
I stayed in a floating yacht hotel in Europe – we had champagne breakfasts on a budget and even spotted celebs
DAVID WALLIAMS was sitting at the next table offering to massage a newlywed couple.
First morning aboard the Sunborn floating hotel in Gibraltar and the professional extrovert was in full character, engaging with star-struck holidaymakers as only he can, with a twinkle in his eye.
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We arrived too late the night before to catch the Little Britain comic's one-man show at a sports centre but apparently it went down a storm. He has already asked to return for November's literary festival, and it's no surprise.
Gibraltar has for so long been pigeonholed as a stopover for day trippers. Passengers on the 250-odd cruise ships that briefly moor under the Rock's majestic presence dash around to see a few sights but mainly aim to take advantage of the VAT-free shopping.
It's a trend the local tourist board is working hard to reverse.
They want travellers to take more time fully taking in the surprisingly large number of things to do on a tiny sun-kissed slab of Britain at the mouth of the Med.
And when beer is just £3.75 a pint, why not stay longer to enjoy?
Secret bunker
Gibraltar's gripping history has a deep association with our Armed Forces. The Royal Engineers were founded here in the 18th century and practically built the place.
The honeycomb of tunnels dug by clever sappers during World War Two offers a fascinating insight into the work of our determined Armed Forces and the strategic importance of Gibraltar during the conflict.
In one cavern hangs a full-size replica of a legendary Spitfire fighter plane. There is also the spine-chilling story of the Stay Behind Cave — the once secret bunker carved into the heart of the mountain, complete with provisions for a year and a bicycle generator.
An elite group of patriotic volunteers agreed to be sealed off from the outside world for a year and spy on the Axis powers, should Gibraltar get overrun — the ultimate one-way ticket in the line of duty.
From the exotic Moorish times, through the centuries of the British Empire and beyond, there are tours to take and a bloody back story to hear in the name of entertainment.
Strait of Gibraltar Tunnel: A New Bridge Between Continents
My wife and I stayed four nights on the permanently moored Sunborn yacht hotel, anchored flush against the dockside of Gibraltar's Ocean Village.
It's a 5H joint, and the food and service reflects that. Yet even in high season, a spacious double room with a large window can be yours for £185 a night, including champagne breakfast.
Step ashore and you can be seated in one of many lively bars with giant outdoor screens beaming major sports from back home.
If that's not for you, just 50 yards away is Little Bay Restaurant — a vibrant Indian fusion eaterie where bubbly manager Kelly welcomes you with warm cockney charm, before delicately blended curries combined with zingy cocktails top off an early summer evening.
Gibraltar's biggest attraction in every sense is the looming mound of limestone that dominates everything here.
Get to the top via the scenic cable car and peer down from the stomach-churning Skywalk 1,400 feet above the sparkling sea — opened by Luke Skywalker, aka Mark Hamill, himself.
Take in the view across the Straits, a 15-mile- wide blue chasm separating Europe from North Africa — which David Walliams heroically swam in aid of Sport Relief in 2008.
The Northern Defences are also worth a visit. This cavernous labyrinth of tunnels has been added to over time, since the eighth century.
Our guide, Karl Viagas, is steadfastly uncovering more historical treasures underground that will be spectacular when fully open.
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James Bond creator Ian Fleming was stationed here with Naval Intelligence, and daring undersea attacks on the Allied fleet by Italian scubamen in the war fuelled his already vivid imagination for future books and movies.
And in true 007 style, we were accompanied by a glamorous former Miss World who would grace any Bond movie. Kaiane Aldorino, former Mayor of Gibraltar, is now an ambassador for the territory.
Sunshine, cheap beer and a beauty queen for company — plus you can spend British pounds.
But like many places, travel and the natural world can often rub each other up the wrong way.
Gibraltar's playful macaque monkeys are funny to watch for a time but have become a way for taxi drivers to make a few easy quid.
The roads at the top of the rock were clogged with cabbies queuing to feed junk food to these wild animals in return for them doing tricks.
Far better to join Brian Gomila on his Monkey Talk tour in the kinder environment of the surrounding trees.
And if you really want to go green, join Stuart at EBike-Gibraltar. Power-assisted cycling on a lap around the base of the rock is easy on the legs and the eyes as you stop off at small fishing villages with inviting beaches.
There's a lot of fun to be had too. A dizzying gin-tasting session at the Spirit Of The Rock distillery was as enlightening as it was alcoholic.
David Walliams might agree, it's Little Britain — but with Spanish style and weather.
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