Gen Xers Are Getting Real About The Parts Of The '90s That Most People Gloss Over, And The Rose-Colored Glasses Are ALL The Way Off

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26-03-2025

Today, most people view the 1990s as the last "great" decade — a time of peace and advancement in all aspects of life, from technology to the destigmitazion of certain marginalized groups. However, there comes a point when an individual acknowledges that nostalgia has heavily tinted their view of the past. While some long for a time when life was "easier," many realize that the '90s had its fair share of dark moments...
This is why when Redditor u/OoglyBoogly00 asked, " Everyone always talks about how good the '90s were. What was bad about the '90s?" Gen Xers flooded the comments to share the often-overlooked negative side of the '90s. From mental health stigma to kidnappings, here are 17 aspects of the '90s no one discusses:
Content warning: sexism, violence, anti-LBGTQ, eating disorders, abuse, kidnappings, school shootings, and mental illness.
1. "'Heroin chic,' obsessive diet culture, and rampant eating disorders — it didn't start in the '90s, but that's when it became the norm, and it was awful."
— u/aka-hellcat
"Female celebrities were shrinking to child sizes and getting praised for it. 'Thinspo' was a thing. ALL my friends group from high school and college, including myself, had eating disorders — Marlboro Light and Diet Coke for every meal. Our idea of sports was extreme cardio only. We were SO unhealthy.
Thank God we were young enough to bounce back to normal without major issues."
— u/peruvianheidi
2.
"The constant fear of being kidnapped. My mom always told my sister and me to stay close to her when we were out because too many kids were getting taken. I remember seeing posters of missing children at the supermarket, and it was sad and scary."
— u/Ehh_Maybe88
"I was under the age of 10 throughout the '90s. My biggest fear was getting lost (while driving, from my parents, etc.) Nowadays, you can use Google Maps anywhere, call your parents if you're lost, and put GPS trackers on your kids.
But back then, if you lost your child or took a wrong turn on the highway and got disoriented, things could escalate quickly."
— u/ImmediateKale
3. "The 1990–1991 recession, aka the ' Gulf War Recession,' people seem to forget how many blue-collar families became unemployed and lost their homes."
— u/Useafriggincoaster
"This recession is actually what greased the skids for Bill Clinton in the 1992 election with James Carville's famous ' It's the economy stupid! '
And he had a point. I voted for Bush in 1988, but by 1991-92, I was desperate for a full-time job and struggled to find one."
— u/Plane-Ad6931
4. "Between AIDS, 'don't ask, don't tell,' the Defense of Marriage Act, Matthew Shepard's murder, etc., coming out of the closet was scary as hell. We made some gains, and it felt like we were closer to acceptance, but there was so much backlash and fear."
— u/Uffda01
"Growing up as a queer kid in the '90s meant I had no LGBTQ+ role models to look up to, so I learned to lie about myself in order to survive. I came out when I was in high school in the early 2000s, and more than half of my 'friends' stopped talking to me.
In middle school in the late '90s, the school psychologist tried to force me to come out so she could shame me in front of my parents. She also interviewed all my friends to try to find out if I ever acted 'gay' around them and even wanted to know if I had ever tried to kiss them; the school knew all about this. One of my friends was sent to a conversion camp, and we didn't hear from him again until Facebook became popular.
I sometimes still wonder how the hell I survived, but I'm glad I did."
— u/Supergatovisual
5. "Everyone loves the music from the '90s, but it's all so bleak. Most of the grunge bands were singing about addiction, severe depression, and barely coping. I think a lot of that bled into mainstream society. The 'alternative' music scene was rife with gut-wrenching lyrics."
"I was in high school/college then, and I can't go back and listen to bands like Alice In Chains, Mad Season, Nirvana, and Pearl Jam anymore. Back in the day, I listened to it constantly, and I loved it, but in hindsight, I think it harmed my psyche.
Thank God I found The Grateful Dead when I did."
— u/Sturgen
6. "Being a child diagnosed with autism in the '90s, I was lumped in the special education classes despite not needing them, and it sucked. Back then, anyone who was autistic was typically thought of as 'slow.'"
— u/Ok-Examination9090
"My mum worked in special education, and she knew I had autism, but she adamantly refused to get me diagnosed because she understood the way the system worked and knew they would have just put me in the lower classes, and I didn't need that.
I tell people today, 'My mum knew I was autistic and didn't do anything,' and people see that as neglect or callousness, but honestly, it is hard to say she was wrong. I never heard of an autistic kid from my generation getting any help that wasn't just slower-paced teaching."
— u/EfficientDelivery359
7. "It was in the '90s that American politicians — specifically Republicans — decided to stop working with each other, and the right-wing echo chamber was created, forever destroying the 'news.' This can largely be attributed to Rush Limbaugh, Newt Gingrich, and the sh*tshow around the Clinton impeachment."
— u/MotorizedDoucheCanoe
"It saw the beginning of the process where the Republican Party completely abandoned its values, its intellectual wing was wiped out, and Rush Limbaugh laid the groundwork for Fox News.
It's hard to fathom now, but in 1993, your typical college Republican had consistent economic and philosophical principles. It was actually a point of pride among them that they approached problems with intellectual rigor — they considered themselves people who thought deeply about national problems and were guided by their logic, rather than their emotions."
— u/HotspurJr
8. "Mental health support was still stigmatized as something only 'crazy' people got. My dad died in '97, and I had a complete psychotic breakdown in '99. My mom cried while asking if I wanted to see a psychiatrist. Going to therapy was viewed as a death sentence."
— u/workmagic18
9. "Misogynistic comments were hurled at women on a day-to-day basis. I was grabbed in various situations, pushed in corners, kissed involuntarily from the time I was 11 years old, etc. As a girl, you just had to live with it. "
"Belittling, discouraging comments towards women, especially young ones, were normal; society expected its women to be pretty and available at all times but saints and virgins in their minds and bodies.
So, basically, like today."
— u/strangerinthebox
10. "Neighborhoods were far more dangerous. Gangs were constantly having turf wars over useless stuff. Cops got away with framing whoever they wanted because there were no cell phones to film them, and the jury always believed the cop over some 'hoodlum.'"
— u/TroXMas
"Gangs were rampant in the 90s — everywhere. I grew up in a suburb, but we still had ESL, aka 'Bloods,' Crypts, New Wave, Skinheads, etc., represented.
Kids were pressured into joining these gangs when they were young. I witnessed my first major gang fight in eighth grade when thirty kids began brawling after school. The next Monday, I had friends on crutches; one kid got sliced with a knife, thankfully not deep, and four others had broken bones in their hands, etc.
No one talked to anyone about anything, so there were no suspensions."
— u/OpticalPrime35
11. "Maybe it was my house, but everything was 'low-fat' or 'non-fat' and tasted like sh*t. As it later turned out, the fat wasn't the problem but the sugar they put in everything."
— u/Grateful_Dawg_CLE
"The 'poison food' era — full of dyes, sugar, preservatives, and artificial ingredients, packaged and microwaved in plastic for your convenience.
The nutritional guidance was so bad it kicked off an obesity epidemic we're only solving now, thanks to breakthrough medication."
— u/Responsible-Salt-443
12. "If your family lived in a rural area and wasn't rich enough to immediately buy a computer, you could be lonely in a way that people can't even comprehend now. I spent the last two years of high school doing nothing, watching TV and playing 16-bit RPGs repeatedly because I couldn't get anywhere or do anything."
"And yes, I know that sounds super chill nowadays, but back then, it could be very depressing — especially when you knew that the kids who had cars were going to concerts and coffee houses while you were just home alone doing nothing. It was maddening."
— u/chronorin
13. "School shootings became normalized."
— u/FreshwaterViking
"Columbine deeply altered my worldview. I was a kid in the '90s, and until 1999, at the age of 13, I was never concerned about a school shooting — it just wasn't a thing.
When I say it wasn't a thing, I don't mean it didn't happen, but school shootings weren't front-page news and dinner table conversations. I don't know if this is even right or not, but it felt like that was a turning point in history because, after that, school shootings have been more prevalent.
I went 13 years without the remote concern of a school shooter. Who can say that now?"
— u/Sadoul1214
14. "Cigarette smoke was everywhere — stores, malls, you name it. Smoking sections in restaurants were sometimes on the left side of an aisle as if that helped. It was so weird when my parents quit smoking because I stopped being nose blind to the smell. That sh*t REEKS."
"When I was a teenager, we moved, and while packing, we removed the pictures on the wall and noticed white squares left where they had been hung.
The change was so gradual that none of us noticed it — so nasty. Until that point, both of my parents previously stopped smoking IN the house but still smoked elsewhere. That was the final straw that caused my father to fully quit."
— u/SithLordSky
15. "Child abuse and neglect were more normalized. It still exists today, but at least now the schools care and are mandated reporters, and people are better about stepping up to stop blatant public displays of abuse; no one stopped it back in the day."
"If a parent grabbed a kid by their hair, hit them, or screamed obscenities at them, the public at large would just mind their business or even jump in to defend the parents' 'right to discipline,' and teachers were allowed to beat us at school. Any adult could hit a child, and people would just stand there and agree with it.
Most friends I had growing up were 'latchkey' kids and neglected at home from super young ages. They had to walk home from elementary school, cook dinner for themselves, feed their siblings, and care for the house.
Parents didn't seem to care about their kids. At night, commercials asked: 'Did you hug your child today?' And 'It's 10 p.m. Do you know where your child is?' Those commercials/PSAs started decades before, but they continued throughout the late '90s."
— u/OhMaeOhMy
16. "Drunk driving didn't have the stigma it does today. It took a long campaign waged by MADD (Mothers Against Drunk Driving) to shift public perception on how dangerous drunk driving is."
— u/stolenfires
"When I was a child, we had a group of family friends whose kids were all around the same age. The parents would throw house parties, taking turns hosting and partying hard while the kids played. At the end of the night, they'd all load the kids in the car and drive home absolutely hammered. Everyone was like this — not just my parents' friend group.
I'm sure it still happens today, but I haven't seen it."
— u/No_Principle_4282
17. "There was a lot of media pitting girls against girls and framing other women as competition, not friends."
"People would say the most unhinged things about my (and others') looks and hobbies, and it was socially acceptable for them to do so. It was wild that being a mean girl was encouraged.
I'm so glad we've moved past that as a society; the '90s were a brutal time."
— u/BananaRepublic0
Did any of these negative aspects of the '90s surprise you? What do you think people tend to overlook about the '90s? Let us know in the comments! (Or, if you prefer to remain anonymous, you can answer using this Google Form).
Note: Some responses have been edited for length and/or clarity.
The National Alliance on Mental Illness helpline is 1-800-950-6264 (NAMI) and provides information and referral services; GoodTherapy.org is an association of mental health professionals from more than 25 countries who support efforts to reduce harm in therapy.
If you or someone you know is struggling with an eating disorder, The National Alliance for Eating Disorder helpline can be reached at 866-662-1235 in the US. The helpline is run by clinicians and offers emotional support for individuals and their family, as well as referrals for all levels of eating disorder care.
StopBullying.gov is an organization that provides resources to prevent harassment and bullying against children. Stomp Out Bullying offers a free and confidential chat line here.
If you are concerned that a child is experiencing or may be in danger of abuse, you can call or text the National Child Abuse Hotline at 1-800-422-4453 (4.A.CHILD); service can be provided in over 140 languages.
If you or someone you know has experienced anti-LGBTQ violence or harassment, you can contact the National Coalition of Anti-Violence Programs hotline at 1-212-714-1141.