Best of The Babylon Bee: French prez Macron claims he fell down stairs again
Every week, The Post will bring you our picks of the best one-liners and stories from satirical site the Babylon Bee to take the edge off Hump Day. Want more of a chuckle? Be sure to click the links.
'It's fine. I'm fine. We're all fine here, now, thank you. How are you?' Macron replied to media questions while gingerly touching a swollen and bruised eye. READ MORE
Although witnesses said that they did not hear the South African president agree to watch the film, Ramaphosa was reportedly in good spirits throughout the viewing. READ MORE
GOP senators were reportedly surprised to find out that they were joined by their Democrat colleagues, with Senate Minority Leader Chuck Schumer being elated to support the measure. READ MORE
As the only entity to actually do Harvard coursework over the past four years, ChatGPT earned both valedictorian and salutatorian honors. READ MORE
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CNN
30 minutes ago
- CNN
Trump lays into Musk, suggesting he has ‘Trump derangement syndrome'
President Donald Trump appeared to confirm the deterioration of his relationship with Elon Musk, saying he was 'very disappointed' in the tech billionaire after Musk repeatedly blasted the president's sweeping domestic agenda bill in recent days. 'Elon and I had a great relationship. I don't know if we will anymore,' Trump told reporters in the Oval Office less than one week after the two exchanged effusive praise on Musk's last day as a special government employee. Since then, Musk has strongly criticized what Trump calls his 'Big, Beautiful Bill' that has passed the House and faces an uncertain path forward in the Senate. On Tuesday, Musk called the bill a 'disgusting abomination.' Trump and Musk have not spoken since Musk lashed out at the legislation, a source familiar with the dynamic told CNN. 'He knew every aspect of this bill. He knew it better than almost anybody, and he never had a problem until right after he left,' Trump said, adding that while Musk has not yet personally attacked him, the president expected that could be next. Trump repeatedly claimed that Musk's concerns with the bill were centered on the repeal of electric vehicle subsidies that benefitted Tesla. Musk has admitted his company has struggled in the wake of his political involvement. Musk didn't wait to respond, posting his reactions in real time on his social media platform X. 'Without me, Trump would have lost the election, Dems would control the House and the Republicans would be 51-49 in the Senate,' Musk said. He added: 'Such ingratitude.' Musk denied Trump's claim that the Tesla CEO knew the inner workings of the bill ahead of time, and countered that the elimination of EV tax incentives has nothing to do with his opposition to the massive domestic policy bill. 'Whatever. Keep the EV/solar incentive cuts in the bill, even though no oil & gas subsidies are touched (very unfair!!), but ditch the MOUNTAIN of DISGUSTING PORK in the bill' Musk in a separate post. 'In the entire history of civilization, there has never been legislation that both big and beautiful. Everyone knows this! Either you get a big and ugly bill or a slim and beautiful bill. Slim and beautiful is the way.' One Republican strategist who has worked closely with the tech billionaire downplayed the idea that Musk's opposition is only about the EV subsidies, telling CNN that Musk was genuinely troubled by projections of how much the bill would add to the deficit – the reasoning Musk has publicly cited on multiple occasions. The nonpartisan Congressional Budget Office has estimated that the legislation passed by the House would increase the deficit by $2.4 trillion. During Thursday's Oval Office appearance alongside German Chancellor Friedrich Merz, Trump reminisced about his campaign bromance with Musk, who contributed at least a quarter-billion dollars to efforts supporting Trump's 2024 presidential bid and once called himself Trump's 'first buddy.' 'Elon endorsed me very strongly. He actually went up and campaigned for me. I think I would have won – Susie would say I would have won Pennsylvania easily anyway,' Trump said, referring to his chief of staff Susie Wiles, appearing to hint at tensions between Wiles and Musk. Trump appeared to moderate his tone at times, saying he 'always liked Elon' – before implicitly accusing him of so-called 'Trump Derangement Syndrome.' 'He's not the first – people leave my administration, and they love us, and then at some point they miss it so badly, and some of them embrace it, and some of them actually become hostile. I don't know what it is. It's sort of 'Trump derangement syndrome,' I guess they call it, but we have it with others too,' he said. 'They leave, and they wake up in the morning, and the glamour is gone,' he continued. 'The whole world is different, and they become hostile. I don't know what it is.' Kristen Holmes contributed to this report.
New York Post
32 minutes ago
- New York Post
Hedge fund titan Ken Griffin rips White House over tax bill
Hedge fund titan Ken Griffin ramped up his war of words with the Trump White House on Wednesday, blasting the president's so-called 'Big, Beautiful' tax bill for adding to Uncle Sam's eye-popping $36 trillion debt pile. The 56-year-old CEO of Citadel, who is worth $42 billion according to Forbes, told the business magazine's annual Iconoclast summit in New York City that if the bill passed, the country would 'unquestionably add several trillion dollars' to the US debt. 'There are a lot of question marks as to why we are continuing to restart tax cuts when we have a fiscal deficit that is this big,' Griffin said at the business magazine's annual Iconoclast summit in lower Manhattan Advertisement 4 Griffin warned that the Trump tax bill will only add to America's debt pile. REUTERS 'The United States' fiscal house is not in order,' Griffin added. 'You cannot run deficits of 6 or 7% at full employment after years of growth. That is just fiscally irresponsible.' Analysis by the nonpartisan Congressional Budget Office forecasts that there is a $2.4 trillion black hole in the president's flagship tax bill. Griffin, who moved his firm from Chicago to Miami in 2022, likewise warned that the administration should rein in spending and that investors are already worried about America's finances — posing major risks in the bond markets. Advertisement 'US default prices are probably the same as Italy or Greece,' he said, referring to the so-called credit default swap markets where investors can bet on whether someone will fail to pay their bills. The GOP megadonor also took aim at Trump for criticizing Walmart CEO Doug McMillon after he warned of needing to raise prices in response to higher import costs. 'We should not criticize CEOs for being honest, right? And that's all the CEO of Walmart was doing,' he told the audience in lower Manhattan. 'Shame on the administration.' Advertisement The Post has approached the White House for comment. 4 Elon Musk, who has only recently left the Trump administration, has been repeatedly griping about the bill on his social media platform X, formerly known as Twitter. REUTERS More broadly, Griffin lamented the 'uncertainty' that now clouds investment decisions in the US as a result of policies that have 'called into question American exceptionalism.' 'The administration's attempts to use tariffs come at a dear price for the US economy and come at a dear price for the US consumers, who will undoubtedly pay higher prices,' Griffin told the audience at the upmarket Cipriani ballroom on Broadway in lower Manhattan. Advertisement 'Why do we aspire to bring back to the United States jobs that are actually moving out of China into lower-cost jurisdictions? Why are we aspiring to be the nation of the lowest cost and the lowest-paid workforce in the world? That makes no sense to me.' 4 The tariff tiff blew up at the Beverly Hills Hilton where Trump's allies organized a rival VIP welcome party to go up against Griffin's traditional Milken opener. Bloomberg via Getty Images Griffin, who voted for Trump in November's presidential election, has been a staunch critic of his administration's tariff and trade policies since the real estate mogul's second inauguration earlier this year. The row between the two men spilled over at the Milken Institute Global Conference in Beverly Hills last month, where allies of President Trump organized a rival VIP welcome bash to go up against the Citadel supremo's traditional opening reception. Trump unveiled his tariff plans on April 2, which he dubbed Liberation Day, as he sought to renegotiate new trade deals with countries he believed were treating the United States unfairly. 4 Griffin used a Forbes summit to launch a string of broadsides at the Trump administration over its trade and tariff policies. AP The move has since faced a string of legal challenges, with negotiations failing to bear any fruit until now, apart from an agreement with post-Brexit Britain that was announced on May 8. But discussions with the European Union, one of America's largest trading partners, have faltered, as The Post exclusively reported on May 7.
New York Post
34 minutes ago
- New York Post
I'm a superyacht nanny — I get paid to travel the world in luxury while watching rich people's kids
BB Smalls wasn't looking for a free ride when she signed on as a nanny to Hollywood honchos, globally-renowned rock stars and bigwig billionaires. But free first-class flights to Bora Bora, $100,000 rooms at the St. Regis Resort and bougie boating excursions along the Amalfi Coast are exactly what she got — not to mention routine shopping sprees at Gucci, Chanel and Louis Vuitton — while on the job. 'I've been everywhere: Maui, Tahiti, London, Italy, Scotland, you name it,' Smalls, 44, from Los Angeles, tells The Post. Advertisement Nondisclosure agreements bar her from spilling the secrets and specifics of her eccentric ex-bosses. But Smalls, now a married stay-at-home mom living in Texas, says, 'Nannying for the right people means getting paid to travel.' She's in the 40% of childcare providers who are 'superyacht nannies,' and regularly globetrot, by sky, land or sea, to luxe locations with their employers, per data via the International Nanny Association. 9 BB Smalls has been living a grand life as a superyacht nanny to the rich and famous. Courtesy BB Smalls Advertisement It's a post that grants kiddo pros the opportunity to see the sights, as well as how the top 1% travels, for free. The super lucky even get to nanny on superyachts, vacation vessels spanning over 80 feet in length, which are roughly twice the length of an average yacht. The behemoths come fully staffed with a captain and crew. Chartering the megacruisers can cost between $100,000 and more than $1 million per week, depending on size, time of year and onboard amenities, such as helipads, movie theatres, Jacuzzis and gyms. But most A-list showboats like Mark Zuckerberg, who paid a reported $300 million for his 387-foot superyacht, and Jeff Bezos, with his 417-foot, $500 million ship, rarely sweat over dollars and cents. Advertisement 9 Ella Peters has been a superyacht nanny for a decade. Ella Peters/ Ella Peters, a superyacht nanny of nearly 10 years, said that during peak yachting season, June through August, she's often booked for back-to-back trips with a revolving door of well-to-do employers from NYC, Europe and the Middle East. 'I do love the job,' the 28-year-old owner of UK's tells The Post. 'But it is exhausting.' She charges around $500 per day for her on-ship sitter services. However, her fees, not including the standard 'four-figure tip' she typically receives, can increase according to the number of children aboard and their ages. Advertisement 9 Peters' job has taken her all over the world. Ella Peters/ Like Smalls, Peters works for internationally known hotshots whose names must remain hush-hush due to NDAs. Her upper-crust clients routinely rent nearly 300-foot-long tubs, costing over $1 million per week, for family cruises through the Mediterranean. The preferred path they sail is famously known as 'The Milk Run.' On it, tycoons tour the south of France, Corsica and Sardinia, Italy — home to Costa Smeralda, nicknamed 'billionaires' playground,' owing to its turquoise waters, fine-sand shores and chichi beach clubs. 'It has everything my ultrahigh net worth families want,' said Peters. 'My favorite 'pinch me' moment was driving myself and my 11-year-old charge on a jet ski through the famous Faraglioni rocks in Capri, Italy,' the Londoner said. 9 Peters said her clients are 'ultrahigh net worth families,' but NDAs forbid her from disclosing whom she's worked for. Ella Peters/ Still, Smalls, who recently left VIP nannying for content creation, says working for the uberwealthy wasn't always smooth sailing. 'One Bel Air family wanted me to nanny for them on a yacht for an entire month, but I wasn't allowed to be seen,' she recalled of the odd demand. 'If either parent walked into a room that I was in, I'd have to hide and hold in place until they left the room.' Advertisement 'During my downtime on the yacht, I'd have to stay out of sight and be banished to my room.' But Peters has only had stellar experiences — and very little downtime — while minding mini moguls on the waves. 'I get up before the children and try to drink some coffee in peace,' Peters says. 'When you're onboard, you have to put in effort to get a few moments to yourself. After that, everything is go, go, go.' But her skills are worth every penny. Advertisement 9 Peters does everything from feeding the kids breakfasts aboard the ship to accompanying them on jet ski rides. Ella Peters/ Peters comes fully equipped with pediatric first-aid training, police background clearance, nanny insurance, water safety training and a personal watercraft license — documents that permit her to operate jet skis and paddle boats. And while their moneyed mommies and daddies play, she entertains the tots all day. 'After my coffee, I greet the kids in the morning as they wake up, then feed them a small breakfast before we do arts and crafts,' Peters began. Advertisement Depending on the size of the superyacht, she either gets her own room, bunks with the babies or shares living quarters with a crew member. 9 Peters said the best route to sail is famously known as 'The Milk Run,' which goes through the south of France, Corsica and Sardinia, Italy — home to Costa Smeralda, nicknamed 'billionaires' playground.' Ella Peters/ 'When the parents wake up, the kids have a proper family breakfast with them, then we do a few morning watersports before they do a family-style buffet lunch,' continued the millennial. 'In the afternoon, when the sun is really hot, we do more arts and crafts before doing more water activities or stopping off at a local village for ice cream and exploring.' 'At night, I feed the kids dinner while the parents prepare for their evening plans,' she said of the superpacked schedule. 'Then it's time for bed.' Advertisement 9 Peters said she is booked solid through yacht season to watch kiddos. Ella Peters/ Sarah Leonard, 25, a superyacht nanny from Maryland, however, tells The Post her days on the water are more like walks in the park. 'I spend about four hours a day working with the kids, the rest of the time I'm able to chill on the yacht or maybe explore,' said the Gen Z. She's spent the past two summers as a superyacht nanny for a South African influencer family with a bent towards boating around Turkey, Greece and Italy. 'I was working as a scuba diver in Puerto Rico back in 2023, and I saw a Facebook listing for a yacht nannying position and applied,' said Leonard, a certified rescue diver and CPR expert and former lifeguard. 9 Sarah Leonard, 25, has been a superyacht nanny for the past two summers. @sarahtravelingnanny/TikTok For her, the childcare gig was an unpaid position that came with the perks of enjoying an all-inclusive, saltwater excursion. And the family, comprising a mom, dad and two boys under age 8, treated Leonard like family, giving her a private bedroom and bathroom, including her in family meals and 'gifting' her with a special token of their appreciation at the end of the two-month journey. 9 Leonard wasn't paid for her gig, but got to join a family for two months on their yacht. @sarahtravelingnanny/TikTok But Leonard, who'll be touring Italy and France with new brood this summer, says traveling with little ones is the true gift that keeps on giving. 'I get to experience the world through the eyes of these little kids,' gushed the superyacht nanny. 'It's magical.'
