Love hurts: How one couple spent $11K — and found a pricier solution to save their relationship

Yahoo

31-01-2025

Every relationship has its highs and lows, and for many couples, therapy becomes the last stop before a breakup.
For Angelina and Michael, their seven-year relationship was "on life support" as they struggled with the pressures of quarantine while living in a 600-square-foot apartment.
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Instead of calling it quits, they committed four years to therapy — spending nearly $11,000 in the process — only to realize that it was just the first investment in saving their relationship. The turning point came when they decided to upgrade to a larger apartment. For Angelina, the extra cost was worth it.
'We gained enough space to vent about one another on private phone calls and hide out from each other's friends,' Angelina wrote in a personal essay for The Cut.
While they don't regret the money they poured into their relationship, they acknowledge that investing in love — both emotionally and financially — isn't always easy. Self-help books and therapists often encourage couples to invest in their relationship before walking away, but for many, that simply isn't an option.
Moving into a two-floor apartment — with a kitchen that would make It's Complicated director Nancy Meyers jealous — felt like both a dream and a financial gut punch for Angelina and Michael. Their rent increased by $2,000. Michael saw it as a necessary investment, but Angelina wrestled with guilt, often feeling ashamed of the cost and quick to justify it to guests.
Not every couple can fix their relationship with a bigger apartment and a tech salary like Michael's. Financial strain remains one of the strongest predictors of divorce. According to Duke University Press, wealthier couples in the U.S. are less likely to separate. Money strengthens a marriage in two key ways: by reducing financial stress and by acting as a social marker, signaling that a couple meets conventional standards for stability.
For Angelina and Michael, financial security helped ease tensions in their relationship. For example, Angelina started spending more on dining out.
'Two years ago, that figure would have made my stomach liquefy. Thirty-six dollars for pasta? But once I started to see the benefits of these indulgences, I felt less anxious,' she wrote.
So while financial stability doesn't guarantee a lasting marriage, it does buy breathing room.
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Angelina and Michael spent thousands on therapy and other efforts to repair their relationship.
'We've spent more than $10,000 just to make sure we leave the couch,' Angelina wrote.
But not every couple needs to break the bank to make things work. Building a strong partnership isn't about how much you spend — it's about how much effort you put in.
For some, that means prioritizing simple, meaningful moments together, like taking daily walks or setting aside time to reconnect. For others, financial transparency is key. Some experts suggest that merging finances can help couples align their goals and strengthen their commitment.
'Every couple should have joint accounts, joint priorities, joint rich life vision and also you have your own money set aside for safety, security, for spending on the things you but only you love,' Money for Couples author Ramit Sethi told Moneywise.
Research backs this up. A study in the Journal of Consumer Research found that couples who combine their bank accounts are more likely to maintain relationship quality in the first two years of marriage.
At the core of any lasting relationship isn't how much money you spend but how much effort you're willing to invest. And fortunately, that kind of investment doesn't have to cost a dime.
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This article provides information only and should not be construed as advice. It is provided without warranty of any kind.