‘Called me and said she is getting married': Amaal Mallik says he refused to elope with ex after her parents rejected him, father Daboo responds; expert on validation in love

Indian Express

6 days ago

Singer-composer Amaal Mallik recently opened up about a deeply personal chapter of his life, one that involved heartbreak, and a difficult choice between love and self-respect.
Speaking with Siddharth Kannan, the 33-year-old recalled his relationship that lasted from 2014 to 2019, and how it came to an end when his partner's family disapproved of his religion and his career in the film industry. 'We were in a relationship from 2014 to 2019. But her parents were against my religion and career. They didn't want to associate their daughter with anyone from this industry,' he said.
The breakup, Amaal said, happened just before a performance, when he received a life-altering phone call. 'I was about to perform a gig when she called me and said she is getting married, but she would elope if I came to her. But, I guess the SRK from DDLJ in me woke up and said, 'No, if your parents can't accept my religion and respect my career, then I wish you the best.''
After this went viral online, his father Daboo Malik responded with a moving comment, 'Son … remember your father is always there… I know your pain and I love you to eternity… There can be none like you…'
Earlier this year, Amaal made headlines after announcing that he was clinically depressed and had decided to cut off personal ties with his family, including his parents and brother, singer Armaan Malik, through a post on Instagram.
Sonal Khangarot, a licensed rehabilitation counsellor and psychotherapist, tells indianexpress.com, 'As a psychologist, I see this commonly: individuals deeply in love yet emotionally torn when their bond clashes with familial or societal expectations. The pressure to conform can lead to chronic stress, anxiety, guilt, and even identity confusion. When love is seen as rebellion, individuals may feel forced to choose between their emotional truth and the approval of those they were raised to respect.'
In many cases, she adds, the relationship doesn't survive — not due to lack of love, but due to cultural roadblocks. The emotional toll is profound: grief, isolation, and unresolved anger. Navigating this requires compassion, clarity, and often, therapeutic support. In India, where collectivist values dominate, the cost of defying tradition can be heavy, yet denying personal authenticity comes with its lasting psychological consequences.
Khangarot says, 'I often see how vital belongingness and interpersonal validation are to emotional well-being. In collectivist cultures like India, acceptance by a partner's family isn't just symbolic — it affirms one's worth and strengthens relational security. Choosing not to elope, as Amaal Mallik did, reflects a desire for relational legitimacy — being seen, respected, and integrated into the partner's social world. Rejection from a partner's family can trigger feelings of inadequacy, shame, and attachment insecurity. On the other hand, familial approval provides a sense of social anchoring, reinforcing the relationship's stability and the individual's identity within a shared cultural framework.'