
When you're in perimenopause and have a newborn baby at the same time
'I thought there's no way I could be menopausal,' Lorraine says. 'I've just had a baby. That's years down the line.'
Yet, by the time Ava was two, Lorraine's hormones were 'all over the place', though she was out of the new-baby phase. Her mood was not as good as it should have been.
'I wasn't feeling as energetic or upbeat as I normally would. Ava has been a great sleeper since very young, so why was I feeling more tired than usual when I was sleeping well?'
Through research, conversations with friends, and the launch of a menopause policy in her Dublin City University workplace, the Stepaside-based mother realised she was most likely in perimenopause.
Lorraine Heffernan: "I thought there's no way I could be menopausal, I've just had a baby, that's years down the line." Picture: Gareth Chaney
Lorraine came forward for interview for this feature after menopause workplace consultant Catherine O'Keeffe put out a call on her network for women prepared to talk about being in perimenopause soon after having a baby. Within days, 20 women had responded.
'It's a big challenge for a lot of women,' says O'Keeffe. 'Starting a family is happening later. And a lot of women are starting to feel perimenopausal before the average age of 45.'
Catherine O'Keeffe of the Menopause Summit
Fiona Buckley, 44, a Dublin-based empowerment coach and keynote speaker, began having what she now knows were perimenopausal symptoms about a year after having her daughter, Sadie, seven.
She attributed the tiredness and brain fog to the postpartum phase. But the symptoms never went away.
'My GP and friends who'd had babies said 12 months postpartum these should be going away, but they weren't. They were only getting compounded, new ones being added on. That's how I knew.'
Fiona Buckley began having what she now knows were perimenopausal symptoms about a year after having her daughter, Sadie, seven. She attributed the tiredness and brain fog to the postpartum phase. But the symptoms never went away.
Initial misdiagnosis
Emily Collins who got her first symptom of menopause at the age of 36 when her second daughter was six months old. Picture: Moya Nolan
Emily Collins, mother to Ava, seven, and Niamh, five, was 36 when she attended the GP with her first symptom, six months after giving birth.
Her usual GP was away and the male replacement attributed what she was experiencing to thrush. 'We never thought it was menopause, because I had a six-month-old. I was treated for thrush — it went on for nine months.'
'Between life, lockdown at the time, and children, I just ignored it. My second symptom came in summer 2021, just after I'd had the covid vaccine: Very heavy periods. I'd heard that the vaccine could cause changes to the menstrual cycle.'
But by October, sweat dripping off her as she packed to go home to Wicklow after a visit to her parents' house in Clare, realisation dawned for Emily.
'My cousin, 10 years older than me, is a big menopause advocate. She'd just started her menopause journey and was very vocal about symptoms. I began to put two and two together: Maybe there's another reason I'm sweating and anxious, have heavy periods, and extreme tiredness. Maybe it's not just having a newborn.'
Discovering that her mother had been 'in the throes' of menopause at 43, Emily says: 'But when did her first symptom start?'
A visit to her own GP brought some relief. 'She sent me for blood tests. They were normal, but because of my symptoms she wasn't convinced I wasn't in menopause.'
A stint on the Mirena coil didn't help. An oestrogen patch brought a better result. 'Within three weeks, I wasn't sweating to the same level. I wasn't anxious or tired and it just got progressively better.'
Confusing symptoms
At her Ashe St Clinic in Tralee, Dr Karen Soffe, GP with an interest in women's health and specialist with the British Menopause Society, has seen women who were in perimenopause soon after they had a baby.
A few issues are at play. 'Women are having babies later and, therefore, the gap between their postnatal period and the start of perimenopause can overlap, making it difficult for women to realise what's going on.'
In addition, some of the symptoms — fatigue, low mood, lack of sleep, and brain fog — can be put down to 'baby blues' or 'baby brain' and be misdiagnosed.
Deciding whether 'this is post-natal depression, perimenopause, or just having a new baby can be a very big challenge', says Lorraine.
'I don't know if you'd know where one starts and the other finishes.' Recalling her return to work when Ava was seven months, she says: 'Going into a room, I'd be saying, 'What have I come in here for? I can't remember'. Remembering people's names, the title of something, my mind would go blank. And I'd be thinking, 'Is it baby brain or brain fog?' Now I'm realising it was a bit of both.
'Any mum will be anxious with a new baby: You're on high alert. Anxiety symptoms are heightened in perimenopause: Waking up in the middle of the night, your mind racing, finding it hard to go to sleep. If you're irritable or snappy, is it because you've a very active, strong-willed, fabulous little girl who's trying and testing you, or is it because your hormones are acting erratically?'
Recalling the succession of symptoms, Fiona says: 'One minute, you're trying for a baby, then you've had the baby, and then you have all these symptoms coming at you in force. First, I thought it was part of being a new mom, just motherhood. I didn't put it down to perimenopause.'
Whether 'it's my body settling down after having a baby, or I've gone full throttle into menopause' is a cloudy area, says O'Keeffe. 'If you are in perimenopause, unless you have a good doctor you'll probably spend a while thinking 'Am I going mad?''
Emily feels fortunate her doctor listened to her. 'She didn't say, 'Look, the bloods indicate there's nothing going on'.' But Fiona says women don't always respond optimally to other women who are wondering if, post-birth, they're in perimenopause. 'A lot shut me down. They said, 'Oh, you're not, you're just tired after having a baby'. Women can do that to each other, fob each other off. It made me question myself a lot.'
As a woman in her mid-40s having her first baby, Lorraine feels that more health-service awareness of her life stage would have helped. 'Nobody said, 'You're at a certain age now, perimenopause might be kicking in'. Nothing like that was ever mentioned, not even at the check-ups. The community health nurse would ask 'How are you feeling, how's your mood?' There was no mention of perimenopause. I think it's another piece of information to make women aware of.'
Two times of life colliding
Unsurprisingly, perimenopause can make new motherhood even more challenging than it already is.
One symptom that Emily says really upset her, prior to getting good treatment, was the anger she would sometimes feel: 'The girls were two and four when I was going through that, and something as simple as them taking a while to put on their shoes going out, I'd get cross about, and there was no need to get cross like that. I think it impacted the relationship I had with them. And it was because I wasn't myself.'
Lorraine says being a mother and having perimenopause is two conflicting elements in one. 'You're striving to be the best mom you can be. You don't want to be reacting in certain ways. You want to have a certain tolerance threshold, regardless of what timeframe your body clock is working to.'
Fiona took a while to accept that perimenopause came so soon after her baby. 'It feels like you have two stages of life overlapping. You're trying to enjoy your baby and you're hit with a complete other stage of life. It feels like you've been fast-forwarded and you're trying to slow it down.'
Soffe says that perimenopause, at the best of times, coincides with a stressful phase of most women's lives, what with elderly parents, career pressures, teenagers, and financial worries. 'Perimenopause can make women struggle with mood, anxiety, multi-tasking, or juggling all the things they previously managed with ease. Adding a new baby or toddler in to the mix can be overwhelming.'

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Irish Independent
3 days ago
- Irish Independent
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Irish Times
3 days ago
- Irish Times
Middle-aged, middle-class cocaine use: ‘My wife thought I was having an affair, but I was using coke'
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'When I'm trying to get people to understand why would people use, when they know what the destruction is going to be, I say: 'That's where you're wrong.' 'They don't see themselves as that other person out there who has a drug problem. They see themselves as a person who's working, who can afford cocaine, who has a job, who has a family, and I use this because I feel good when I use it. It's the exact same kind of psychology as somebody going for a drink on a Friday after work.' Still, risk is never far away. Certain users drive while under the influence of the drug. Others admit to working on building sites after taking cocaine. The health and safety implications were clear but user's need for the drug was bigger. Cocaine doesn't only affect the person using it. Those who love the drug user are also deeply impacted. MUIREANN* 'My brother can get it anywhere ... He was at a show in Dublin last year. 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He drives high constantly.' Muireann says her brother can purchase cocaine easily. 'He gets it delivered to the house. He can get it delivered anywhere ... He was at a show in Dublin last year. It was delivered to the matinee at lunchtime, at the break,' she says. 'No problem. They can get it anywhere. I don't know how they do it. There's a world and it's just a text away.' Living in the same neighbourhood as her brother, she worries about safety. His car 'was smashed up outside the house', she says. 'He is a normal person. He's a gent. He's the most generous human, good-looking fellow, gorgeous, really successful man – and this has just taken every ounce of him from us. He's not the same. Even if he stopped today, I don't know would we ever get him back. I think his brain chemistry has changed that much now, he's gone into psychosis, where he thinks conspiracy theories.' Feeling helpless, she lives in fear of finding her brother dead. 'Nobody can help him until he reaches rock bottom, and I don't know what that looks like.' THE MEDIC 'Cocaine is known as the perfect heart-attack drug' Increasing cocaine use was reflected in data this week from the Rutland Centre, another drug treatment group. Rutland's annual report pointed to the increasing complexity of drug addiction with 77 per cent of residential clients presenting with two or more addictions. Cocaine featured heavily. Doctors see the effects in the emergency room. 'Ask any emergency physician and they will tell you, cocaine-associated chest pains is definitely something we see in Ireland, especially in the 30s and 40s,' says Dr Lisa Cunningham, consultant in emergency medicine at Mayo University Hospital. Dr Lisa Cunningham, consultant in emergency medicine at Mayo University Hospital She has seen an increase in presentations in this age group over the past 10 years but says some patients won't tell medics of their drug use. 'Some patients may disclose their cocaine use and some may not, even when directly asked. Especially with local hospitals, community, people knowing each other, patients may be reluctant to state it.' Cunningham says 'cocaine is known as the perfect heart-attack drug,' adding that 'even recreational use, or chronic cocaine use' has a huge effect on the heart. 'It leads to stiffer blood vessels, which causes high blood pressure in the body. It is known to alter the structure of the muscle of the heart – causing it to enlarge. This can lead to heart failure as the heart can't pump properly with an enlarged muscle.' Cocaine use can be associated with the build-up of plaque in the coronary arteries – the arteries supplying the heart muscle – leading to 'blockage' heart attacks. 'If the electrical stimulant of cocaine is too much on a heart, this can lead to cardiac arrest.' People in their 30s and 40s may already have 'traditional risk factors for heart disease beginning to appear: rising cholesterol, diabetes, sedentary lifestyle, high blood pressure, stress in life.' Adding cocaine to the equation can be 'like an accelerator to a fire,' she says. 'Cocaine tips the risk factors over the edge with monumental consequences. 'A common thing patients say to me is that they haven't had previous bad effects of cocaine, or their friends never had problems.' Cunningham says cocaine isn't made in a pharmaceutical laboratory, with healthcare professionals, quality assurance, safety and regulation checks. 'You literally do not know where this comes from in the world, nor do you know the motivation of people behind making it, besides financial gain at the expense of anyone's life,' she says. 'Every time you take cocaine, there is no regulated ingredient list, no idea what is in it, with no knowledge of what immediate effect it has on your health. That may be chest pain or it may be cardiac arrest. It does not matter if it's the first time or the fifth time. Every time you take cocaine ... the damage is being done, and there will be one time that potentially the heart will not be able to cope.' *Names have been changed


Irish Times
3 days ago
- Irish Times
‘A lot of Indians are being targeted': Man suffers cheekbone fracture after attack by gang of teenagers in Dublin
An Indian data scientist has warned of a 'huge increase' in racist attacks after he was assaulted by a gang of youths in west Dublin. Dr Santosh Yadav was walking home after having dinner with a friend in Dublin on Sunday, July 27th, when he was attacked by 'a gang of five or six teenagers', leaving him with injuries all over his body. 'They approached me from behind and immediately smashed my glasses,' Dr Yadav said. 'They started hitting me, quite hard. They hit me in the face, on my chest, my back, my legs. Everywhere. 'They hit me so much, and then just ran away. I was on the pavement, bleeding everywhere,' he said. 'It all happened quite fast. I wasn't prepared for such things to happen'. READ MORE The assault took place near Clondalkin train station at about 11.30pm. He called gardaí and was taken by ambulance to Connolly Hospital in Blanchardstown, where he received a CT scan on his head and a full-body X-ray. A Garda spokesperson said they 'received a report of an alleged incident of assault' and brought Dr Yadav to hospital 'for treatment of serious injuries, believed to be non-life-threatening at this time'. Investigations into the incident are ongoing, they said. Days on from the assault, Dr Yadav continues to suffer head trauma and swelling. He has a fractured cheekbone and is heavily bandaged on his hands, arms, and legs. Dr Yadav moved to Ireland from India more than four years ago. He works as a senior data scientist. He has had to take time off work to recover from the attack and while he waits for a specialist procedure in St James's Hospital to treat his fractured cheekbone. He described the assault as 'a brutal, unprovoked racist attack', although 'not an isolated incident'. Earlier this month , an Indian man was beaten, stabbed, robbed and partially stripped in an unprovoked attack by a gang in Tallaght. The father of a young infant, this man arrived in Ireland three weeks previously take up a tech job with Amazon. The Tallaght assault is being investigated as a possible hate crime by gardaí, who believe the attackers may have recently carried out similar assaults on foreign nationals in the area. 'In the last year I've seen a huge increase in these incidents,' Dr Yadav said. 'There have been incidents where two or three [Indian] students were beaten in front of me, but they haven't raised these concerns.' 'They're worried about their jobs or their studies. They're afraid to speak up. They don't want to worry people at home. 'I'm happy to share my story as much as possible because I know this is not just about me, this happens everyday. A lot of Indians are being targeted.' [ African, Brazilian communities 'lack trust' in gardaí, believe force takes 'lenient' attitude to racist attacks, report says Opens in new window ] He said the Indian community in Ireland had 'an impression that Irish people are so welcoming, so humble, such good people. I've been to almost every county in Ireland, and everyone has been so welcoming. 'I think these teenagers are destroying those values and that culture,' he said. 'I see this every day, on the bus, the Luas, the streets: teenagers just beating people up. It sometimes feels like nothing will happen, that they can keep doing these things.' In the aftermath of the assault, Dr Yadav contacted the Indian embassy in Dublin for support. He said he appreciated that some officials visited him at home while he recovered from the attack, although he wants a bigger effort to ensure people's safety. Last week members of the Indian community in Ireland met the Indian ambassador to Ireland, Akhilesh Mishra. In a statement, the Indian embassy in Dublin said there had been an increase in attacks on Indian citizens in Ireland recently and it has been in touch with the relevant authorities. 'All Indian citizens in Ireland are advised to take reasonable precautions for their personal safety and avoid deserted areas, especially in odd hours,' it said. On its social media platforms the Embassy of India urged all Indian citizens in the country to avoid going to deserted places and exercise heightened caution. The Embassy also provides emergency details for concerned or affected citizens to contact. Census figures show that there are up to 46,000 Indian citizens living in Ireland.