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The Essential Is Invisible to the Eyes
'I want to be great or nothing,' a famous quote by Louisa May Alcott, captures the mindset many of us adopt without realizing it. We are often driven by internal pressure and external expectations, forgetting that not every moment needs to be productive or perfect. In an exclusive interview with the MTV website, clinical psychologist Mira Dali Balta discusses the tension between creativity, pressure, and the importance of embracing discomfort. 'Children are wired for exploration and play,' Dali Balta explains. 'As children, our nervous system thrives on discovery. At that stage, we do not yet face societal expectations.' As we grow older, this natural drive for play and discovery changes. 'Adults live in a world that rewards achievement and output. Over time, we internalize the belief that time must always be spent efficiently. When our actions do not lead to visible improvement or profit, we begin to feel guilty for resting or enjoying ourselves. This guilt is largely driven by societal pressure.' Dali Balta notes that even hobbies, which should offer restoration and flow, can turn into performance-based obligations. 'With pressure, a hobby can become just another task on the to-do list. This shift can lead to anxiety, burnout, and even creative paralysis. There is no longer a connection with the body. Everything becomes mechanical. In this state, people often think that if something is not perfect, it is not worth doing.' She points out that the idea that everything should be useful and productive begins early in life. 'This mindset often starts in nursery and early school years. Fun and play are replaced with a focus on grades, achievement, and praise. This shift is reinforced by family dynamics, social norms, and now more than ever by social media, where everyone wants to present a polished success story.' Adults, she says, often fear being seen as struggling or unskilled. 'While children are allowed to make mistakes and learn from them, adults are expected to know better. As we age, we begin to associate our worth with our level of competence.' Dali Balta stresses the importance of recognizing the value of discomfort. 'Discomfort is a natural part of living a meaningful life. However, many adults try to avoid it because they have been taught that emotional pain must be fixed rather than felt. But discomfort is often the price we pay for the things that matter. If you want creativity, you must face doubt. If you want growth, you must face failure. If you want deep relationships, you must face vulnerability.' Avoiding discomfort, she explains, might bring short-term relief but can lead to long-term limitations. 'This kind of experiential avoidance shrinks our lives. It is important to move toward what matters, even if it feels difficult.' Dali Balta adds that discomfort can actually benefit us if we are willing to face it. 'Discomfort helps us expand our window of tolerance. In contrast, perfectionism thrives on control. To truly live, we must learn to embrace the mess.' She encourages developing a beginner's mindset. 'Psychological flexibility means being present with uncertainty and with our emotions without the need to control or fix them. Our feelings are not problems. They are experiences. What truly matters is the process, not just the outcome.' 'Vulnerability,' she says, 'is the bridge between our socially conditioned self and our authentic inner child. Creativity and joy live in that same space.' For those who want to reconnect with their sense of curiosity, Dali Balta advises, 'Start small. Give yourself permission to be messy. This is not a switch that can be flipped. It is a process. Surround yourself with people who support you and make you feel safe.' As Antoine de Saint-Exupéry wrote, 'The essential is invisible to the eyes.'
