Our seven chickens are ruling the roost
All seven chickens we recently acquired are now laying eggs – except the one called Giovanna, which is walking with a limp thanks to our youngest child Giuseppe, who is ten. The other day, Giuseppe somehow shut Giovanna's right foot in the back door as he shooed her out of the house.
These chickens are proving portentous. I am convinced they are the catalyst, if not the reason, for why our middle daughter, Magdalena, 17, has just split up with her boyfriend Simone after three years together.
Simone, a truly brilliant pianist, is terrified of chickens, a fairly common phobia apparently, though that is not why we got them. For years we dared not do so for fear that our dog Rocco, who is a rusty-brown-coloured Vizsla – a species bred to hunt birds – would slaughter the lot on sight. But he is old now and so we bit the bullet. Their arrival, however, has set in motion a chain of events and, as with the assassination of the Archduke Franz Ferdinand in June 1914, who knows where it will all end?
We feared that even if we kept chickens locked up inside the stable, for example, it would make no difference. Rocco would just take up position outside and bark manically at them until they dropped dead from fright, as happened with two cockatiels we once had. In his desperation to kill anything with wings, I have seen him trying to behave like a cat and clamber up trees to get at birds he has spotted. Swallows dipping and diving to and from their nests in the barn would send him into a frenzy.
We used to have two more Vizslas and an ever so sweet-looking black retriever-like stray called Shiela, a present from Max the tramp, whose home was a cargo container in a nearby field. It soon became apparent why he wanted to be rid of her. Shiela was a ruthless killer. Vizslas are semi-aquatic, like otters, and the four dogs, with streetwise Shiela as pack leader, used to find ways to escape from our well-fenced land and go hunting. I once found the area outside the barn littered with the corpses of different types of duck that they must have brought back from a lake three miles away. They also managed – though it was never proven beyond reasonable doubt – to polish off a 30-strong flock of chickens belonging to a neighbour, a farmer called Dante, who thankfully did not make too much of a fuss. After all, it could have been foxes – or wolves.
The other dogs are all dead as a result of poisoning, probably from eating bits of meat laced with rat poison by local hunters, which my wife Carla is convinced they tossed over the fence on to our land in the dead of night. Certainly, it could not have been Dante, as we paid him for the chickens and I am pretty sure he is a benign presence.
Rocco has survived two poisonings, as we were able to get him to the vet in time for the vital vitamin K1 antidote jab. But he is now 13. When the chickens arrived we kept him on a lead just in case, but there was no need. Chickens are surprisingly aggressive eaters of anything, even each other, and these ones are so unfazed by Rocco that he is forced to gobble down his own food at breakneck speed as they huddle round him and peck his snout and try to steal it. Poor, poor dog. That his life should come to this: humiliated by chickens. He has started to follow me about and lie down on the floor near me in what is called my study. If I get up to go to another room, he comes too.
'Rocco's following me about like death,' I announced to Carla and our six children at dinner. 'Why me? Why not any of you?'
'Beh, ovvio, no?' replied Carla. 'He senses that you and he are in the same boat.'
Samuel Johnson and Winston Churchill both suffered from periodic bouts of serious depression, which they used to call the black dog on their back. Well, in addition to that, I also have the brown dog by my side 24/7.
Magdalena and Simone met at the music school in Forlì, a 40-minute bus ride away, which they both attend. He looks like a cross between Roger Daltrey of the Who and Jim Morrison of the Doors. And, of course, away from school, he has a band in which he plays modern stuff on keyboards and dominates the situation as the leader. Here we go, I feared. Personally, I have always found rock and pop musicians insufferable. It is not simply my envy of their ability to play an instrument so well – and thus to pull women. They are a symptom of a diseased, narcissistic society. To start with, however, I was pleasantly surprised: here for once was a musician not sick with self-worship and who was even, I dared to believe, simpatico.
But in the end, the siren call of his music proved more powerful than the allure of his girlfriend and she had had enough. It was the chief chicken, Giulia, that made me see the writing was on the wall a couple of weeks ago. Magdalena and Simone were sitting at a table in the garden behind the house with two of her girlfriends, both musicians as well, when Giovanni Maria, our 14-year-old son, crept up behind Simone with Giulia in his arms. 'Go on, stroke her!' he demanded. Simone leapt away in fear. But he was also angry. Magdalena and the other girls were burst out laughing.
Magdalena does not seem troubled by the end of the first love story of her life. I'm not sure if that is good or bad. And she has changed her WhatsApp photo from the smiling young faces of her and her boyfriend to her on a sofa cradling in her lap Giovanna, the chicken with the limp. I wonder what these chickens have got in store for us next.
Try Our AI Features
Explore what Daily8 AI can do for you:
Comments
No comments yet...
Related Articles
The Independent
a day ago
- The Independent
Madonna urges the pope to visit Gaza 'before it's too late'
Madonna has urged the pope to travel to Gaza and 'bring your light to the children before it's too late.' The superstar posted her appeal to the pontiff on social media Monday, saying her son Rocco's birthday prompted her to make the post. Rocco turned 25 Monday. Addressing Pope Leo XIV, she wrote: 'Most Holy Father. Please go to Gaza and bring your light to the children before it's too late. As a mother, I cannot bear to watch their suffering. 'The children of the world belong to everyone. You are the only one of us who cannot be denied entry," she added. "We need the humanitarian gates to be fully opened to save these innocent children. There is no more time. Please say you will go. Love, Madonna.' The singer added that she wasn't taking sides in the war. 'I am not pointing fingers, placing blame or taking sides. Everyone is suffering. Including the mothers of the hostages," she wrote. "I pray that they are released as well. I am merely trying to do what I can to keep these children from dying of starvation.' The pope recently renewed his call for an immediate ceasefire in Gaza, asking the international community to respect humanitarian laws and the obligation to protect civilians. 'I once again call for an immediate end to the barbarity of this war and for a peaceful resolution to the conflict,' the pontiff said last month. Aid workers and doctors have said that after months of Israeli blockade and turmoil in the distribution of supplies, children in Gaza with no previous conditions are starting to die from malnutrition. Israel's air and ground offensive, sparked by Hamas' Oct. 7, 2023 attack into Israel, has displaced most of the some 2 million Palestinians in Gaza and pushed the territory toward famine. The United Nations said that across Gaza, more than 5,000 children were diagnosed with malnutrition in May, though that is likely an undercount. Malnutrition was virtually nonexistent before the war. Doctors struggle to treat the children because many supplies have run out, the U.N. says. Israel denies a famine is taking place or that children are starving. It says it has supplied enough food throughout the war and accuses Hamas of causing shortages by stealing aid and trying to control food distribution.
Daily Record
2 days ago
- Daily Record
Man rescued from Scots Outlander beauty spot after becoming stranded in gorge
Rescue crews raced to the man's aid at the Devil's Pulpit, near Killearn, Stirling, where he was pulled to safety. A man had to be rescued from a Scots beauty spot, made famous after being featured in Outlander, at the weekend. Rescue crews raced to the Devil's Pulpit, in Finnich Glen, near Killearn, Stirling, on Saturday afternoon following reports of concerns for a person trapped in the gorge there. Volunteers from Lomond Mountain Rescue team (Lomond MRT) were called to the scene shortly after 3.30pm to assist with the rescue. The team rigged a system to lower one of their members into the gorge to the stranded man. The man was then placed in to a rescue harness before being hoisted back to safety. A spokesperson from Lomond MRT said: 'With no injuries, the team rigged a system to lower a team member to the casualty where they were placed in a rescue harness before being brought back to the top of the gorge. 'Many thanks to colleagues from Police Scotland Forth Valley, Scottish Ambulance Service and Scottish Fire and Rescue Service.' Police Scotland have been contacted. A Scottish Fire and Rescue Service spokesperson said: "Operations Control mobilised two appliances and a number of specialist resources to the scene. 'Crews brought the casualty to safety before being handed into the care of the Scottish Ambulance Service for precautionary checks. "Firefighters left the scene at 4.57pm after ensuring the area was safe." It comes just weeks after a dog had to be rescued after falling in to the glen there. The two-year-old female Vizsla skidded on some mud and slid down in to the glen on the morning of Monday, July 21. Fortunately, a Scottish Fire and Rescue Service (SFRS) team were conducting a training exercise nearby and quickly sprung into action. A Scottish Fire and Rescue Service spokesperson said: 'Operations Control mobilised two appliances and specialist resources to the scene to support our emergency service partners. 'The dog was safely rescued from the glen.' On that occasion, Lomond MRT dispatched seven of their volunteer team members to the scene to assist the rescue. David Dodson, of Lomond MRT, said: 'She was cold and looked a bit shocked about it all, but was otherwise well.' It's not the first time a dog has sparked a major rescue operation at the spot. In December last year, we told how a dog had a miraculous escape after plunging 100-feet into the gorge. Lomond MRT were called out after the pet dog, named Margot, suffered the fall. A spokesperson for Lomond MRT said: 'Once on scene, a rescue plan was agreed and a rigging system was quickly and efficiently organised to lower a team member down to the dog. 'The dog; Margot, was very cooperative with its rescuer, and was soon hauled back up onto the bank, where it was reunited with its owner and taken to be checked over by a vet. 'Amazingly, little Margot has only some bumps and scrapes to show for her adventures!' Margot's relieved owner Clare Denton posted: 'Thank you so much for rescuing our Margot!! You really are all amazing and we will forever be grateful to you!' Nick Denton posted: 'Thank you for rescuing our Margie. From Granny and Grandpa.' A number of rescue missions have been sparked within the Devil's Pulpit in recent years as it has continued to grown in popularity after it was featured in Outlander. The glen, renowned for its deep, red sandstone gorge, was used as the fictional St Ninian's Spring – also referred to as Liar's Spring – in the hit series. Due to the spike in its popularity, the location has seen an influx of visitors and, as a result, has seen the number of rescues there skyrocket. In April 2021, a man was rushed to hospital with serious injuries after plunging 100-feet into the gorge. The 24-year-old from the Dundee area was understood to have fallen when he attempted to snap a photograph of the glen and was treated for spinal and chest injuries. And in July 2020, a couple from Fife had to be rescued after getting stuck while taking part in 'canyoning' - a craze which can be carried out across a variety of terrain and involves scrambling, climbing, jumping, abseiling, and swimming - through the Carnock Burn which runs through the glen. They became stuck and unable to make their way out of the glen and became stranded for several hours before being rescued. In June 2017, a 55-year-old man fell 50 feet into the glen and had to be rescued and just months later, rescue teams were called to the location again when two swimmers – clad only in swimsuits – were pulled to safety after being trapped for three hours.
Spectator
23-07-2025
- Spectator
Our seven chickens are ruling the roost
Dante's Beach, Ravenna All seven chickens we recently acquired are now laying eggs – except the one called Giovanna, which is walking with a limp thanks to our youngest child Giuseppe, who is ten. The other day, Giuseppe somehow shut Giovanna's right foot in the back door as he shooed her out of the house. These chickens are proving portentous. I am convinced they are the catalyst, if not the reason, for why our middle daughter, Magdalena, 17, has just split up with her boyfriend Simone after three years together. Simone, a truly brilliant pianist, is terrified of chickens, a fairly common phobia apparently, though that is not why we got them. For years we dared not do so for fear that our dog Rocco, who is a rusty-brown-coloured Vizsla – a species bred to hunt birds – would slaughter the lot on sight. But he is old now and so we bit the bullet. Their arrival, however, has set in motion a chain of events and, as with the assassination of the Archduke Franz Ferdinand in June 1914, who knows where it will all end? We feared that even if we kept chickens locked up inside the stable, for example, it would make no difference. Rocco would just take up position outside and bark manically at them until they dropped dead from fright, as happened with two cockatiels we once had. In his desperation to kill anything with wings, I have seen him trying to behave like a cat and clamber up trees to get at birds he has spotted. Swallows dipping and diving to and from their nests in the barn would send him into a frenzy. We used to have two more Vizslas and an ever so sweet-looking black retriever-like stray called Shiela, a present from Max the tramp, whose home was a cargo container in a nearby field. It soon became apparent why he wanted to be rid of her. Shiela was a ruthless killer. Vizslas are semi-aquatic, like otters, and the four dogs, with streetwise Shiela as pack leader, used to find ways to escape from our well-fenced land and go hunting. I once found the area outside the barn littered with the corpses of different types of duck that they must have brought back from a lake three miles away. They also managed – though it was never proven beyond reasonable doubt – to polish off a 30-strong flock of chickens belonging to a neighbour, a farmer called Dante, who thankfully did not make too much of a fuss. After all, it could have been foxes – or wolves. The other dogs are all dead as a result of poisoning, probably from eating bits of meat laced with rat poison by local hunters, which my wife Carla is convinced they tossed over the fence on to our land in the dead of night. Certainly, it could not have been Dante, as we paid him for the chickens and I am pretty sure he is a benign presence. Rocco has survived two poisonings, as we were able to get him to the vet in time for the vital vitamin K1 antidote jab. But he is now 13. When the chickens arrived we kept him on a lead just in case, but there was no need. Chickens are surprisingly aggressive eaters of anything, even each other, and these ones are so unfazed by Rocco that he is forced to gobble down his own food at breakneck speed as they huddle round him and peck his snout and try to steal it. Poor, poor dog. That his life should come to this: humiliated by chickens. He has started to follow me about and lie down on the floor near me in what is called my study. If I get up to go to another room, he comes too. 'Rocco's following me about like death,' I announced to Carla and our six children at dinner. 'Why me? Why not any of you?' 'Beh, ovvio, no?' replied Carla. 'He senses that you and he are in the same boat.' Samuel Johnson and Winston Churchill both suffered from periodic bouts of serious depression, which they used to call the black dog on their back. Well, in addition to that, I also have the brown dog by my side 24/7. Magdalena and Simone met at the music school in Forlì, a 40-minute bus ride away, which they both attend. He looks like a cross between Roger Daltrey of the Who and Jim Morrison of the Doors. And, of course, away from school, he has a band in which he plays modern stuff on keyboards and dominates the situation as the leader. Here we go, I feared. Personally, I have always found rock and pop musicians insufferable. It is not simply my envy of their ability to play an instrument so well – and thus to pull women. They are a symptom of a diseased, narcissistic society. To start with, however, I was pleasantly surprised: here for once was a musician not sick with self-worship and who was even, I dared to believe, simpatico. But in the end, the siren call of his music proved more powerful than the allure of his girlfriend and she had had enough. It was the chief chicken, Giulia, that made me see the writing was on the wall a couple of weeks ago. Magdalena and Simone were sitting at a table in the garden behind the house with two of her girlfriends, both musicians as well, when Giovanni Maria, our 14-year-old son, crept up behind Simone with Giulia in his arms. 'Go on, stroke her!' he demanded. Simone leapt away in fear. But he was also angry. Magdalena and the other girls were burst out laughing. Magdalena does not seem troubled by the end of the first love story of her life. I'm not sure if that is good or bad. And she has changed her WhatsApp photo from the smiling young faces of her and her boyfriend to her on a sofa cradling in her lap Giovanna, the chicken with the limp. I wonder what these chickens have got in store for us next.
