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There's a misperception about teen dating violence in CT. ‘There is a disbelief that it can happen'

There's a misperception about teen dating violence in CT. ‘There is a disbelief that it can happen'

Yahoo13-02-2025
Teenagers across the country are experiencing high rates of dating violence, according to the U.S. Center for Disease Control and Prevention,
The CDC reports that 1 in 12 teenagers experience physical dating violence and 1 in 10 teenagers experience sexual dating violence. Females are more at risk according to the survey.
Hartford's Interval House, the state's largest domestic violence agency, is seeking to highlight this issue and will hold a press conference at Connecticut State Community College's Capital Campus in Hartford on Friday at 11:30 a.m. as February is recognized as National Teen Dating Violence Awareness Month.
Mary-Jane Foster, president and CEO of Interval House, said the biggest misconception about teen dating violence is that people don't think it's happening.
'We somehow think that our young adults are too young and too new to the world of relationships to experience abuse of any kind,' Foster said. 'It's a very big barrier and there is a disbelief that it can happen to a 12- or 13-year-old. According to a CDC study, over 80% of parents don't know that this is happening to their child but one in three children are reporting it.'
Foster said many trends parallel with adult abusive relationships, not just with physical abuse but also with cyber stalking.
'In particular with teens, there is cyber stalking and the whole technology of abuse with dozens of texts that rise to the level of stalking constantly asking, 'Where are you?' or 'Why aren't you talking to me?' 'Who are you with?' 'I don't want you to play soccer because that is time away from me' or 'I don't want you studying at the library because it takes time away from me.' There are many cases of an abusive teen is regulating and controlling another teen's life,' Foster said.
'It's prevalent. But it's important to talk about it. If we don't, it will only get worse. It's fascinating going into middle schools and high schools and teens are willing to talk to you about this,' she said. 'Even if it's not about their life, they will tell you about their friend's life. As teens begin to open up, stories come out and they are receptive and want to know what a real relationship is and what is normal.'
Foster said the best way to contend with this issue is prevention. Approximately 15.5 million children are exposed to domestic violence in the United States every year, according to the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services.
'Without intervention, two out of these young witnesses of abuse will repeat those behaviors in their own adult relationships,' Foster said. 'The only way we can manage these numbers is to work harder on prevention. This is information that needs to be out there in a consistent fashion so people can hear it more than once. Prevention has to be regular and consistent to stick because everyone deserves healthy friendships, romantic and family relationships.'
Sofia Veronesi, 20, claimed that she experienced teen dating violence for 2 1/2 years. The Bristol resident and college student said she is a proud survivor and is looking to educate and help other teenagers who may be experiencing what she went through.
Veronesi said she was a teen when she had a boyfriend, and it took her some time to realize she was being abused.
'I simply turned a cheek to because I deemed it as normal relationship behavior,' Veronesi said. 'I had nothing to compare it to. It started with me quitting my co-ed sport and then snowballed over the next 2 1/2 years into physical, mental and sexual abuse.
'My brain has seemed to block out a lot of the violent memories, but one vivid instance I remember was on my… birthday. I made plans to spend the day with him, and it quickly turned unpleasant. We began to argue. I'm not sure what about, and before I knew it, I had been struck in the face, leaving me bleeding and a mark on my forehead. I easily dismissed it as an accident and lied to my whole family that day later at my party and told them his dog had scratched me. In retrospect, there was always an excuse for his actions, and I was always somehow the one apologizing.'
Over time the mental and physical abuse escalated, she alleged. She claimed that the relationship 'altered the course of some of the most pivotal and developmental years of her life and despite having a loving family,' she was isolated and felt like she could tell no one what she had been experiencing.
In 2022, Veronesi spent a long weekend with her cousins and confided with them that she was in an unhealthy relationship and decided to end the relationship for good.
'He did not take this lightly,' Veronesi alleged. 'I had been harassed for days to share my location with him, send him pictures of who I was with, and threats of him coming to find me at night while staying on the beach. I blocked his number, but he would create anonymous numbers from a number generator app, which gave him endless communication with me. I decided to unblock his number because there was no hope of never hearing from him again.'
She arrived back at home at 8 a.m. the next morning and claimed that she woke up an hour later with her boyfriend hovering over her.
'He was furious with me; I could see it in his eyes,' Veronesi alleged. 'He accused me of cheating and ripped my phone from my hands. I was helpless. He began to plead with me, 'How could you do this to me?' I begged him to leave. Before I knew it, I was struck in the face once again. I demanded he leave, and I ripped my phone from him. I ran into my bathroom and screamed for help from my parents despite being home alone with him. He attacked me again, this time pushing me into a windowsill and leaving me concussed, covered in broken glass. He fled the house after that, and I sat there in tears, knowing what I had to do.'
Left trembling with fear and begging for her family to come home immediately, Veronesi said she didn't want to call the police to admit to the severity of the circumstance to herself, but she ultimately did. Her boyfriend was arrested later that day and faced three felony charges.
'Unfortunately, I waited for the worst, but it almost felt inevitable,' Veronesi said. 'I had finally gotten the courage to leave, and this was what I had been fearing would happen. I am truly blessed to be where I am, but all women in this situation should know they don't have to wait for the worst to escape. There are resources out there to protect you from your abusers, despite how alone you may feel.'
Veronesi said during her unhealthy relationship she had lost all of her friends and felt cut off from the norms of healthy relationships.
'I associated and downplayed my ex-boyfriend's abusive behavior with anger issues initially until, evidently, more than just anger. I had friends shame me because of my relationship and made fun of me for being abused rather than help me,' she said.
Over the last two years, Veronesi has spoken at multiple occasions on behalf of the Interval House, telling her story.
'Being a survivor is rooted in everything I do and stand for,' Veronesi said. 'While sometimes it is hard to think of the experiences I endured, they have made me a resilient, confident and grateful human. One who is proud to simply be alive because there were moments when I feared for my life. Being a survivor is even rooted in my studies as a college student. I am dedicated to finding work in legislation to mandate teen dating violence prevention into educational methods in middle and high schools.
'I am proud to say I have built myself into a stronger woman than I ever was before and have used the experience to be an advocate rather than still live in fear,' Veronesi said. 'Lastly, I would like to tell the women or girls out there that love should not hurt. No individual should ever have you in a situation where your life is no longer your own. You are brave, and there are ways to get out that will protect you. You are loved, and you are capable of having the life you deserve,' she concluded.
National non-profit organization One Love Foundation, based in Baltimore, Maryland, has a 'goal of ending relationship abuse. We empower young people with the tools and resources they need to see the signs of healthy and unhealthy relationships and bring life-saving prevention education to their communities.'
The foundation was created to honor the tragic death of University of Virginia lacrosse player Yeardley Love, who was killed by her ex-boyfriend on May 3, 2010 just three weeks before graduating from college.
One Love Foundation has a free educational website on teen dating violence with a curriculum as well as an activity and film-based workshops.
'Knowledge is power,' said One Love Foundation CEO Julie Myers. 'So, if people understand what our kids are juggling and what they're trying to manage before they really have the tools or experience to manage a whole lot of them. Just keeping the parents in the loop and the trusted adults in the loop — it can be really lifesaving.'
Myers said national statistics are trending in the wrong direction as far as teen dating violence.
'I do think a lot of people have started to understand what an unhealthy or an abusive relationship looks like,' Myers said. 'I think people are slowly talking about it a little bit more often. When you look at the national stats and police reports, you realize that almost 90% of those killed through domestic violence are women. It is a huge public health issue for women in particular, although it is affecting more and more men and transgender, LGBTQ, really people everywhere. The trends are not going in our favor. I think a lot more awareness has to happen, a lot more education.'
February was declared the month as National Teen Dating Violence Awareness Month in 2011, and Myers said raising awareness is critical.
'There are 1.4 million high school students every year that are dealing with teen dating violence and only 33% of those teens actually told anybody about the abuse. We are just looking to normalize it and giving it language so people can say that this is happening to me, this is what I'm feeling or experiencing so that people know how to get help,' Myers said.
'Most of the abuse happens between ages 16 and 24. I know we're teaching our kids how to drive, and we're hoping that they make varsity and that they become All-Americans and go to college. What we need to be doing is asking about their friendships and their relationships and what it is that makes them happy and what is it and what they enjoy doing and what behaviors they value the most,' Myers said.
Myers said trusted adults like parents, coaches and teachers need to recognize that kids may need some help here and there and the best way to help is consistently check in and show compassion.
Social media and technology have added newer aspects to this abuse in recent years and teens need to put guardrails and boundaries.
'There's also the pressure of kids feeling like they need to reply right away to their partner and if they wait two minutes, is that going to cause a problem? These kids are kind of holding onto their significant others for almost 24 hours a day unless they have boundaries around their cell phone and set that expectation of 'Hey, between 10 p.m. and 6 a.m. I'm not on my phone, so please don't look for me to get right back to you.' You know, there's the whole following of (phone) locations that can be great in some moments but can be really problematic pretty quickly in other moments. It's having the conversation of, 'Hey tonight I know you want to make sure I made it home I think you share my location tonight but tomorrow I'm going to turn it off, but thanks for your concern tonight,'' Myers said.
'These are topics you wouldn't have to think of years ago and now these kids have to contend with it is not easy. They don't want to hurt anyone's feelings and it's really flattering when somebody wants your attention all the time. So really, it's helping kids understand that that could also lead to an intensity and a possessiveness that becomes really unhealthy,' she added.
Dr. G. Duncan Harris, CEO of Capital Community College, is a member of Men Make a Difference Advocates for Healthy Relationships, an organization founded by Interval House and U.S. Sen. Richard Blumenthal in 2019. He said that while 72% percent of the school's students are female, and while domestic violence affects males and females, it disproportionately impacts women 'and many of our students have been impacted.'
'We have to keep informing the youth about this topic,' Harris said. 'We want to do our part in slowing down the shocking amount of domestic violence that is happening. Young men have mothers, sisters, grandmothers, aunts and friends that are impacted. We need to educate them on this topic as well.'
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Volunteers, friends vow to carry on work of late Chicago LGBTQ+ activist: ‘We're her legacy'
Volunteers, friends vow to carry on work of late Chicago LGBTQ+ activist: ‘We're her legacy'

Chicago Tribune

time2 days ago

  • Chicago Tribune

Volunteers, friends vow to carry on work of late Chicago LGBTQ+ activist: ‘We're her legacy'

Bobby Foster sobbed all day Monday, but there wasn't a doubt in his mind that he'd be back to work the following morning. He has to go on, he said, no matter what. 'If we have to do it with tears coming out our eyes, we gotta do it,' Foster, 57, said. Tuesday marked Foster's first volunteer shift at GroceryLand, the long-running Edgewater food pantry for HIV-positive people, without the pantry's steadfast linchpin, Lori Cannon. A fixture of LGBTQ+ activism in Chicago and the driving force behind GroceryLand, Cannon died at home Aug. 3 of heart failure, a close friend told the Tribune. She was 74. Less than 48 hours later, the doors of GroceryLand's 5543 N. Broadway brick-and-mortar stood open, as grieving volunteers returned to do what they had for years done side by side with Cannon: serve the community. They wouldn't have had it any other way, the volunteers said, as they vowed to carry on Cannon's legacy. 'This was her dream,' Foster said. 'This was her goal.' Born in Ravenswood and raised in West Rogers Park, Cannon established what would ultimately become GroceryLand 37 years ago amid the AIDS epidemic of the 1980s. Eleven years after AIDS was first reported in the United States, it was the leading cause of death for U.S. men ages 25 to 44. HIV disproportionally affects people in vulnerable populations that are often highly marginalized, stigmatized and criminalized, including the LGBTQ+ community, racial and ethnic minorities, women and girls, drug users and sex workers, according to the World Health Organization. 'I didn't understand what was happening,' Cannon told the Tribune in 2004 of the epidemic. 'But I knew I didn't like it. The horror, the heartbreak we experienced … and no one was paying attention.' Cannon turned to organizing, becoming an early volunteer for Chicago House, which provides a range of services for people and families affected by HIV, and helped launch the city's local chapter of the national AIDS Coalition to Unleash Power, according to the Chicago LGBT Hall of Fame. In 1988, Cannon co-founded Open Hand Chicago to deliver meals to people with AIDS. Six years later, Open Hand expanded to food pantries where clients could shop for their own free load of groceries, with the idea that they'd come away feeling more empowered in the process. GroceryLand was born. Over time, the operation evolved, being renamed Vital Bridges in 2001 and 10 years later, becoming an arm of Heartland Alliance Health, whose parent organization split apart last year amid financial turmoil. In February, Heartland Alliance Health itself was on the brink of closure before receiving a multimillion-dollar donation that saved the organization from shutting down. Still, through it all, GroceryLand remained, with Cannon at the helm. 'Lori Cannon was a true ally in Illinois from her organizing days to founding Open Hand Chicago — she led the way with chutzpah and humor,' Gov. JB Pritzker wrote in a statement to social media recently. That tenacity was palpable Tuesday, living on through the GroceryLand volunteers and clients Cannon leaves behind. 'We don't know what tomorrow's going to bring or how it's going to turn out,' Foster said as he wiped his eyes, his voice wavering. Foster initially came to the organization as a client when it was still known as Open Hand, after he contracted HIV at 20 years old. From Florida, he fell in love with Chicago from the moment he saw 'two guys walking down the street holding hands … and it seemed normal to them,' he said. Cannon gave Foster the 'guidance of the mother that I never had,' he said, sitting in GroceryLand's reception area as clients filtered in and out with canned goods, grains and vegetables in hand. All around, pride flags lined the pantry's walls while overhead, a doll resembling Cannon hung from angel wings, though the effigy had been part of the pantry's decor long before Cannon died as a standing homage to GroceryLand's 'guardian angel,' volunteers said. 'Will it be the same?' Foster said. 'Will we have the same support from the community? She knew so many people. She had so many connections. … Only time will tell. (But) the need is there.' Chicago artist David Lee Csicsko said he'll be a part of GroceryLand 'until I'm gone.' For more than 30 years, Csicsko has produced artwork for the pantry to liven the space and turn it into somewhere for not only 'nourishing your body but your mind and your soul and your heart,' he said. 'The constant thing was just making something that makes people smile.' That was important to Cannon, who exuded kindness and humor and knew every client that walked through the door by first name, Csicsko said. Today, GroceryLand, with the help of some 30 volunteers, serves a few hundred regular clients, volunteer Maria Mavraganes said. Mavraganes, 60, met Cannon when she was 16 years old, after she and her family, who had owned a restaurant in Lakeview for years, became involved in advocacy efforts early on in the AIDS epidemic, she said. When she retired four years ago, Mavraganes said she formally joined GroceryLand so she could volunteer 'for the community that gave so much to me and my family,' an opportunity she owed to Cannon. 'It's because of Lori and on Lori's behalf that we're all here.' she said. When client Frank Frasier took a bad fall last year and tore a tendon in his leg, it was Cannon who kept in touch and ensured he'd still receive his groceries, he said. A friend introduced Frasier, a longtime survivor of HIV, to GroceryLand seven years ago, and he's been a client, as well as a part-time volunteer, since. Cannon had this ability to 'make you feel like you're the most important person in the world,' said Frasier, who lived in Edgewater for 24 years but now lives in the suburbs. 'She never turned anybody away. Never. Whether it was a day's worth of food or a week's worth of food or whatever, even if they weren't a client, she didn't turn them away.' Frasier said it was always Cannon's hope that someday, GroceryLand wouldn't be necessary anymore. He referenced a 2016 article by the former hyperlocal news website DNAinfo Chicago, in which Cannon was quoted as saying, 'I hope to hang up the shingle on my front door that says, 'We're going fishing, we're closing our doors, the need is not there, it's been a pleasure serving you all.'' Frasier said that dream still stands. 'I don't want (her legacy) to be a dusty plaque someplace. I want it to keep living and breathing. … We're her legacy. The people here,' he paused, choking up, 'are her legacy. Clients, the people working.' Cannon's 'unwavering commitment to nourishing both bodies and spirits made Vital Bridges a lifeline for thousands,' Tamashiro continued, adding: 'We are profoundly grateful for (her) decades of leadership and love.' Tamashiro said Heartland Alliance Health is 'taking time to thoughtfully consider next steps for GroceryLand, ensuring that any decisions reflect the care, community and values Lori brought to her work every day.' Longtime Chicago performer Angelique Munro, who knew Cannon for 16 years, said the focus among Cannon's close network is 'the future of GroceryLand and the LGBTQ+ community' especially amid today's political climate. Heartland Alliance Health, which relies on federal funding for an estimated 20% to 30% of its annual budget, has been closely monitoring 'proposed changes to federal funding with concern,' Tamashiro said, though he added that the organization is 'on strong financial footing' and 'well-positioned' to continue delivering care. For the past 15 years, Munro, 55, has held an annual Thanksgiving food drive for GroceryLand to ensure that clients could take home a holiday meal. She plans to keep the tradition going this fall. Cannon was like a mother to Munro, whose own mother died in 2006, she said. Losing Cannon has 'shattered' her, but 'we just have to continue on,' she said, 'because that's what she would want. … It's all about honoring her and keeping her memory alive.' On that Tuesday afternoon, Derrick Fox walked towards GroceryLand with a black suitcase rolling behind him on the sidewalk. 'Are they servicing today?' the 63-year-old asked. Fox, of Englewood, met Cannon when GroceryLand opened and is 'living witness to what (the pantry) has done for us by way of Lori,' he said. 'I'm a longtime survivor,' he said. 'And I'm a longtime survivor because of her.'

AdaptHealth Corp. Partners With a Major National Healthcare System to Become the Exclusive Provider of Home Medical Equipment
AdaptHealth Corp. Partners With a Major National Healthcare System to Become the Exclusive Provider of Home Medical Equipment

Business Wire

time7 days ago

  • Business Wire

AdaptHealth Corp. Partners With a Major National Healthcare System to Become the Exclusive Provider of Home Medical Equipment

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Answering your questions about underused menopause therapies
Answering your questions about underused menopause therapies

Washington Post

time31-07-2025

  • Washington Post

Answering your questions about underused menopause therapies

You're reading The Checkup With Dr. Wen, a newsletter on how to navigate medical and public health challenges. Click here to get the full newsletter in your inbox, including answers to reader questions and a summary of new scientific research. I heard from many readers with questions about my column this week, which discussed underutilized hormone therapies for menopause, especially low-dose vaginal formulations that can treat a common condition, genitourinary syndrome of menopause (GSM). This newsletter is focused on answering them. A number of women shared that they didn't know GSM existed; they just assumed symptoms like vaginal dryness and pain and bleeding during sex were an expected part of aging. Some experienced significant complications themselves. Mary from Wisconsin, for instance, wrote that she suffered recurrent bladder infections for years before a menopause specialist diagnosed her with GSM. The most common question I received was when it was too late to start treatment. As Sarah from Virginia wrote, 'I read your article and then looked up GSM on the internet. I have all the symptoms. But I'm old — 68. I hit menopause when I was in my 40s. If I can't use hormone therapy, what options do I have?' Sarah's question highlights why it is so crucial to separate systemic therapy, intended to increase hormone levels throughout the body, and low-dose vaginal therapy, which introduces only minimal estrogen into the bloodstream. The window to begin systemic therapy is typically within 10 years of the start of menopause (defined as a woman experiencing 12 months without menstrual periods) or before age 60. But no such time limit exists for low-dose vaginal estrogen. Physician and Harvard professor JoAnn E. Manson told me that women no longer eligible for systemic therapy may still experience significant relief with low-dose vaginal estrogen. She also emphasized that though hot flashes, night sweats and other symptoms treated by systemic therapies usually subside over time, GSM is a progressive condition that worsens without treatment. Several readers also asked how long they would need to use low-dose vaginal estrogen. University of Virginia OB/GYN JoAnn Pinkerton explained that most women require ongoing treatment. She tells her patients new therapeutic options may emerge in the future, but for now, 'if you stop therapy, you are going to see a reversal of the benefits, and you may very well go back to having the same symptoms.' One aspect that could change over time is the method of application. She advises patients to begin by using estrogen intravaginally. 'If women are older, and they are no longer interested in having vaginal sexual activity, I may transition to what's called topical estrogen, where we just put it around the vaginal opening, push a little bit in, and we still seem to get that benefit [of reduced infections], and it's a little bit easier for women to use,' she said. Pinkerton also addressed a question from Ellen from Vermont, about whether cancer survivors like her can use these treatments. In Pinkerton's experience, women who have had breast cancer are frightened to use anything containing estrogen. Yet there isn't evidence linking low-dose vaginal estrogen therapy and breast cancer. A meta-analysis published in the American Journal of Obstetrics & Gynecology in March found no increase in breast cancer recurrence or mortality among women with a history of breast cancer who used vaginal estrogen. Instead of deterring all cancer survivors from hormone treatments, she thinks a better approach is to for patients to work with gynecologists and oncologists to tailor the treatment approach. Right after cancer treatment, Pinkerton said, 'we might try vaginal moisturizers and lubricants. … But at some point, if they are having progressive symptoms, [low-dose vaginal estrogen] can be considered.' 'It seems there is a total 180-degree change in our thinking around hormone therapy,' wrote Jennifer from Maine. 'Twenty years ago, menopausal women were told to stop taking estrogen. Now, has the pendulum swung so much that women are pushed to take hormones, even if we don't have symptoms?' I think we are in the midst of a long-overdue reckoning. The misinterpreted 2002 Women's Health Initiative study unnecessarily dissuaded many women from using hormone therapy who could have potentially benefited from it. That said, it's imperative for scientific evidence to guide who should — and shouldn't — use it. Importantly, neither low-dose vaginal estrogen nor systemic hormone therapy are recommended for women without menopause symptoms. Multiple studies link systemic hormone therapy to fewer heart attacks, prevention of bone loss and lower mortality, but, as Manson explained, 'the evidence has been inconsistent.' Pinkerton tells her patients that systemic hormone therapy can relieve hot flashes, improve sleep and stabilize mood, with possible added benefits for cardiovascular, bone and brain health. But using it solely for disease prevention is another matter entirely, and the bar for evidence must be set much higher. Correcting outdated information does not mean recommending hormone therapy to every woman. Rather, women must receive accurate information and be able to access treatments so they can make informed choices throughout their life transitions. Have you been diagnosed with GSM and wish to share your story? I'd love to hear from you and to feature your comments and questions in a future edition of The Checkup.

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