25 Funny Childhood Lies Adults Believed For Years

Buzz Feed

19 hours ago

When we're little and don't know much about the world, it's all too easy for our parents to get us to believe things that might remain unquestioned in the back of our minds for years. Recently, people on Reddit shared the most random little lie their parents told that they believed for way too long, and it's so hilariously relatable. Here are some of the top comments:
"When I was 6, I was obsessed with Christmas music. I'd play Christmas albums on the record player for hours. I guess my mother took all she could take, and one day she told me it was illegal to listen to Christmas music after the New Year. I believed her for years."
—quadracer1461
"My dad doesn't have a middle name. When I was little, I asked him why he didn't have one. He said his parents couldn't afford a middle name for him. He was just making some off-hand dad joke, but then I asked if he was serious, and he said, 'Yep, you pay by letter on the birth certificate, and we were a poor family, that's why my name is Pat, and I have no middle name.' Well, I had no reason not to believe him, so I believed that for yeeears until I was like 16."
"My dad played a long con on me. He made a big show of making sure the shiny side of tinfoil was always on the inside when wrapping something up to cook. Otherwise, 'it won't cook, the shiny side bounces off the heat.' He started this when I was very young. And continued it. FOR YEARS. I was home alone by myself for one of the first times, and I was starting the BBQ by myself. Then, after I had lit the BBQ and stuff was on the grill, I wasn't sure if I put the shiny side in!"
"My parents told me it was bad luck to sing at the dinner table. It was many, many years before I realized they were just trying to get me to shut up for twenty minutes."
—OrphanGold
"My mom told me that she could see that I was lying based on how my forehead looked. I started rubbing my forehead before I wanted to lie, turning it red, making my mum see that I was lying. Took me 30 years to realise I was a stupid kid."
"The chaotic good lie: George, the family ghost. We had a ghost that followed us wherever we moved (military family). If you heard something or saw some movement out of the corner of your eye, but no one else was in the house, George. If your toys were messed with (six kids, happened a lot), it wasn't your sib, it was George. If something got broken and no one admitted it, it was George."
"My grandmother's parents immigrated from Germany to the US, so for every big US holiday like Thanksgiving or Christmas, my grandma would make sauerkraut. I couldn't stand it, but was told that there was a 'sauerkraut fairy' that worked somewhat similarly to the tooth fairy, and if I ate at least a small amount of sauerkraut, the fairy would stop by and leave a quarter under my plate."
"I would always use the bathroom to rinse my face off after eating, and the sauerkraut fairy always happened to visit while I was in there, so I never saw her. Believed it for years and ate way more sauerkraut than I'd care to admit."—Robotic-Galaxy
"My mom told me that my younger brother's IQ was higher than mine. All of our lives, he thought that meant he was smarter than me, so he treated me like I was stupid or incapable of living my life without instructions from him. Turns out, my mom just said that to get him to do better in school. I was in advanced classes and got mostly A's, and he was at risk of being held back."
"My mum suffered a serious sledding injury as a kid and has some gnarly scars on her leg. As a kid myself, I obviously asked her where she got them, and without missing a beat, she told me she was attacked by a crocodile. Years later, I happened to mention to her how I had told everybody at school this, and she was horrified, as presumably half my class spent ages thinking I was a bullshitter."
"I begged and pleaded my folks to let me play a musical instrument, and they relented. About three months in, I lost interest and wanted to quit. My parents said, 'You can quit, but when we bought the instrument, we signed an agreement that you have to play it for three years.'"
"I sucked out loud at this instrument for three years, and when the day finally came, I said, 'Okay, my three years are over, can I quit band now?' They had no idea what I was talking about and told me to quit if I didn't want to play anymore."—QueenRotidder
"I used to go see a local hockey team with my dad. I would often ask if we could leave early, then he'd say we could leave after the third period. I just assumed hockey had four like other sports. It took me years to figure it out."
"That Better Homes & Gardens was coming to photograph our house, so we had to clean it from top to bottom. They had to 'cancel' the first time, so we had to clean it again. Props to my mom for getting two cleans out of us for that."
"My dad told me that I don't like Snickers when I was maybe 4 or 5 years old. I was in my 20s when I realized that he's a liar!"
—driveonacid
"That if I didn't eat the crusts on my sandwiches, I wouldn't learn to whistle. So random. I had just never thought to critically consider it; my mom told me a couple of times when I was really little. So I mentioned it once when I was maybe 8 and my mom tried to hide a smile, and I was like, 'HEY! You liar…and that obviously doesn't make any sense.' Well, joke's on you, Mom, because I ate those crusts, and I still can't whistle."
"I'm a girl named Maya. My mother had me believing for YEARS that if I had been a boy, my name would have been Mayo."
"If you stand in front of the microwave while it's in use, your head will explode. Looking back, I think mom just wanted space while she was in the kitchen."
—SkysEevee
"My dad told me that if you wear socks to bed, then you'll get blisters on your feet. Turns out he just hates the feeling of it and didn't want my brothers and me to wear them to bed. I didn't realise until I was in my late 20s and began to question why other people wore them to bed."
"My mom was a neat freak. On Christmas morning, she put a big garbage bag next to the tree. She said if we didn't throw all the wrapping paper in there after every gift was opened, Santa would come back and take the toy away. Then the toys had to be put away neatly in our rooms. No after Christmas debris was around our living room, ever!"
"That the guy that gets eaten in the porta potty at the beginning of Jurassic Park comes back in the end, and he's fine."
—luckytintype
"Mom told me that you have to cut the ends off of carrots so they don't give you a headache. I can see little me peppering her with questions while making dinner and then asking why she cut the ends off of the carrots."
"My dad used to take me mushroom hunting. He told me that if I was too loud, the mushrooms would go back into the earth, like I'd scare them into hiding or something, I guess. I believed him and kept quiet. In my mid-20s (!) I was looking for mushrooms with a guy I was dating and some of his friends. They were being loud; we were drinking beer, smoking, and generally making a ruckus as we made our way through the forest. I advised them to keep it down so we could find the mushrooms."
"My dad told me the ice cream truck only plays music when it's out of ice cream. I thought we were just really unlucky every summer."
—altaf770
"My parents told me I was only allowed to eat as much of a vegetable as my age. For example, at 3, they would 'allow' three peas on my plate. Apparently, I would beg for more veggies because I felt that I was old enough and sophisticated enough for more. Fifty-plus years later, I still love vegetables, so score one for mind games."
"That eating crust from pizza and toast was good for your teeth. I believed that my entire life until about a year ago. I'm 28 years old. One day, I just decided to Google it after randomly thinking about it, and yeah, it's not true. They just wanted me to eat the crust instead of throwing it away."
And finally, "When I was five, we moved. And sometimes I'd get up in the middle of the night. My dad would always be awake; he wasn't yet medicated for bipolar. And he'd take me outside and show me the constellations and tell me about each one. It was a few years later that I learned that the constellations aren't supposed to change every night. He was just pointing to the stars and making up a new story for each thing we saw. It was beautiful."
—crrrrushinator
Do you have a similar story to share? Tell me all about it in the comments or via the anonymous form below: