don't have to listen you any longer.
The expression actually comes from the earliest days of recorded music, when black discs were played on hand-cranked gramophones, with the sound coming out of a big bell-shaped horn on top.
It was all acoustic, so if you wanted to mute the sound you had to stuff a small item of clothing (such as a sock) into the horn. Saved by the bell
This means 'just in time' - help arrived at the very last moment.
The 'bell' referred to here is the referee's bell in a boxing match.
With timed rounds of three minutes, if a boxer was staggering and about to fall when the bell sounded he had been 'saved by the bell'.
Mind you, there is also a myth attached to this expression.
Namely that it goes back to the 1800s, when it was found that some people had been buried alive - in a deep coma that looked like death.
Supposedly they dug up some old graves and found scratches on the inside of the coffin lids. So, according to this story, coffins were fitted with a string running up to a bell above ground - so that a mistakenly buried person, upon regaining consciousness could pull the string and be 'saved by the bell'.
Complete nonsense. Never happened. But a chilling story, none the less.
That's my little list. Has it helped?
Explained a puzzle or two?
In future, please pay attention to the Baby Boomers around you.
Listen to them.
Try to understand their rich and colourful expressions.
If there is something you don't understand, just ask. They won't mind.
Kel Richards is a veteran Australian broadcaster and author whose distinguished media career includes hosting the ABC current affairs show AM and his own talkback commercial radio shows. He is also a frequent on-air contributor for Sky News Australia

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Zhu has used both Hinge and Bumble to meet and date people, and everyone in her close circle of friends is actively using dating apps too, but she still has conflicting feelings about meeting people online. 'I wasn't really thinking about meeting people online, and I was also worried about safety as well, especially for women. So I was more inclined to meet someone at uni, or through work or mutual friends,' she says. Is there hope? While Liang is still in the anti-dating app camp, he believes young people are just taking diverging approaches to dating now – and he has hope that the future of love for Gen Z is bright. 'I don't like the idea that we're not committed at all as a generation, I think it's just going two very distinct, polarised ways,' he says. 'The irony is that it's not really that casual. I think there are two ends of the spectrum now: some people are really into the idea of being married early, and some people just really want to explore.' 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The Age
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Rosters and situationships: Has Gen Z abandoned love?
Annabelle King says the Sydney dating scene 'is not for the faint-hearted'. While some of her peers are coupling up, the 27-year-old fears she is falling behind. 'I feel like I finished school, went to university, got a professional job, and then it was just like, bam, everyone else has gotten ahead, and I'm sitting here, hold on. I've got no prospects,' she says. 'I look at this timeline, and I'm turning 28 this year. I'm like, 'Well hold on, I also have a body clock to work with.' It's freaked me out so much that I'm freezing my eggs.' King's experience is not an isolated one. Ask any group of Gen Z men and women about their dating experiences and you'll hear a litany of complaints, from the struggles of meeting someone genuine online to the expense of dating in a cost-of-living crisis. Others are still studying or too focused on building their careers to even consider a romantic relationship. As a result, at a time when their parents would have been coupling up and contemplating starting a family, many in Gen Z are barely out of the dating starting gate. Is this the end of love? Relationships Australia NSW chief executive Elisabeth Shaw says the ground for Gen Z – those born between 1997 and 2012 – has shifted compared with previous generations. 'It's certainly true that a preoccupation with having a partner is not as strong ... taking your time and being a little bit more casual about a relationship is certainly more of a feature in this generation,' she says. Indeed, young people worldwide are increasingly meeting their first boyfriends or girlfriends either much later in life or not at all. Research from the US found that only 56 per cent of Gen Z adults were in a relationship at any point during their teen years, compared with 69 per cent of Millennials, 76 per cent of Gen X, and 78 per cent of Baby Boomers. Loading University of Melbourne sociologist Professor Dan Woodman says people are taking longer to establish themselves comfortably in their careers, which affects young people's dating habits. Gen Z women also have access to more work and education opportunities than earlier generations. This cohort is also taking up further education at a higher rate than their male counterparts. 'Young women are studying for longer, doing master's [degrees], trying to get some return on that investment into education in a career,' Woodman says. 'They could be well into their 30s before they feel it might be the right time to have kids, and then you've got to find the right partner. 'You don't necessarily, if you're a young woman, have a lot of men who have got their act together in their 20s to do it.' Yasmina Lin, 22, has never been in a relationship and isn't keen on pursuing one anytime soon. On top of juggling various responsibilities during her time at high school and university, her job as a radiologist means her days are hectic, so romance has been put on the backburner. 'I've always been someone who's been chasing after a goal. In my life, it's always been about getting into a good course, finishing uni and getting a good, stable job,' Lin says. 'I've just been going to uni, coming back home, or going to work. I don't really actively put myself in situations to socialise with new people,' she says. 'Right now I'm just really not ready for a relationship. I know I shouldn't be thinking this, but it feels like it's a lot of work, it feels like something that I have to commit to, on top of what I'm doing right now.' Some describe dating as an onslaught of bad luck. King says Sydney's dating scene is 'transactional', with one man repeatedly trying to sleep with her on the first date. 'I was like, I barely know you,' she says. King doesn't want to rush into a relationship for the sake of fulfilling her dream of starting a family. Because it is more important to her that she finds the right person, she has accepted this means her life might look different to the people around her for a while. 'Finding the right person and someone who will be a good father and a loyal partner to me is a massive priority, and I don't want to rush into that, and I don't want to feel pressure around that, but I also don't want to feel like I've missed the boat, because I feel like I was put on this earth to be a mum.' The UberEats of romantic relationships University student Rodger Liang is swimming against the tide when it comes to online dating and says he is 'very, very set on the organic stuff'. That is, meeting people in the real, as opposed to the virtual, world. 'I think it's almost easier,' Liang, 24, says. 'I feel like, if the timing is right, I'm more comfortable with the idea of meeting somebody organically as well. I don't need to force anything at the moment. 'There's also no level of trust [on dating apps], and I already hear enough horror stories from my friends about dating apps – really bad conversations, and just the usual where people don't show up to dates. 'Finding somebody that you like is kind of exhausting, and then for them to like you back is also a process – it's a lot.' Dr Lisa Portolan wrote her PhD on dating apps and intimacy and says that while the platforms have created the illusion of infinite choices, they are slowly chipping away at young people's ability to form real connections. 'People constantly think that love is disposable, that the grass is going to be greener, there's always going to be someone at the next swipe or online,' Portolan says. 'It creates this sense of almost like an UberEats of romantic relationships, where many people tend to tie their bonds loosely because they're prepared to have to unravel them quickly so they can move onto the next person.' More and more people are opting out. Match Group, the online dating behemoth that owns Tinder, Hinge and Bumble, saw revenue almost halve from $US3.75 billion in 2015 to $2.08 billion in 2024. For participants, Portolan says being ghosted or unmatched online, or being stood up on dates, is akin to 'death by a thousand paper cuts'. 'There were multiple different paper cuts – or microaggressions – that would happen in the online space that would add up and give them a sense of 'Well, why should I behave well in the dating app domain when I have been treated this way?'' Are Gen Z just afraid of commitment? New data from Hinge found 46 per cent of Gen Z Hinge users had avoided defining a relationship because they weren't sure how to discuss it with the person they were seeing. They were also 50 per cent more likely than Millennials (those born between 1981 and 1996) to delay responding to a match to avoid seeming over eager, even when they were interested. Demographer Mark McCrindle says this goes to the heart of a broader problem for Gen Z – the normalisation of casual, noncommittal and often short-term relationships, as young people increasingly view dating versus finding a life partner as two separate endeavours. 'If we go back a couple of generations, people dated or courted to find a life partner, and more often than not, marriage was the social institution to start a family – dating was not separated from coupling and family. Now it is.' He says language can be a powerful influence on how people view dating, too. Terms like 'situationship' and 'talking stage' reinforce a culture of casualness around relationships that did not exist for older generations. 'Almost all of those words highlight the casualisation of relationships, and sometimes the lack of respect or zealousness in a relationship,' McCrindle says. 'Language not only validates an attitude or approach, it valorises that approach. People will use those words, and it almost becomes a bragging rights term – the words in themselves are cool, witty and current, and they're used in a sense of 'Hey, this is how it is for our generation'.' Lin is wary of the casualisation trend. 'Obviously, you want to make it work. I don't want to go into a relationship half-heartedly – I want to make it last. Maybe that's another reason why I'm hesitant about getting into relationships, because I'll kind of look at a guy and think, 'is he going to be the one?',' Lin says. Online dating and abuse For some, the fear of abuse is pause for thought. Some of the ways violence occurs on dating apps includes making repeated and unwanted requests for contact or sex; sending unwanted sexually explicit texts, pictures or videos; or accessing and then distributing sexually explicit images of another without consent. But this is not always contained to the digital realm. Stephanie Zhu, a 25-year-old student from Melbourne, says she has met 'multiple disrespectful men on dating apps', including someone she met in person. 'I started talking to him when I was in China, and he was in Korea. 'I flew back to Melbourne in December, and he was like: 'Oh, I'll fly to Melbourne as well.' I thought he was joking, but he actually landed, and he made me feel like he flew all the way here just for me, so I kind of felt obligated to meet him,' Zhu said. The pair went out for dinner and drinks, but Zhu said there was no indication from their prior conversations that he expected anything more from the date. In his car, before driving her home, he touched and kissed her without her consent. 'I couldn't sense from how he was communicating that he wanted something physical from the meet-up,' she said. 'I thought it would just be dinner and that was it.' There is relatively little data available on the prevalence of assault related to dating apps in Australia, but experts and policy-makers say it is on the rise. A survey of 10,000 Australians in 2022 found almost three in four users had experienced technology-facilitated sexual abuse, while 27 per cent had experienced in-person sexual violence by somebody they met online, including incidents of sexual assault, coercion and drink spiking. Hannah Petocz, from Monash University, wrote her thesis on young women's experiences of online dating and technology-facilitated violence. Loading She found that online platforms such as dating apps 'aren't designed with victim-survivor safety in mind'. 'Rather than designing these apps for safety, they take a patchwork governance approach and use Band-Aid solutions,' Petocz says. 'This is because they're businesses, and they prioritise profit and amount of users and retaining engagement over the safety of users.' Zhu has used both Hinge and Bumble to meet and date people, and everyone in her close circle of friends is actively using dating apps too, but she still has conflicting feelings about meeting people online. 'I wasn't really thinking about meeting people online, and I was also worried about safety as well, especially for women. So I was more inclined to meet someone at uni, or through work or mutual friends,' she says. Is there hope? While Liang is still in the anti-dating app camp, he believes young people are just taking diverging approaches to dating now – and he has hope that the future of love for Gen Z is bright. 'I don't like the idea that we're not committed at all as a generation, I think it's just going two very distinct, polarised ways,' he says. 'The irony is that it's not really that casual. I think there are two ends of the spectrum now: some people are really into the idea of being married early, and some people just really want to explore.' Next month: Millennials Make the most of your health, relationships, fitness and nutrition with our Live Well newsletter. Get it in your inbox every Monday.