SG student alleges parents refuse to pay for uni fees
In the post, the student claimed that her parents had announced their decision not to fund her higher education last year.
What frustrated her even more was that, after she had come to terms with the situation, she noticed her parents 'bragging' about her achievements to their friends.
'I feel even more mad at the fact that they are using me as something to show off without contributing,' she wrote.
The student also reflected on past experiences related to her education, recalling her father's negative reaction after she was enrolled in a tuition class during secondary school, which cost S$45 (RM149) per hour. She alleged that he verbally abused her nearly every day as a result.
As a result, he has decided not to financially support her family in the future, although she expressed concern that her parents might take legal action against her under Singapore's Maintenance of Parents Act. This legislation allows parents aged 60 and above who are unable to support themselves to claim maintenance from their children, either through monthly allowances or a lump-sum payment.
'They may not be willing to put S$100,000 (RM331,654) towards my education, but I know they will be willing to put S$200,000 (RM663,354) towards a lawyer to demand maintenance from me. If you think I'm exaggerating, I really swear I am not,' she added.
While she acknowledged feeling stressed about her finances during her university studies, she said she was even more anxious about dealing with her parents over the issue.
The anonymous student later provided an update, saying she had got into an argument with her father after informing him of her decision not to support them financially in the future.
Given her current circumstances, where she may need to continue living with her parents during her studies, she has decided to provide them with only a minimal monthly allowance — reflecting how poorly they had allegedly treated her for most of her life.
Netizens expressed concern over the young woman's situation and advised her to keep her distance from her parents, especially after she has graduated.
One user said that while children should appreciate their parents' efforts for raising them, noting the challenges that come with parenthood, the user acknowledged that parents should be self-sufficient with their own savings.
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The Star
5 days ago
- The Star
Is it time for Malaysia to introduce a Maintenance of Parents Act?
My previous article on family feuds and the breakdown of family relationships drew strong reactions from people I know and those I don't know, from across the generations. I had obviously touched on a sensitive nerve that few want to acknowledge or do something about: The parents-children relationship. The general response was along the lines of, 'It's not that easy to forgive'; 'They have never treated me well'; 'I am happy to disown him'. Which leads me to asking, 'Is filial piety dead?', or has it evolved into what we see today – a different way of how adult children express care and concern for their ageing parents, not very different from how they shower their young children with gifts and trips? How do elderly parents want their children to love, honour and respect them? In the traditional family unit where generations lived under one roof, there was always someone around to look after the little children, and care for the elderly members. But this structure is fast disappearing, resulting in a kind of family diaspora, with the adult children moving out to seek better career prospects in other places. Elderly parents are left on their own in an empty nest. Eventually one spouse passes away, and that's when the big question comes up. What to do with the surviving ageing parent? The duty of adult children to care for their elderly parents is a core value in all religions. Filial piety extends beyond death with the practice of ancestral worship. Today both virtues are on the decline. The Chinese government had to step in with threats of public shame, fines and imprisonment for those found guilty of neglecting their elderly parents. Isn't there a better way than threats of punishment? It's no different across Asia. In India, the government passed the Senior Citizen Act, 2007, as an answer to the insecurities faced by older persons in the country. This law accords prime responsibility for the maintenance of parents on their children, grandchildren and even relatives. In Singapore, the Maintenance of Parents Act (MPA) was introduced in 1995, making it a legal obligation for children to support their parents. Initially the Tribunal for MPA received hundreds of cases each year. After several amendments were introduced, the average of 170 cases between 2008 and 2010 fell to an average of about 30 cases in recent years. This is a good sign that the MPA is effective as a deterrent to abandoning one's elderly parents. Which begs the question – why is our government so hesitant about introducing a similar MPA? We cannot ignore the rising number of elderly parents ending up in old folks' homes and shelters funded the government or by the community. More than 2,000 senior citizens were abandoned at hospitals nationwide from 2018 to 2022. In 2021 alone, 752 senior citizens were abandoned at hospitals by their family members. In Malaysia, adult children are not legally bound to provide care and maintenance for their elderly parents. There are a myriad of reasons why an increasing number of adult children don't or won't take care of their frail parents. These include: • No extra room at home for their parents; • No one is free to care for them at home; • Their children come first, not their parents; • They can't afford to support their parents; • Their parents are not easy to live with; • Their parents had abused them Looking at the situation from the adult children's standpoint, there are genuine cases where the adult children themselves are caught in a financial bind, having to support their own children and care for their parents at the same time. Their financial situation forces them to choose. Invariably most couples in such situations would choose the young over the old. Makes sense. One has a whole life ahead; the other has a limited time left. So, the elderly parent finds himself packed off to a welfare home. Says an operator of a care home, 'We understand and empathise with the situation. But do visit them regularly so they don't feel abandoned. 'What is not forgivable are adult children who are doing well financially, yet refuse to support or visit their parents. Eventually, when contact with the adult children is lost, there is no hope of a reconciliation.' These adult children obviously do not have a close relationship with their parents. Possible reasons could include cases of child abuse, whether physical, emotional or sexual. We have read about such cases where parents abandon or abuse their young children. Years later, these children recall bitter memories of their abusive childhood. They now find it virtually impossible to forgive their parents and want to sever blood ties with them. There are also cases where adult children refuse to continue supporting their parents who are addicted to drugs or to gambling and incur hefty debts for their children to take care of. All these issues could potentially be resolved with the Maintenance of Parents Act, with a Tribunal to oversee the implementation and listen to every case brought to them. The Tribunal would have legal powers to check the financial status of the adult son to see if he has the means to provide for his parent. If he has, the Tribunal can order him to pay for his parent's monthly maintenance. The Tribunal's foremost role is to seek reconciliation for both parties, and to propose the best solution. The quantum of maintenance support will depend on what the adult children can afford taking into consideration their financial position and commitments. This is similar to the court granting alimony for child support in a divorce case. So, why is there this hesitation in introducing the Maintenance of Parents Act? Not all cases brought before it guarantees a win for the parents. In cases where the adult children can prove they were abused by their parent in their childhood, the Tribunal can dismiss the parent's application for maintenance. With an MPA, elderly parents who can no longer fend for themselves can have at least recourse to appeal to the Tribunal. Most parents would not want to be a burden to their children. They would rather eat less, make do with bare minimum than compel their children to care for them in their old age if the children are themselves struggling. Or if the financial support is grudgingly given. It takes very little to make our parents feel loved and happy. A phone call to ask how they are doing, a small gift of their favourite snacks, spending quality time with them, a warm hug now and then – all these don't cost much, but the joy they bring to our parents is priceless. As parents ourselves, we need to ask ourselves whether we are good role models for our adult children. If our adult children and grandchildren seem lacking in respect for their elders, are we as much to blame? Have we pampered and mollycoddled them too much? Have we allowed them to get away with indiscipline and disrespect to their parents and grandparents? The home is the first place for learning, and parents are the children's first teachers. How we treat our elderly parents is how our children will treat us one day in our old age. They will learn from us. What examples are we giving them? No matter how badly our parents may have treated us in the past, we can't stand by and do nothing for them in their time of need. This is not a game of tit-for-tat or revenge. Their blood runs in our veins. Lily Fu is a gerontologist who advocates for seniors. She is founder of SeniorsAloud, an online platform for seniors to connect and enjoy social activities for ageing well.
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- The Star
Singapore shipowner told to pay US$1bil over marine disaster
The highest court has ordered a Singaporean shipping firm to pay US$1bil (RM4.2bil) in damages for causing the island's worst marine pollution when its vessel sank four years ago. The Supreme Court directed Express Feeders, the owner of the MV X-Press Pearl which sank off Colombo Port in June 2021 after a fire that raged for nearly two weeks, to pay the money within a year. 'The X-Press Pearl... shall make further compensation payments as may be directed by this court,' the 361-page judgment read. Environmentalists had brought the case to court, alleging that both government authorities and firm owners had failed to prevent the fire from becoming an unprecedented ecological disaster. The shipping firm initially apologised and paid US$7.85mil for the immediate cleanup and as compensation for fishermen who were deprived of their livelihoods following the catastrophic incident. They then obtained an order from London's admiralty court in July 2023, limiting their liability to a maximum of £19mil. Sri Lanka has appealed that decision. The Sri Lankan government also filed a lawsuit against the shipowner in the Singapore International Commercial Court, claiming unspecified damages. That case has been put on hold pending a decision from the admiralty court in London. There was no immediate response from the Singaporean owner or their local representatives. The vessel was carrying 81 containers of 'dangerous cargo', including acids and lead ingots, when it sank. Tonnes of microplastic granules from the ship inundated an 80km stretch of beach along Sri Lanka's western coast. Fishing was prohibited for months due to the plastic pollution. Sri Lankan authorities believe the fire was caused by a nitric acid leak, which the crew apparently knew about nine days before the blaze started. Ports in Qatar and India had refused to offload the leaking nitric acid, and the vessel arrived in Sri Lankan waters with the leak. — AFP
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- Malay Mail
Bomba gives ‘all clear' at Second Link following chemical trailer accident
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