Time poverty: When time becomes the third wheel in love
The post-pandemic world has been really harsh, tbh. Too much hustle, too much catching up—it sometimes feels like 24 hours is just not enough. Do we feel stuck sometimes? Maybe. But are we trying to keep up? Yes. Time poverty is quietly reshaping the way we love, date, and stay connected.What exactly is time poverty?Time poverty is not about just having a packed calendar, it's about not having enough discretionary time. Time to rest. To breathe. To be with someone without multitasking in your head. And it's not just about the professional work that should be taken into consideration, it's also the other chores that take up most of the time.advertisementAnd just in case you thought it's still in the mind, we have data to back it up.According to India's 2024 Time Use Survey, the time gap in unpaid domestic work between men and women is massive. Women aged 15–59 spend over five hours a day on unpaid household chores. Men? Just under an hour and a half. That's over three extra hours of invisible work women carry daily, on top of jobs, childcare, and everything else.It gets heavier when caregiving is involved. Whether it's for kids, elderly parents, or relatives with special needs, women typically shoulder the load here too, clocking significantly more hours than men. And that imbalance? It doesn't just eat into 'me time,' it gnaws away at 'us time.'Post-pandemic, priorities got a makeoverThe pandemic absolutely reset how we led our lives. People started noticing gaps: in communication, in emotional connection, in how much time was spent being with someone versus being present with them.In this post-pandemic, hyper-scheduled world, couples are shifting gears. Many aren't chasing endless 'together time' any more. Instead, it's about choosing time deliberately, which means even if the time spent is little, it should be qualitative. If the time spent together is just 20 minutes, it should feel more fulfilling and meaningful than an entire weekend spent 'hanging out.'advertisementThat's how relationships are evolving due to time poverty.'Before the pandemic, schedules focused on fitting everything in. Now, couples make deliberate choices about how they spend time together,' says psychotherapist and founder-director of Gateway of Healing, Dr. Chandni Tugnait.Time debt is real (and emotional math is exhausting)One partner's busier schedule can quietly start a ledger system—'I made time, why didn't you?' Over time, this 'time debt' builds resentment. It's not always about who's busier; it's about who's prioritising whom. This is where intentional conversations around time equity become vital.The new dating hierarchyIn a world where time is the rarest commodity, even attraction patterns are changing. It's not just about looks or interests anymore—schedule compatibility has entered the chat.'Someone with flexible working hours or similar time availability may now seem more attractive than someone with opposing schedules,' notes Dr. Tugnait. It's changing how we evaluate long-term potential, because what good is chemistry if you can't find time to meet?How do you deal with it?With busy lives becoming the norm, efficiency is the new romance.The romance of running errands – Couples are also getting creative—turning grocery runs, laundry folding, or even gym sessions into bonding time. It's a practical form of romance that says: 'I want to be with you, even if we're just checking off lists.'advertisementScarcity = Value – Interestingly, the less time couples have, the more they seem to value each other. 'Thank you for making time' is becoming as intimate as 'I love you.' Little things like eye contact, shared silences, checking in, carry more emotional weight now.Tech boundaries – As work and home lives bleed into one, successful couples are creating rituals that protect their space. 'Specific tech-free times and connection rituals are helping couples maintain relationship quality,' says Dr. Tugnait.Making scarcity countThis may seem like a bad dream - no time for the one person you love. However, change is the constant and we ought to live with it.Scarcity has made people value what they do get. 'When minutes together become precious, people have a heightened appreciation for their partner's presence,' says Dr. Tugnait. We're seeing more gratitude, more verbal acknowledgment, more conscious effort to protect that shared space.At the end of the day, love is adapting. It's not always candlelit dinners and weekend getaways—it's often quick check-ins, shared chores, and choosing presence over perfection.Because in the age of time poverty, love isn't about having all the time in the world, it's about making the time you do have matter.Must Watch
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