‘Parents Need Support, Not Money And Gifts': Banker's Advice To NRIs
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A banker and author living in Singapore recently asked NRIs to find someone to take care of their ageing parents if they live alone.
Many Non-Resident Indians (NRIs) live abroad while their parents stay alone in India. They work hard to give their children a good life in a new country but leave their elderly parents without much help. A banker and author living in Singapore recently spoke about this problem. He asked NRIs to find someone to take care of their parents if they live alone. He also shared that it's important to visit parents at least once every two years. According to the author, parents over 75 years old start facing many health problems and those above 80 may need full support for daily tasks.
Taking to X (Formerly Twitter), the banker wrote, 'Stop at some logical point and get back here to India. If not, arrange a caretaker for your parents who live alone in India. In case they don't agree, accommodate them in an elder care facility. Visit them atleast once in two years. When your parents turn 75 they begin to deteriorate. 80+ aged parents are so frail that they can't do anything on their own. I interact with many such NRI parents daily and am writing from what I see."
'There is enough material for three full-fledged novels. You may be arranging Periyava Mandalis or Brahmotsavams in the USA, but the real gods that brought you to this world are languishing. Your dollars are less worthy than the adult diapers that your parents struggle to wear by themselves.," he added.
A note to NRIs, esp Tambrahms.Stop at some logical point and get back here to India.If not, arrange a caretaker for your parents who live alone in India. In case they don't agree, accommodate them in an elder care facility. Visit them atleast once in two years. When your…— Amaruvi Devanathan (@amaruvi) June 8, 2025
'30 years of experience. Every attempt to arrange a caretaker was successfully sabotaged by my parents. Tried to live in, live out, cook, informal. They all quit. Past hires don't even talk to me anymore. Left with the maid, part-time driver, on-demand nurse and WFR plan is always active. A care home can never match the lifestyle, social circle and freedom they enjoy now," a comment read.
An individual stated, 'Thanks, but my parents are happier with their domestic help/drivers and the business they do even in their 70s. Different families, different circumstances. Hope the parents who miss their grandkids get to see them soon."
One more added, 'I have known some NRIs who left in the '70s or '80s and raised their children in the West and now their children live separately. They desperately look for relatives who can come and stay with them, have a daily wage job and help them regularly."
In a past interview with the Times of India, Dr Ranjive Mahajan, a senior psychiatrist at DMCH, spoke about PICA, which stands for Parents in India, Children Abroad. He said this is a problem seen mostly in NRI families. When children move abroad, their parents who stay behind often feel lonely, sad and unwanted. Earlier, sending children overseas was more common in villages, but now it happens in cities too. Mahajan added that sometimes, parents who were taken abroad by their children come back to India after they're used only to look after grandchildren.
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