Married dad stops scam dominatrix from blackmailing him after spending €1,600 on BDSM gear

Sunday World

11 hours ago

The man, who is based in Munster, came clean to his wife.
It hadn't occurred to the man that the photos he saw may have been taken off the internet
A married father in his 60s says he prevented a dominatrix he met online from blackmailing him by coming clean to his wife — who told him she would have hit him "for free.'
The man, who contacted the Sunday World but has asked not to be named, said he was naïve and stupid for engaging with the woman, who first approached him on TikTok. He said he also wanted to warn others not to fall foul the internet scam.
The blackmail victim, who is based in Munster, said the woman told him she could be his S&M 'mistress' and he could be her 'slave'.
'I was on TikTok and this very attractive dominatrix came on and asked 'would you like me to be your mistress?'
It hadn't occurred to the man that the photos he saw may have been taken off the internet
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'She said I do BDSM (bondage, discipline, sadism and masochism). I hadn't even mentioned anything like that on my comments but it was an old fantasy I had years ago. After that she roped me in.'
'It could be an 83-year-old granny for all I know,' the remorseful dad said this week.
He told the Sunday World he foolishly handed over €1,200 through Apple gift cards in a three-week period, which the woman claimed was for S&M gear including a dog collar, handcuffs and a latex suit. She also claimed they would meet up in her 'dungeon'.
He said he never got any of the items and doesn't want them.
'She said we need to pay for special latex clothing. I said 'I wouldn't fit in, I'm 25 stone'. That cost €300, and I was so anxious I said I'd pay for it. Then there was something else and something else for all these gadgets she said she'd use in there.'
The man said after approaching him on TikTok the woman asked him to download an app called Zangi, which is regularly used by online scammers to protect their identity, and that was how she communicated with him.
She asked for payments to be made by buying Apple gift cards and sending her the code, a favoured payment method of online scammers
As soon as it became apparent the man was gullible enough to send the codes, more 'mistresses' began contacting him.
'The next thing another one came on messaging me. I don't know if they're all in cahoots. Then a third one popped up and in the end I gave €1,600 like an absolute f**king idiot. I'm in my 60s and it was just a bit of excitement.'
He said he gave €1,200 to the first 'mistress' and €400 to the second, but had not given anything to the third.
He engaged in sexualised messages and the women sent him back pictures — claiming to be of themselves — and their 'sex dungeons'.
The women claimed to be in Tullamore, Ennis and Cork.
'They sent photos of all these situations. All this sexy gear and all this, ah lord Jesus. The more and more I got roped in and gave more money, the more stupid I was.
The Munster dad said it didn't occur to him at the time that they might have used pictures they had just scraped off the internet and they were just international scammers.
'It was just stupidity on my part,' he said.
The woman also asked that he send details and pictures of himself, which he said he did.
They then asked for his wife's online details and at this point he realised he was being scammed. He now believes that they were going to try to blackmail him by threatening to share all his messages with his spouse.
'They were going to try and blackmail me. They were asking for my wife's profile and wanted pictures of my wife.'
The man contacted the Sunday World this week as he was worried other unsuspecting men could fall victim to blackmail. At this point he hadn't told his wife, but he subsequently confessed all before meeting with our reporter. 'I had to tell her. I told her I was meeting you today here. They can't blackmail me now, I had to tell her. I said 'this is what happened'.
'I just had a mid-life crisis and went nuts.'
He said his wife forgave him and said no-one had died. 'The wife said 'I could have beaten you up for nothing'. I was kind of worried. But she knows now and that was my main concern.
'I never thought they could have taken the pictures from the internet. Even my wife said that to me.'
He also said it hadn't occurred to him initially that the scammers aren't even likely to be based in Ireland.
'I don't know where they actually live. They could be living in Ukraine for all I know.'
Speaking about the first 'mistress' who contacted him, he said: 'I knew by the broken texts that English wasn't her first language. She claimed she was from Cork but I said 'I know you're not from Cork'.'
As part of the scam a man claiming to be based in Athlone selling S&M gear also contacted him to convince him the money he was sending in gift cards would pay for the paraphernalia.
Once again, it didn't occur to him that this 'man' wasn't who he said he was.
'I think they're all tied up together. They said they only take Apple cards. She said you have to buy off this man in Athlone and that's when I knew they were in cahoots.
'You send them on the number and they use it as money. I'd never heard of it before.
'Two have ripped me off so far, the third hasn't — but I haven't given her the opportunity. They say once bitten twice shy. But I was bitten twice. I'm stopped now. I was kind of brainwashed in a sense.'
He said the money was a significant amount as he was on social welfare and relied on cash from his wife to get by.
He said the money he sent the 'mistresses' was money his wife had given him for living expenses, but thankfully she has forgiven him.
'She said 'no-one died, you're alright and we'll get over it'.'
He said he had no intention of alerting gardai to the situation.
'Oh God no, I wouldn't go to the guards about it. I'm well known in the town,' he said.
However, he said he wanted to tell his story to the Sunday World to prevent others from becoming victims.
'If not for me, then to stop some other fool,' he said.