Swollen breasts, rounded tummy… being pregnant makes me feel hornier than EVER – do I have a kink?
DEAR DEIDRE: MY rounded stomach and enlarged breasts make me feel hornier than ever and whenever I'm pregnant, I can't get enough of my boyfriend.
We've had three children in quick succession and I'm itching to get pregnant again but he is doing his best to avoid me in the bedroom.
At first he loved the fact I was insatiable. We went from having sex around twice a month to at least twice a day once those pregnancy hormones kicked in.
I'd never experienced anything like it and really enjoyed feeling so incredible. When I'm pregnant, all he needs to do is look at me and I'll be tearing off his clothes.
Whenever I'm expecting, I make sure we have sex before we get out of bed in the morning - even a quickie will tide me over.
He used to say that my high sex drive makes him feel so good, invincible even.
He lapped up my higher libido when I was pregnant with our first, the second time he was happy enough to go along with my requests, but by my third pregnancy I could see he was flagging.
Whenever I hint that I like to start having 'baby sex' again, he looks horrified.
Every time I try to make a move on him, he either has a bad back, feels knackered, or he hops out of bed making up excuses that he can hear one of the children.
I'd love to have at least one more baby - to have those curves and sensitive nipples for a last time - but I'm getting the distinct impression he is avoiding it.
Last night I started stroking his back and he snapped at me saying my pregnant fetish was off putting.
After snarling that I needed to give it a rest he stropped off to the spare room.
I feel so rejected. Have I got a fetish? I never thought of it like that.
Dear Deidre on relationships, jealousy and envy
DEIDRE SAYS: It isn't uncommon for women to have an increase in sexual desire when they are pregnant.
As you rightly say, it's the increased levels of oestrogen and progesterone that are responsible for intensifying your sexual desire.
Pregnancy also brings an increase in blood flow, in particular to the pelvic area, which can accentuate arousal.
Add to that the physical changes that come with pregnancy, like engorged breasts and many women feel like they have a one track mind - full of sexual desires only.
Your boyfriend is avoiding intimacy with you and you don't understand why. So it's definitely time to talk to him about how he's feeling.
He may be worried about having a fourth child from an energy level or financial perspective.
You have three young children already and it's very common for couples to feel distanced from each other as they prioritise their children's needs.
So make sure you are making quality time for each other - time to properly talk and find out what is going on in each other's lives.
Fetishes might sound like an extreme label, but many people have them and a pregnancy fetish is common.
All it means is that you really enjoy sex while pregnant which is nothing to be ashamed of.
My support pack Kinks And Fetishes explains more.
Dear Deidre's Pregnancy Problems
Deidre's mailbag is bursting with pregnancy predicaments.
One woman is expecting a baby with her ex while still sleeping with her husband.
Another man got his girlfriend pregnant after a threesome and now wonders if the baby is even his.
And one reader fears she's just a rebound after falling pregnant by a new boyfriend who still has feelings for the mother of his other child.
PREGNANCY AND DESIRE: A CLOSER LOOK
A pregnancy fetish — also known as maiesiophilia — involves sexual attraction to someone who is pregnant, or to the idea of pregnancy itself. Like many kinks, it varies widely from person to person.
For some, the appeal is physical: the shape of the body, fuller breasts, or the natural glow associated with pregnancy. For others, it's more psychological — linked to ideas of fertility, vulnerability, or dominance and possession.
In heterosexual dynamics, it can be about impregnation — the act of 'breeding' someone — which ties into power and fantasy. In other cases, the pregnancy itself is not the goal, but a symbol: of transformation, femininity, or taboo.
Pregnancy content is increasingly visible on adult platforms, and some performers cater specifically to this fetish — posting photos or videos while visibly pregnant, or roleplaying pregnancy scenarios using prosthetics.
Like many fetishes, it becomes problematic only when it crosses the line into non-consensual behaviour.
Fetishising a stranger's pregnancy without consent — especially in public — can feel invasive or objectifying. It's essential to approach these desires with empathy, boundaries and open communication.
Ask me and my counsellors anything
Every problem get a personal and private reply from one of my trained counsellors within one working day.
Sally Land is the Dear Deidre Agony Aunt. She achieved a distinction in the Certificate in Humanistic Integrative Counselling, has specialised in relationships and parenting. She has over 20 years of writing and editing women's issues and general features.
Passionate about helping people find a way through their challenges, Sally is also a trustee for the charity Family Lives. Her team helps up to 90 people every week.
Sally took over as The Sun's Agony Aunt when Deidre Sanders retired from the The Dear Deidre column four years ago.
The Dear Deidre Team Of Therapists Also Includes:
Kate Taylor: a sex and dating writer who is also training to be a counsellor. Kate is an advisor for dating website OurTime and is the author of five self-help books.
Jane Allton: a stalwart of the Dear Deidre for over 20 years. Jane is a trained therapist, who specialises in family issues. She has completed the Basic Counselling Skills Level 1, 2, and 3. She also achieved the Counselling and Psychotherapy (CPCAB) Level 2 Certificate in Counselling Studies.
Catherine Thomas: with over two decades worth of experience Catherine has also trained as a therapist, with the same credentials as Jane. She specialises in consumer and relationship issues.
Fill out and submit our easy-to-use and confidential form and the Dear Deidre team will get back to you.
You can also send a private message on the DearDeidreOfficial Facebook page or email us at:
Try Our AI Features
Explore what Daily8 AI can do for you:
Comments
No comments yet...
Related Articles
Daily Mail
44 minutes ago
- Daily Mail
DR MAX PEMBERTON: This is the REAL reason why there's been an explosion in cases of ADHD - and why we should all be scared of the consequences
As a doctor I'm often asked for my view on the soaring number of people seeking treatment for ADHD. Figures have trebled in the past decade and waiting lists for NHS assessments are so long it will take eight years to clear the backlog. To be blunt, yes, I do believe ADHD is being wildly overdiagnosed. I also worry that the surge in cases is starting to have a damaging impact on the day-to-day lives of everyone.
BBC News
44 minutes ago
- BBC News
Gonorrhoea vaccine roll-out begins across the UK
Gonorrhoea vaccines will be widely available from today in sexual health clinics across the UK, in a bid to tackle record-breaking levels of jabs will first be offered to those at highest risk - mostly gay and bisexual men who have a history of multiple sexual partners or sexually transmitted England say the roll out is a world-first, and predict it could prevent as many as 100,000 cases, potentially saving the NHS almost £8m over the next Terrence Higgins Trust, who campaigned for the vaccine to be introduced in the UK, told the BBC it was "a huge win" for sexual health. Gonorrhoea is a bacterial infection that is transmitted through unprotected can include pain, unusual discharge, inflammation of the genitals and infertility, but in some cases it can have no symptoms at NHS says it can be avoided by the proper use of condoms and by accepting the vaccine if are becoming increasingly worried about the number of infections, and hope the vaccine, which is 30-40% effective, will also help slow the growing number of antibiotic-resistant vaccine, known as the 4CMenB vaccine, was designed for preventing meningitis B in babies, but the bacteria that causes the two diseases are so closely related that the jab is also effective against were more than 85,000 cases of gonorrhoea in 2023 - the highest since records began almost 100 years of those diagnosed was Joey Knock, who says the infection gave him diarrhoea, made him feel "wiped out" and led to him taking time off work to told BBC News: "I discussed it with my friends and I definitely had worse symptoms [than them] with it."I felt really bad, I couldn't keep food down and I just felt totally run down." Because he has many sexual partners, the 35-year-old decided to pay a private pharmacy for a course of gonorrhoea vaccinations in February 2024 before travelling abroad to a paid £220 and says he's glad he did it."It helps knowing that I'm taking control of my sexual health and doing what I can to stay safe and practise safer sex and be much less worried about the severity of the symptoms," he says he uses the protection the vaccine offers him alongside other methods of safer sex, including taking PrEP, a drug which helps prevent HIV, and DoxyPep - antibiotics taken after sex to prevent bacterial STIs, a treatment not widely available on the says he also occasionally uses condoms - but sees the vaccine as an extra tool to keep him safe in situations where he or his partner doesn't want to use being vaccinated, Joey has been re-infected with gonorrhoea but says the symptoms were much less told the BBC: "I've been able to get on with my day and it has just become something much more manageable, and getting tested regularly and knowing my body really helps too." Matthew, a 63-year-old from East Scotland, was diagnosed with gonorrhoea 10 years ago and had a reaction known as reactive arthritis - extreme pain in your joints caused by your body's reaction to an told the BBC that the experience, which has caused lasting damage to some of his fingers and toes, was so painful it's left him fearful of becoming re-infected and has impacted his mental says: "I'm constantly looking for symptoms and I'm constantly aware of it, and I feel a bit like I used to do in the 1980s when I was constantly fretting about HIV."I'd get some sort of cough and think 'oh my god, what's happening?'"He is hoping to be one of the first people to get a vaccine in order to give himself and his sexual partners more protection."You're not just protecting yourself, you're protecting your partners."I think it will also relieve some of the burden on sexual health services, it's getting difficult to get appointments so if it can work to reduce the incidence of STIs I think it's really worth it."Richard Angell, chief executive of the Terrence Higgins Trust, a leading sexual health charity, told the BBC the vaccine was a "remarkable addition to our toolkit on sexual health".Dr Amanda Doyle, NHS national director for primary care and community services, said it was important "everyone eligible takes up the offer through sexual health services" in order to "keep each other safe"."It's a real step forward for sexual health," she who may be eligible for the vaccine are being asked to contact their local sexual health clinic for more information.
Daily Mail
an hour ago
- Daily Mail
'Heartrending tales of the soldiers who fell victim to the British military's silent killer: 'Asbestos was everywhere years ago... but many old soldiers just shut their gob, got on with it and quietly faded away'
When Lt Col Crawford Harvey's wife Jacqueline died at the age of 77 from mesothelioma – a terminal cancer caused by asbestos – he remembered all the faded military quarters they had shared during his 39 years of service. Could she have been exposed to the deadly fibres in one of those? 'When people ask me what she was like, I sum her up by describing what she loved – family, fun, flowers, sewing, dogs and friends,' he says. 'She was wonderful.' Lt Col Harvey, 77, didn't think life could get any worse after losing Jacqueline in 2022 after 50 years of marriage. He'd never previously heard of mesothelioma, which kills most of those diagnosed within a year. She had lasted about a year and a half. But then, six months ago, he was diagnosed with it, too. 'We're all going to die of something,' he says. 'But to have two people together for 50 years and then, within the span of four years, both are diagnosed with the same relatively rare cancer caused by asbestos? You'd have to say that's spooky.' You would indeed – except that, as the Daily Mail reveals today, the Harveys' tale is only the tip of the iceberg. The Ministry of Defence paid out £112.5million in compensation to 803 victims of mesothelioma between 2016 and 2025. To put that into perspective, British forces were in action in Afghanistan for 20 years, from 2001 to 2021. During that time, there were 405 deaths due to hostile enemy action. During the same period, taking an average of 89 claims a year, 1,780 Royal Navy, Army and Royal Air Force veterans would have died from mesothelioma. On top of that, each year a similar number die from asbestosis – a chronic disease where the lungs harden – and other lung cancers. That's at least 3,560 asbestos-related deaths in that same 20-year period. The mesothelioma victims included Bernice Scullion, an RAF air traffic control assistant, who died in 2020 aged just 48. In a statement to her solicitors Irwin Mitchell, Bernice had described working in old, crumbling military installations where she suspected asbestos was present. Her husband Kevin, 54, was also in the RAF, until 2014. They had trained together in 1994 at RAF Halton, Buckinghamshire, and worked and lived at other locations that had raised red flags in terms of asbestos. They had three children. 'There are so many of these unmodernised post-war structures that, in my opinion, aren't fit to live or work in,' says Kevin. 'Most have asbestos in them. But military people have such a can-do attitude that some will ignore the risk and get on with it.' Then there was Lt Commander Jeffrey Picken, 69. During 37 years as a marine engineer, he served on five ships and five submarines, all while being exposed to asbestos that had been installed in the vessels for its fire-retardant properties. He died from mesothelioma on New Year's Day in 2018. 'You could say the asbestos was there to protect him and his crewmates,' says his widow Veronica, 77. 'But it killed him, and probably some of them, too.' If the failure to protect the servicemen and women who protect us is a national disgrace, then so, too, is the way we treat them when they develop the disease. Because, when it comes to levels of compensation and medical help, our veterans fare poorly in comparison with civilian mesothelioma victims. Until 2016, personnel who had been exposed to asbestos before 1987 weren't allowed to seek compensation or redress because of the doctrine of Crown Immunity, which protects the Armed Forces from legal action. This was significant because the period between being exposed to asbestos and developing symptoms can range from 20 to 60 years. The Government's Mesothelioma Act changed that, yet still left veterans at a disadvantage – their maximum claim is £140,000, whereas civilians can average around £250,000. Their families cannot make any claims after they die under MoD rules – while civilians' families suing former employers in public courts can. The charity Mesothelioma UK describes these inequalities as 'disgraceful'. The Daily Mail's Asbestos: Britain's Hidden Killer campaign has highlighted that, in the UK, more than 5,000 people a year die from diseases related to these toxic fibres, making it our biggest workplace killer. We are calling on the Government to introduce a phased removal of asbestos from all public buildings – starting with schools and hospitals – and to introduce a national database to register where exactly it is. Today we argue that this should include military homes, barracks, workplaces and equipment. Our forces personnel have our backs. We should have theirs. The Daily Mail's Asbestos: Britain's Hidden Killer campaign has highlighted that, in the UK, more than 5,000 people a year die from diseases related to these toxic fibres, making it our biggest workplace killer We include 'equipment' deliberately. In 2023, the Ministry of Defence admitted that 2,699 pieces of military hardware contained asbestos. These included all Vanguard class nuclear-armed and Astute-class nuclear-powered submarines; hundreds of Challenger tanks; more than a thousand Warrior and Bulldog armoured vehicles; Chinook, Gazelle and Puma helicopters; Daring-class Type 45 destroyers; Type 23 frigates; Stormer and Harpoon missiles... the list goes on. Lt Col Harvey is proud to have served his country for almost four decades in the Royal Corps of Transport, later to become the Royal Logistic Corps. But he says a number of the buildings or barracks where he and Jacqueline, a teacher, stayed – including in the UK, Northern Ireland and Africa – were from an era where asbestos was commonplace. 'By the time I left, in 2005, the Army was much stricter and more aware of the dangers of asbestos,' he says. 'But in the 1960s and 70s, there was less understanding. 'Once I got over 70, I began to hear of a lot of my peer group dying of cancers, and I suspected much of this was down to asbestos. It was everywhere years ago. But many old soldiers just shut their gob, get on with it and quietly fade away.' When I tell him about the numbers of veterans' deaths from asbestos each year, he says: 'That does not surprise me at all.' Assistant air traffic controller Bernice Scullion was fairly certain she had been exposed at a number of locations. At RAF Shawbury in Shropshire, where considerable refurbishment was under way, she recalled in a statement before she died: 'There were a lot of pre-Second World War buildings on site, and notices around the site warning about the presence of asbestos.' At RAF Northolt, west London, Bernice remembered filthy, dusty repairs being carried out to the Operations Centre, where asbestos was later found. And at RAF Leeming in North Yorkshire she worked in dirty basements with maps that she had to shake clean of dust every day. She later found out that large amounts of asbestos were found in the building where she worked. In 2014 Bernice, from Northern Ireland, began to experience abdominal pains. She was told she had mesothelioma, but then the diagnosis was withdrawn – only to be confirmed later. Possibly because of her age or because she was on clinical trials of new drugs, she lasted three years after her diagnosis in 2017. That is more than most but, by any standards, 48 is young to die from this disease. 'She was a proper Irishwoman,' says husband Kevin. 'Loved her kids. Loved family life. Loved her parents and her friends. I loved her very much.' Now a private contractor on an RAF base, he thinks some things have improved – if asbestos were found, a specialist would be brought in to clear it, for example – but he adds: 'I could probably walk into the crew room and ask, 'Does anybody know what mesothelioma is?' I don't think any of them would.' The poor state of military accommodation is often cited as a factor in asbestos exposure. As of March 2023, 47,800 properties were designated for service occupation. A Parliamentary Defence Committee report into the state of this accommodation in December concluded: 'A third of Single Living Accommodation and two-thirds of Service Families Accommodation are in such poor condition that they are essentially no longer fit for purpose.' In 2023 in response to a Freedom of Information request put by the Lib Dems, the MoD admitted that 72 per cent of service accommodation contained 'low risk' asbestos. However, among clinicians and the courts, it has long been accepted that there is no such thing as a safe level of exposure to the material. 'We know and understand that defence jobs have a very high risk of injury or death attached to them,' says Professor Kevin Bampton, chief executive of the British Occupational Hygiene Society, which campaigns for workplace safety. 'However, those working in the service of their country should be able to expect that their housing, work accommodation and equipment do not pose more of a likely cause of death than hostile combatants.' If equipment and accommodation weren't enough for service personnel to worry about, questions have been raised over the levels of care the MoD extends to them while on exercises abroad. A case brought by 260 mostly former Royal Marines alleges that they were knowingly exposed to asbestos in an area called Skrunda-1 in Latvia in 2018 and 2019. The group, led by former Marine Edward Hill, were concerned about the location in which they were billeted – a crumbling Soviet-era control centre – but were not allowed to relocate. Edward took soil samples which were found to contain high levels of chrysotile – or white – asbestos. The group are seeking compensation. The MoD said it could not comment on live cases. 'Health and Safety legislation does not extend beyond the UK when armed forces are training overseas,' says Edward. 'But the law needs to change. Those in command must be held criminally accountable when they recklessly expose servicemen and women to hazardous substances.' The final words on such terrible – and completely avoidable – loss of life should go to Veronica Picken, widow of Lt Cdr Picken who served proudly on so many Royal Navy ships and submarines before his death in 2017. 'We met in 1966 and were married in 1967,' she says. 'Before he died, we managed to celebrate our golden wedding anniversary. 'Jeff got his first symptoms – pain in the ribs – in 2016. When they said it was mesothelioma, which I'd never heard of, and they told us the prognosis, I fell apart. 'They tried a couple of drugs on him, but he died in pain. He lasted just over a year. 'I'd like to see the MoD do something about the asbestos our servicemen and women are being exposed to all the time. But I'd also like to see something else – more compassion and more understanding for the families affected by this. 'After almost 40 years of service, you might expect a letter, or a card, or a bunch of flowers from the Navy when your husband dies. But I received nothing. Perhaps that, as much as anything, shows how much the Armed Forces care for the people whose lives they're putting at risk.'
