CHRISTOPHER BUCKTIN: 'Naked man hides in sunbed after trying to burn down gym'
Donald Trump has once again proven he is the most mathematically illiterate US president to ever walk the face of the earth.
In a rambling speech, the US leader rattled off a series of impossible promises that would make even a calculator give up and walk off the job.
'We will have reduced drug prices by 1,000%, by 1,100%, 1,200%, 1,300%, 1,400%, 700%, 600%,' Trump proudly announced, as if counting backwards from reality.
'Not 30% or 40% or 50%. But numbers the likes of which you've never even dreamed of.'
He's not wrong, because no one with a functioning brain has ever dreamed of prices dropping more than 100%, unless the plan is for pharmacies to start paying customers to take pills.
Critics were quick to point out that the math defies every economic principle short of science fiction. But in Trump's world, facts are fake news and maths is just another Deep State conspiracy.
*** Florida deputies were called to a Planet Fitness gym in San Carlos Park after a naked man allegedly tried to burn the place down.
Henry Antunez-Alvarado, 25, had reportedly been asked to leave at closing time but instead he stripped down, ran amok, and attempted a bizarre blend of yoga, parkour and arson.
Security footage shows him streaking through multiple rooms, climbing into the ceiling like a raccoon, and eventually hiding - still stark naked - inside a tanning bed.
Deputies charged him with indecent exposure, arson, criminal mischief, and giving false ID.
Planet Fitness is famous for promoting a 'Judgement-Free Zone', but this might be pushing it.
*** It's happy hour by mistake. High Noon has issued a voluntary recall after some of its vodka seltzer cans were accidentally labelled as energy drinks.
The mix-up, affecting packs shipped between July 21 and 23, has officials worried that unsuspecting gym-goers could chug a cocktail instead of a caffeine boost.
*** Officials at a South Carolina nuclear facility got more than a sting when they discovered a wasp nest emitting 100,000 disintegrations per minute - a moderately high level of radiation.
The Department of Energy report says the glowing hive was found near a tank at the Savannah River Site and is considered 'legacy contamination', meaning it's haunted by radiation past, not present.
So no, the wasps didn't break into the reactor... but they are now officially more dangerous than your average garden nuisance. *** In a move straight out of a sci-fi wildlife documentary, University of Florida researchers have unleashed 40 solar-powered, remote-controlled robot bunnies into South Florida.
Stuffed with heaters and motors instead of fluff, these fake marsh rabbits are designed to mimic the favourite snack of Burmese pythons, the massive invasive snakes that have turned the Everglades into their personal buffet since slithering in via the exotic pet trade.
They hope the robot rabbits will help catch some of the serpents to stop them from breeding.
*** Sometimes sharing a famous name isn't all it's cracked up to be.
Geoffrey Epstein is running for mayor of Framingham, Massachusetts and no, not that Epstein.
Despite being very much alive and not a disgraced financier, Geoff still gets flooded with online comments like 'show us the list'. One internet geek even posted his campaign flyer asking, 'Is this guy for real?'
Supporters were quick to defend him: 'He's got good ideas about the city's finances,' said one.
Just, maybe skip the name tags.
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Scottish Sun
22 minutes ago
- Scottish Sun
Whether you like it or not, Donald Trump has his moments – you can't help admire how gallus he is
A FEW days of Donald Trump all up in your grill and it becomes easier to see why so many Americans have bought into him. The guy was on transmit from the moment he touched down here to visit his two Scottish golf courses until the moment he left. 3 If you tune in long enough, Trump will eventually say something you agree with. Credit: AFP 3 You can't help but admire how gallus he is, writes Bill Leckie Credit: Getty And the fact is that if you tune in long enough, he'll eventually say something you agree with. Sure, you'll have to wade through a morass of childish nonsense to get there. And, yes, chances are it'll be something that bears no relation to the actual subject he's meant to be talking about. But just as a 36-handicap golfer might one day get a hole in one, so Trump has his moments that you find yourself agreeing with, whether you want to or not. Try walking the walk, Nic WEE Nicola says women politicians need to support each other more to combat the levels of abuse highlighted in a new report on gender inequality in politics. You know, the way she reacted to former Prime Minister Theresa May's coughing fit at a Tory conference by turning up on an SNP platform laughing and waving a packet of Strepsils. So, when your electorate has the attention span of an elderly goldfish, and when he repeats so much of what he says in social media snippets . . . well, no wonder he's become a master of the kind of soundbite that sways polls. It's not a healthy way for politics to go. It's the death of reasoned debate at the knifepoint of arrogant bluster. He remains the embodiment of the belief that the longer and louder you keep telling a lie, the quicker it becomes accepted as the truth. It's easy from a pond's width to wonder how someone this transparent has managed to con the world's biggest democracy not once, but twice. Then you see him in action on your own doorstep. And for all that it doesn't make him any less dislike- able, you can't help but admire how gallus he is. Donald Trump hits first ever shot at opening of new Trump North Sea links golf course Busybodies don't give us weather warnings… they give us stupidity warnings AS I write this, it's blowing a gale, but the rain's just stopped and the sun's come out. No, scrub that – it WAS sunny until halfway through that sentence, then it went back to being battleship grey overhead. And now, 40-odd words in, it's hosing down again. In other words, just another Scottish day of four seasons in the blink of an eye. The kind of day when we all used to live by the words of Billy Connolly that there's no such thing as bad weather, only the wrong clothes. The kind of day, sadly, that no longer exists now we've been brainwashed into believing the world's about to end just because it's a little big windier or wetter or hotter than it's meant to be. Welcome to the era of the Weather Event, when anything above a little bit blowy needs to be called a storm and when storms need to be given names. Which is when the problems REALLY start. 3 Welcome to the era of the Weather Event, when anything above a little bit blowy needs to be called a storm Credit: Reuters See, the human brain is brilliant at dealing with everyday stuff that it keeps in its filing cabinets, stuff so normal that it becomes second nature — and in this dreich-ish little country where we live, nothing becomes more second nature-ish than dealing with the climate. Example? You look outside, it's bright and sunny. You go outside and it's deceptively Baltic. You go back in and get a jumper. It's simple as that, Or, at least, it used to be. But now? Suddenly we're losing our minds about something this basic; or, maybe more accurately, the forecasters and the government and all sorts of other busybodies are hell-bent on trying to MAKE us lose our minds. For instance, first thing yesterday there was a statement issued by a guy called Jim Dale from an organisation called British Weather Services which read: 'Remember, this is summertime — and a Bank Holiday in Scotland — so some 'summer articles' in gardens and on beaches are going to be there; slides, picnic tables, swings, all ready to by thrown around by the wind. 'That's the danger we've got at the moment. These warnings are put out for very good reason. 'If you're venturing out, keep away from the forest and keep away from the coastal plain where the sea will be coming in.' Next thing, ScotRail was putting out an appeal for us to 'secure garden furniture, trampolines and tents' so they don't 'blow onto the tracks'. I'm sorry, but these aren't weather warnings. They're STUPIDITY warnings. The perfect example of organisations nannying the life out of us, making out that we're incapable of calculating the simplest decisions that dictate our own comfort and safety. And you know what? Anyone who really is stupid enough to NEED advice like this probably deserves to become a victim of natural selection anyway. If that sounds harsh, good. Because I'm sick of this concept that we need our hand held over so many things as our brain — the most phenomenally-complex and brilliant computer that will ever exist — is somehow considered incapable of understanding what's good and bad for our health. We see it in dumb-as-a-stone food packaging, like the packet of couscous I bought the other day with a picture on the front of a bowl of couscous and the words 'serving suggestion'. We see it in trigger warnings at the start of TV shows made in the Seventies and Eighties which apparently may contain content that doesn't align with how we see things in 2025. We hear it in the pointless apologies from telly and radio sports commentators when an effects microphone picks up some 'bad' language. That one really gets me. I mean, is it really anything we don't hear every day? Can we not make our own minds up about whether we approve or disapprove, about whether or not we want to tut and switch off? Plus, where's the sense in apologising for something that the commentator isn't responsible for? It's all part of this idiotic, scared-of-their-own-shadows attitude that's sweeping through society and which looms over us darker than ever whenever one of these 'weather events' comes around. This isn't to say that Storm Whatever-They-Called-It didn't cause a lot of people some inconvenience, that it didn't disrupt travel or force events to be cancelled or leave damage in its wake. All I'm saying is that this is what the weather's always done, right back to the dawn of time. And that not only have we always survived, but we've learned from it and developed new and better ways of coping. You just wouldn't think so from the way we're mollycoddled through this sort of — and I'm a little sick in my mouth even writing the word — crisis. We're resilient, us humans. Most of us want to get to work no matter what, to push ahead with our leisure plans, to keep the world turning. And 99.999 per cent of us tend not to play frisbee with trampolines near railway lines. But whereas throughout history it's been down to the other 0.001 per cent of the population to either learn NOT to do stupid things or suffer the consequences, today we're all judged by their lack of basic common sense. Anyway, I'm away for the messages now. In shorts, a parka, flip-flops and a balaclava. Because it's great being Scottish. And a little bit mental.
Daily Mirror
23 minutes ago
- Daily Mirror
MIKEY SMITH: 7 unhinged Donald Trump moments as he gets really weird about Sydney Sweeney
Trump took to the airwaves this morning, spouting a torrent of untruths in lengthy and increasingly unhinged rants Donald Trump has returned from another weekend of golf - and jumped straight into a day of lies, falsehoods and being weird about young women. Not satisfied with firing the head of a government body that delivered some statistics he didn't like, Trump took to the airwaves this morning, spouting a torrent of untruths in lengthy and increasingly unhinged rants. Also, he's being weird about Sydney Sweeney in perhaps the most predictable turn of events in his Presidency so far. It comes after he made a major change to the White House that people are very upset about. Here's everything that's happened in Trump World in the last 24 hours that you need to know about. Deep breaths, we're going in. 1. Donald Trump keeps telling you to reject the evidence of your eyes and ears Trump is still fuming about those job numbers that were published on Friday. You remember, the ones that were so bad that Trump decided to shoot the messenger and fire the head of the Bureau of Labour Statistics (BLS). Erika McEntarfer was confirmed as commissioner of the BLS last year, with the Senate voting in favour by 86 to 8. She was a credible, career public servant who just happened to have been hired during the Biden administration. And because Trump didn't like the numbers her organisation announced on Friday, he smeared her as a political operative and accused her baselessly of essentially committing fraud. He claimed the numbers were "RIGGED in order to make the Republicans and ME, look bad." And on the tarmac at Allentown airfield in Pennsylvania, as he switched between Marine One and Air Force One, Trump indicated he was still fuming. "The numbers were ridiculous, that she a scam, in my opinion. In my opinion it's just additional scam." 2. Trump has some thoughts about Sydney Sweeney You will be delighted to learn that 79-year-old convicted felon and, according to a New York Court, sex abuser Donald Trump has some thoughts about 27 year old actor Sydney Sweeney. It follows the definitely not confcted discourse carnage after she featured in an American Eagle advert with the slogan "Sydney Sweeney has great genes". While people were working out whether the ads were a bit Nazi, or just thirsty, someone looked her up and found she was a registered Republican. Well, someone told Trump that during a huddle on the tarmac and he "She's a registered Republican?" he said. "Ohhh, now I love her ad. Is that right? Is Sydney Sweeney? I wouldn't have known, but I'm glad you told me that. "If Sydney Sweeney is a registered Republican, I think her ad is fantastic." He went on to describe the ad as "the "HOTTEST" ad out there" on Truth Social, and compared it to the "TOTAL DISASTER" of Jaguar's "WOKE" rebrand. Then, for some reason he brought up Taylor Swift. "Just look at Woke singer Taylor Swift. Ever since I alerted the world as to what she was by saying on TRUTH that I can't stand her (HATE!). She was booed out of the Super Bowl and became NO LONGER HOT" None of these things are true. 3. Democrats flee Texas so Trump can't rig the midterms Meanwhile, Democrats in Texas have literally fled the state to avoid Trump's Republicans re-drawing the constituency map to rig the mid-term elections. The Republican-dominated House was unable to establish the quorum of lawmakers required to do business. Texas Gov. Greg Abbott has made threats about removing members who are absent from their seats. And the House quickly issued civil arrest warrants for absent Democrats and Abbott ordered state troopers to help find and arrest them, but lawmakers physically outside Texas are beyond the jurisdiction of state authorities. Trump, calling into CNBC this morning, was pretty straightforward about what the aim of the gerrymandering is. "We have an opportunity in Texas to pick up five seats..." He said. "I got the highest vote in the history of Texas as you probably know. And we are entitled to five more seats." 4. Obama and co to face a Grand Jury Trump is delighted to hear that a Grand Jury will be set up to consider the harebrained conspiracy nonsense the Justice Department keep pumping out making unsubstantiated claims of election interference and manufacturing intelligence, neither of which are actually crimes. Even if they found a crime to claim was committed - say, obstruction of justice - the statute of limitations is 5 years on that, so they'd be SOL with that too. It's almost like this isn't actually about indictments and prosecutions, and all about trying to steal news cycles away from Jeffrey Epstein. Either way, Trump is delighted. "You've talked how you want success, not retribution," CNBC host Joe Kernan said, incredibly charitably. "The DOJ is now tapping a grand jury to look into the intelligence community's assessment of what was happening with Russia. "You have nothing to do with directing that?" "Nope," Trump replied. "I have nothing to do with it. I will tell you this, they deserve it. I was happy to hear it." 5. 'We can't relitigate that' In the same interview, Trump repeatedly lied about the 2020 election being "rigged", which countless court cases and investigations have proved it was not. Still, the best Kernan could do was to tell the President: "We can't relitigate that". 6. Trump says he'd "like to run again" Trump said (again) that he got the highest numbers in the history of Texas - adding: "A record that won't be beat unless I run again..." Asked if he was going to run again, which would be illegal, Trump said: " not." Of course, he couldn't just leave that hanging. "I'd like to..." He added. 7. ...and he keeps lying about his numbers - even when challenged Then he went into an unhinged (and entirely untrue) rant about how his numbers are the best he's ever had, and that his approval is up in the 70s. "I have the best poll numbers I ever had," he said. Kernen, to his credit, corrected the President, saying his numbers are only good "among Republicans". "No. I'm talking about generally," Trump insisted. Kernen (sigh)... said: "Your haters cite polls that have you down in the 30s." To be clear, it's not just the "haters" who have Trump down in the 30s. It's people who are at all interested in facts and reality. "They're fake polls," Trump retorted. "You also have me in the 70s." He also went on at length about a segment CNN analyst Harry Enten presented a day earlier, where he "went crazy about how well Trump was doing." The segment he was referring to - which has generated a huge number of complaints to CNN - saw Enten declare Trump "the most influential President" this century. Didn't say anything about his poll numbers, though. So where are Trump's numbers? Get Donald Trump updates straight to your WhatsApp! As the world attempts to keep up with Trump's antics, the Mirror has launched its very own US Politics WhatsApp community where you'll get all the latest news from across the pond. We'll send you the latest breaking updates and exclusives all directly to your phone. Users must download or already have WhatsApp on their phones to join in. All you have to do to join is click on this link, select 'Join Chat' and you're in! We may also send you stories from other titles across the Reach group. We will also treat our community members to special offers, promotions, and adverts from us and our partners. If you don't like our community, you can check out any time you like. To leave our community click on the name at the top of your screen and choose Exit group. If you're curious, you can read our Privacy Notice. Well, according to The New York Times' poll of polls, he's averaging 44%, which is the second worst of any President at this point in their term. Who was the worst? He was, in his first term. Is he less popular than Joe Biden? You bet he is. On Day 198 of his presidency, Biden was +9 approve. Trump is +9 disapprove. And the most recent polls are pretty eye-watering. YouGov's poll, published today, sees Trump hit an astonishing +14 points net disapprove - with his approval on just 41%. And another published this week by Leger had the same net +14 disapprove, with just 37% of those polled saying they approved of his performance.
Telegraph
23 minutes ago
- Telegraph
Switzerland scrambles after Trump makes it Europe's biggest loser
For more than 200 years, Switzerland's approach to foreign policy has been to stay neutral. Yet when it comes to Donald Trump, a man who demands loyalty, neutrality doesn't get you much. The peace-loving Alpine nation has found itself at the forefront of Trump's erratic trade war, with exports such as Swiss chocolate and watches now subject to US tariffs of 39pc. 'Basically, we are all shocked,' says Jan Atteslander from Economiesuisse, a business lobby organisation representing 100,000 businesses in the country. 'We are one of the most open economic partners of the US. We have no tariff and non-tariff barriers for US goods or services. We are number six for foreign direct [investment] in the US. 'In this context, to find early on Friday, at 3am, that you are among the four countries that have – by way out now – the highest import tariffs in the US across the board, it's really a shock.' The outcome could hardly be worse: Only Syria, Laos and Myanmar face steeper rates than Switzerland of up to 41pc. Even Taliban-run Afghanistan was handed a more favourable deal of 15pc. To add insult to injury, the announcement came on Switzerland's National Day. 'There are two days in the year – one is Christmas, and the other one is Aug 1 – where normal people are on holiday,' shrugs Atteslander. The tariff shock has left Bern scrambling. Karin Keller-Sutter, the Swiss president, and Guy Parmelin, the economy minister, are flying to the US on Tuesday for crisis talks. It comes after a disastrous last-ditch call between the Swiss leader and Trump late on Thursday. The unexpected tariff blow has unleashed anger and soul-searching in Switzerland, with the tabloid Blick declaring it the country's greatest defeat since a battle against France in 1515, which ushered in its policy of international neutrality. 'We're joining the Canadians in protest against the US,' says Nikolay Markov, an economist at Pictet Asset Management in Geneva. He argues that the Swiss shouldn't have been caught flat-footed. 'It shouldn't be surprising because Switzerland has a significant trade surplus with the US. That's one of the reasons why Switzerland is on the monitoring watch list of the US treasury,' he says. Switzerland sold £28.8bn more goods to the US last year than it bought, with £47.6bn-worth of items heading to America. Exports range from luxury watches to precision instruments such as pneumatic screwdrivers and micrometres to medicines and Nespresso pods. Its trade surplus with the world's largest economy grew by 56.1pc from 2023. Trump initially subjected Switzerland to import duties of 31pc on 'liberation day' on April 2. Most goods exports, apart from pharmaceuticals and gold, will be subject to the new tariff from Thursday unless Keller-Sutter can strike a better deal. The US president has demanded that Swiss drugmakers lower their prices, an issue that may well come up in negotiations. Swiss business leaders and politicians are, for now trying to keep cool heads, hoping that this will be another example of the phenomenon that traders refer to as 'Taco': Trump always chickens out. While the president likes to announce large headline rates, he tends to use them as a bludgeon to negotiate better deals rather than following through. The stakes are high. Markov says he initially expected tariffs to shave 0.2pc of the Swiss economy's growth. 'Now it's 1.8pc, so it implies no growth for Switzerland in the coming year. It really changes the economic outlook – potentially materially,' he says. Such a knock to growth would plunge Switzerland into a technical recession and leave many workers unemployed. Chocolatiers are among those bracing for the impact. 'It's quite a shock because with tariffs at that level, it will be hard to serve the US market,' says Roger Wehrli. He is the Bern-based chief executive of Chocosuisse and Biscosuisse, trade bodies representing chocolatiers and confectionery makers. 'Combined with the exchange rate changes, this leads to an increase of costs in certain US markets by around 55pc compared to the beginning of the year,' he says. He warns that Switzerland being singled out leaves it particularly vulnerable. 'The UK has only a tariff of 10pc, the European Union 15pc. So our companies will have a comparative disadvantage. This leads to the conclusion that if this tariff remains, a lot of companies will pull out of the US market,' Wehrli says. The 39pc rate is beyond even the worst-case scenarios companies had planned for, Wehrli says. He also fears the wider damage to the Swiss economy. 'When we look at this economy in general, we export around 15pc to the United States. I'm very much concerned. It will pose severe challenges to the labour market.' Atteslander at trade body Economiesuisse says: 'There are thousands of jobs at risk, but I can't really tell if it is really going to happen or not.' For now, companies like Swatch are temporarily able to rely on all of the stock they rushed into the US in the first half of the year. The watchmaker has enough sitting in US warehouses to last it for at least three to six months, according to its chief executive. Knife maker Victorinox, another Swiss brand, meanwhile, said it was looking to make its operations more efficient through automation and 'collaborative solutions with our distribution partners'. 'This is not the first big challenge these export companies have faced over the last 15 to 20 years,' says Atteslander. If 39pc tariffs do remain in place, companies could explore workarounds. One unlikely benefactor of Trump's trade offensive could be Slovenia, according to Markov, the economist in Geneva. 'Slovenia is a major trading partner and is part of the European Union and the eurozone, so they're subject to 15pc tariffs. Switzerland could, to some extent, bypass the 39pc tariffs by exporting to Slovenia for re-exports to the US.' Swiss pharmaceuticals have already invested billions into production facilities in the small central European nation. Other industries could follow. Ultimately, though, Swiss leaders will be hoping to avoid all that. The federal council – the country's governing cabinet – on Monday said Switzerland was prepared to make a 'more attractive offer' to Trump in an effort to negotiate lower tariffs.
