My secret formula to get my husband to do more housework
The feminist in me hated the thought of leveraging sex to get my husband to do something he should do anyway. But the counsellor said that the natural give and take of relationships already includes plenty of things you do simply because your partner wants or needs them. 'Besides, most of these ladies find that once things get going, they enjoy it too,' she said, plucking a crostini from a platter.
And thus my 'Friday Night Leg Over Experiment' was born.
The idea was simple: for two months I would initiate sex every Friday night, then see if that prompted him to chip in more over the weekend. I did this without informing him so I wouldn't skew the results. (If he had known I was trying to buy housework with sex, it could have led to a supply-and-demand, inflationary pricing situation that didn't bear thinking about.)
My findings turned out to be quite different from what I expected, including the impact of scheduled sex on me. Here's what happened:
Week 1
I was ready and excited for the experiment. The first Friday night, my husband seemed surprised and delighted when I turned to him for something more than the perfunctory goodnight kiss. The evening was a nice, unexpected ego boost for both of us.
Week 2
This time he initiated and I responded. After a long week for both of us, it was nothing fancy, but nice nonetheless.
Week 3
Adding sex to a to-do list, alongside scrubbing the tub and descaling the kettle, has made it feel like a chore.
Week 4
Pavlovian response seemed to have set in. We turned towards each other more from weekly habit than sexual magic. Oh well.
Week 5
After a late night with friends, we fell instantly asleep. I made up for it on Saturday morning before taking the kids out for the day. Nice enough, even though I was watching the clock a little.
Week 6
I realised with surprise that this had become a reliable weekly opportunity to reconnect. It felt like we were focussing on and caring for each other.
Week 7
It felt like we had reached an easy equilibrium. Sometimes I initiated, sometimes he did, but 'Friday nights' had become a regular part of our relationship, beneficial to both of us.
Week 8
I've stopped counting the weeks now….
The experiment has unintentionally given our 10-year-plus sex life new energy, with emotional dividends too. In a way, it's unsurprising. As relationship experts often point out, sex helps to improve intimacy in a marriage, as well as making the individuals feel better about themselves, and now, instead of waiting around for the 'perfect moment', me and my husband are creating it. Even on those evenings when I tell myself I'm not in the mood, once we've started I get into it – just like the counsellor predicted.
My fear that I might be 'buying' housework with sex has also evaporated. Which is ironic because, well, he's doing more of it. Signs were promising on the first Saturday when he took out the rubbish without my asking. That could have been a coincidence, but he was noticeably more cheerful and affectionate for days afterwards. The next weekend, he offered to run a Saturday errand with the kids so I could 'relax at home' (also known as folding and putting away laundry, but still a welcome respite).
Over the weeks, he began to reliably do his regular chores while also running one-off errands. He no longer abandoned his socks on the bedroom floor or – even more maddeningly – on top of the laundry basket and started to actually put them in it.
As he contributed more at home, I realised I could help too. I stopped making comments like, 'Did you see this mess?' or 'You do know you can put your dishes straight into the dishwasher instead of leaving them for me?' Instead, I started sharing observations like, 'Oh this bin is getting full.' And he responded by tying it off and taking it out.
Initially I went into this experiment with a single hope: to lighten my own load on the domestic front. Ultimately though, I stumbled upon a way to reset our relationship, allowing both of us to show more consideration, cooperation and care for each other, with or without the Viakal.
I never did tell my husband about the Friday Night Leg Over Experiment – although, as a clever man, he might have suspected something. 'Isn't this nice,' he remarked a few weeks in, looking round the sitting room before glancing at me with a twinkle in his eye.
Try Our AI Features
Explore what Daily8 AI can do for you:
Comments
No comments yet...
Related Articles
Daily Mail
31 minutes ago
- Daily Mail
Flight attendant claims Delta crash caused by underqualified pilot
A flight attendant on board a Delta plane that crash-landed in Canada and flipped upside down claims an inexperienced pilot is to blame for the incident in a bombshell new lawsuit. Vanessa Miles, 67, who worked for Delta's regional subsidiary Endeavor Air as a flight attendant, was traveling as a passenger on the regional aircraft to her next assignment when it crashed on February 17. Endeavor Flight 4819 a crash-landed in Toronto from Minneapolis and burst into flames after flipping over and skidding on the tarmac. Dozens were hospitalized but miraculously all 76 passengers and four crew members survived the horrific crash. Now a lawsuit filed against both Delta Air Lines and Endeavor in federal court in Michigan on Monday claims the fiery crash was caused by, 'an inexperienced and inadequately trained pilot'. Miles is seeking $75 million in damages for the injuries she allegedly suffered from the crash while 'deadheading,' meaning she was traveling as a passenger and not allowed to perform any work duties. The flight attendant was left unconscious and dangling upside down by her seatbelt following the crash, the filing states. Miles accused the airlines of a 'reckless disregard for passenger safety', in the lawsuit, asserting that the, 'accident was caused, at least in part, by [the airlines] knowingly assigning an inexperienced and inadequately trained pilot to operate the flight'. The airlines, 'cut corners on safety by rushing pilots through training programs and knowingly putting passengers at risk with inexperienced flight crew', the lawsuit states. Delta declined to comment on the pending litigation, but directed the Daily Mail to their previous statements on the Endeavor Air 4819 flight crew, insisting they are qualified and adequately trained . The unidentified captain of the plane had worked for Endeavor Air, a subsidiary of Delta, for 18 years. He has flown a total of 3,570 hours across his career and is also a training instructor. On the day of the crash, he was coming onto his first shift of the week. It was also the first flight of the day. His co-pilot, who has also not been identified, had worked with Endeavor for just over a year and had flown an estimated 1,422 hours across the span of her career. The co-pilot was on her final shift of the week. Both the captain and first officer are 'qualified and FAA certified for their positions'. Miles claimed she suffered a fractured left shoulder/scapula, traumatic brain injury with loss of consciousness, post-concussion syndrome with headaches, dizziness, and other cognitive difficulties, bilateral knee injuries, back injuries, exposure to jet fuel and toxic fumes, and psychological trauma including anxiety, depression and post-traumatic stress disorder. The court document claims to provide detail on her terrifying experience during the crash. '[Miles] was rendered temporarily unconscious while hanging upside down from her seatbelt in the inverted aircraft,' the filing said. 'Upon regaining consciousness, she found herself soaked in jet fuel and surrounded by smoke, putting her at grave risk for chemical burns, asphyxiation, and death.' Miles fell approximately six to seven feet to the ground during the evacuation because the emergency slides had not deployed, further aggravating her injuries, the complaint states. She said the plane exploded two minutes after she exited the aircraft, but claims she was forced to stand outside in the frigid weather for one hour before she was taken to the hospital, per the filing. The Daily Mail contacted Miles' attorneys for comment. In March, the Transportation Safety Board of Canada released a preliminary report detailing the current 'focus areas' of the investigation, but the information that has been garnered so far. Landing techniques offered in pilot training, as well as training for flight attendants are being probed, along with the landing gear and wing structure. Authorities are also examining cabin obstructions and impediments once inverted, as well as 'coordination in emergencies' and 'organizational and management factors.'
Daily Mail
31 minutes ago
- Daily Mail
Disney World guests rushed to hospital after boat crash
A horrific ferry boat crash at Disney World has reportedly resulted in multiple guests having to be rushed to the hospital. According to a witness, the boat was bringing families from the Magic Kingdom to the Transportation and Ticket Center on Wednesday night during a massive storm, when it suddenly 'hit something.' The Disney guest, named Larry, described the horrific scene in detail to the Daily Mail, claiming that people were 'thrown forward' as 'metal trash cans' came barreling forward onto 'little kids,' resulting in one boy getting pinned under a trash can. He recounted terrified children screaming and 'people bleeding' as they waited for EMT services to arrive. Speaking exclusively to the Daily Mail, Larry explained, 'I was leaving Magic Kingdom on Wednesday, July 30, right when they closed at 11pm.' He said that as they were waiting for the ferry it started raining 'heavily,' adding, 'It was coming down hard so we were surprised the ferry was running in the dark and pouring rain.' As they were approaching the Transportation and Ticket Center he said the boat 'hit something all of a sudden.' 'When we hit whatever we hit, everyone was thrown forward and the metal trash cans and recycling bins were thrown forward onto strollers and little kids,' he explained. 'There were little kids screaming and [I] noticed that a boy was pinned under the trash cans so [everyone] quickly lifted them up.' Footage shared exclusively with the Daily Mail by Larry of the aftermath shows hoards of terrified families huddling on the boat moments after the crash. Some are seen on the ground with screaming and crying heard in the background. He said that after the boat pulled into the dock and guests rushed off to safety 'not a word was said from the captains or Disney cast members.' 'There were furious screaming parents and all these employees were doing was saying, "You'll have to take it up with guest services when they open," or, "Call guest services,"' Larry told the Daily Mail. 'Lots of kids were shaken up and holding their parents while crying. There were people bleeding and parents sitting on the floor holding their children waiting for EMTs. It was a very chaotic site.' Tami Hackett, from Houston, Texas, was also on the ferry when it crashed, along with her daughter, her daughter's husband, and their twin three-year-old daughters. 'Suddenly we crashed into something and we all went flying forward falling,' she told the Daily Mail. 'The stroller landed on its back causing the girls to hit their heads. A lot of people screaming and really hurt bad.' She added that upon getting off the boat 'there no announcement on what to do if injured.' 'We were concerned the girls had concussions so waited on the dock for direction, none came,' she continued. 'When EMT finally got there I watched as they were just as confused with no direction from staff.' She said when they finally 'flagged down an EMT' he checked the girls and said they were OK. 'He expressed his disbelief on how the park handled the entire situation and the chaos,' she added. Several other people who claimed to be on the water vessel when the horrific incident occurred took to Reddit to share their account of what happened. They told similar stories of being 'thrown all around' and 'getting crushed by a surge of people.' 'The ferry boat from Magic Kingdom to TTC crashed while I was on it,' read the title of the Reddit post. 'Very scary scene. Happened about 11.40pm during a heavy storm,' the user wrote. 'Boat was approaching the TTC dock when the boat came to a sudden and complete stop, throwing every passenger forward.' 'I was on that ferry! It was insane. People thrown forward all around. No warning, just a loud crash and sudden stop approaching the dock,' someone else shared in the comment section. 'I think they hit the cement jetty.' 'It was scary. We were right down the front and could see it heading toward the dock and it wasn't getting any slower,' recounted another person. 'Luckily we were able to brace for impact but then got crushed by a surge of people from behind... Girl by us was quite badly injured.' 'Multiple people taken off on stretchers, many others witnessed lying on the ground waiting for medical evaluation. Dozens of people injured,' read a third comment. 'We were on it and four or five of us were injured,' shared a different person. 'It was complete chaos and the staff had no clue how to handle it. Very disappointed with Disney and how they handled this.' 'I was on that ferry with my daughter and mother on the lower deck. We fell hard and slid,' revealed someone else. 'I was Ubering [at] Disney last night, as I usually do. I had to continuously pull over for police, ambulances and fire trucks, I kept thinking, "Where's the accident?"' shared a different user. 'I finally got to TTC, picked up my passengers. They were shaking, the mom had blood dripping down her face, eye, and all over her hands. 'Her little boy was also bleeding. I finally convinced them to let me take them to the hospital. 'She was in shock and refused to let EMTs check them out before leaving. Hopefully everyone has a quick recovery.' Theme park news site WDW News Today reported that there was a 'mutual aid call at 12.02am corresponding to the address for the TTC ferryboat landing.' "Mutual Aid" in this case refers to reciprocal assistance from multiple agencies across jurisdictional boundaries, particularly when the emergency is too big for one agency to handle,' the website added. The outlet said 19 people were transported to local hospitals, 'with at least eight people having major injuries.' The Daily Mail has reached out to Disney World for comment, but did not hear back.
Daily Mail
an hour ago
- Daily Mail
Disney World guests rushed to hospital after horrific boat crash... as witnesses describe the terrifying scene
A horrific ferry boat crash at Disney World has reportedly resulted in multiple guests having to be rushed to the hospital. According to a witness, the boat was bringing families from the Magic Kingdom to the Transportation and Ticket Center on Wednesday night during a massive storm, when it suddenly 'hit something.' The Disney guest, named Larry, described the horrific scene in detail to the Daily Mail, claiming that people were 'thrown forward' as 'metal trash cans' came barreling forward onto 'little kids,' resulting in one boy getting pinned under a trash can. He recounted terrified children screaming and 'people bleeding' as they waited for EMT services to arrive. Speaking exclusively to the Daily Mail, Larry explained, 'I was leaving Magic Kingdom on Wednesday, July 30, right when they closed at 11pm.' He said that as they were waiting for the ferry it started raining 'heavily,' adding, 'It was coming down hard so we were surprised the ferry was running in the dark and pouring rain.' As they were approaching the Transportation and Ticket Center he said the boat 'hit something all of a sudden.' 'When we hit whatever we hit, everyone was thrown forward and the metal trash cans and recycling bins were thrown forward onto strollers and little kids,' he explained. 'There were little kids screaming and [I] noticed that a boy was pinned under the trash cans so [everyone] quickly lifted them up.' Footage shared exclusively with the Daily Mail by Larry of the aftermath shows hoards of terrified families huddling on the boat moments after the crash. Some are seen on the ground with screaming and crying heard in the background. He said that after the boat pulled into the dock and guests rushed off to safety 'not a word was said from the captains or Disney cast members.' 'There were furious screaming parents and all these employees were doing was saying, "You'll have to take it up with guest services when they open," or, "Call guest services,"' Larry told the Daily Mail. 'Lots of kids were shaken up and holding their parents while crying. There were people bleeding and parents sitting on the floor holding their children waiting for EMTs. It was a very chaotic site.' Tami Hackett, from Houston, Texas, was also on the ferry when it crashed, along with her daughter, her daughter's husband, and their twin three-year-old daughters. 'Suddenly we crashed into something and we all went flying forward falling,' she told the Daily Mail. 'The stroller landed on its back causing the girls to hit their heads. A lot of people screaming and really hurt bad.' She added that upon getting off the boat 'there no announcement on what to do if injured.' 'We were concerned the girls had concussions so waited on the dock for direction, none came,' she continued. 'When EMT finally got there I watched as they were just as confused with no direction from staff.' She said when they finally 'flagged down an EMT' he checked the girls and said they were OK. 'He expressed his disbelief on how the park handled the entire situation and the chaos,' she added. Several other people who claimed to be on the water vessel when the horrific incident occurred took to Reddit to share their account of what happened. They told similar stories of being 'thrown all around' and 'getting crushed by a surge of people.' 'The ferry boat from Magic Kingdom to TTC crashed while I was on it,' read the title of the Reddit post. 'Very scary scene. Happened about 11.40pm during a heavy storm,' the user wrote. 'Boat was approaching the TTC dock when the boat came to a sudden and complete stop, throwing every passenger forward.' 'I was on that ferry! It was insane. People thrown forward all around. No warning, just a loud crash and sudden stop approaching the dock,' someone else shared in the comment section. 'I think they hit the cement jetty.' 'It was scary. We were right down the front and could see it heading toward the dock and it wasn't getting any slower,' recounted another person. 'Luckily we were able to brace for impact but then got crushed by a surge of people from behind... Girl by us was quite badly injured.' 'Multiple people taken off on stretchers, many others witnessed lying on the ground waiting for medical evaluation. Dozens of people injured,' read a third comment. 'We were on it and four or five of us were injured,' shared a different person. 'It was complete chaos and the staff had no clue how to handle it. Very disappointed with Disney and how they handled this.' 'I was on that ferry with my daughter and mother on the lower deck. We fell hard and slid,' revealed someone else. 'People were piled up on top of us. My daughter was sleeping in her stroller when it happened and woke up to being thrown across the deck onto the floor! Horrible, horrible experience.' 'It was terrifying! My husband was thrown to the floor, I hit my head, and my elderly mom slammed into a wall and hurt her knee,' read another comment. 'No warning, no communication, stuck in lightning and rain for way too long. Then got zero compassion from staff after finally getting [off]. We are scared to continue our trip. What happened to the "magic," Disney?' 'I was Ubering [at] Disney last night, as I usually do. I had to continuously pull over for police, ambulances and fire trucks, I kept thinking, "Where's the accident?"' shared a different user. Several other people who claimed to be on the water vessel when the horrific incident occurred took to Reddit to share their account of what happened 'I finally got to TTC, picked up my passengers. They were shaking, the mom had blood dripping down her face, eye, and all over her hands. 'Her little boy was also bleeding. I finally convinced them to let me take them to the hospital. 'She was in shock and refused to let EMTs check them out before leaving. Hopefully everyone has a quick recovery.' Theme park news site WDW News Today reported that there was a 'mutual aid call at 12.02am corresponding to the address for the TTC ferryboat landing.' '"Mutual Aid" in this case refers to reciprocal assistance from multiple agencies across jurisdictional boundaries, particularly when the emergency is too big for one agency to handle,' the website added. The outlet said 19 people were transported to local hospitals, 'with at least eight people having major injuries.' The Daily Mail has reached out to Disney World for comment, but did not hear back.
