
Lawless London's purple line warning tourists of scumbag pickpockets is a red flag to Broken Britain
They are in the nation's phone-snatching hotspot.
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And with a smartphone stolen every eight minutes in London, getting your device nicked by some two-wheeled scumbag is a very real possibility.
'Enough is enough,' says Ed Connolly, of electrical retailer Currys, who are behind the scheme.
'It's time to draw the line on phone theft.
'That's why we've launched the Mind the Grab campaign — a bold pavement marking we believe can make a real difference by encouraging people to step back from the kerb.'
Good for Currys. But what a tragedy it is not our invisible police, the useless London Mayor or our spineless politicians who had the wit and will to say enough is enough.
And what a crying shame it is the innocent, law-abiding and decent who must adapt their behaviour as thieving little bastards are allowed to run amok.
But this is the country we now live in.
There are voices on the Left who insist statistics prove crime's going down.
But that is not the way it feels when you see the thin purple line on Oxford Street. And that is certainly not what the rest of the world believes.
Degrade quality of life
My family was in Lapland earlier this year when a fellow traveller was shocked to learn that we live in London.
How business owners are cracking down on shoplifting
'Do you feel safe there?' she gasped. And she was from . . . Iran.
But this view of the UK as a lawless land is growing.
The Australian government warns its citizens to 'exercise a high degree of caution' when visiting the UK, because 'petty crime is common, including pickpocketing and thieves who use scooters and bicycles to snatch belongings'.
It is not just Australia. New Zealand, France, Canada, the UAE and even Mexico — home of the drug cartels! — all warn their citizens to beware.
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The heartbroken family of student Mohammed Algasim, 20, stabbed to death in an 'unprovoked' attack in Cambridge, say the UK is 'no longer safe' for visitors.
Mr Algasim's family are from Saudi Arabia. And who would dare to contradict them?
The Broken Windows Theory of crime states that visible signs of criminality — broken windows, graffiti, the stink of weed — create an urban environment that encourages further crime. And that is exactly where we are today.
Last year around 80,000 people had their phones stolen in London.
Yes, phone theft is horrible. But then so is burglary, shoplifting, mugging and knife crime. They all degrade and coarsen our quality of life.
They all make us feel our loved ones are not safe on the streets where we live.
Exactly 14 years on from the riots of the summer of 2011, you will hear many smug voices telling you Nigel Farage is wrong to speak of lawless Britain.
I guess these people don't get out of the house much. Because as they close all of the police stations, the coppers withdraw from sight and the UK becomes the global centre of street crime, the UK sure as hell doesn't feel safer than it has ever been.
Significantly, the Australian government gives the UK a Level 2 rating, reflecting 'a weak law and order system, where violent crime is common', and a country that 'may lack some key public services, such as a responsive police force'.
Yes, that's us! The police will not save you. The courts will do bugger all.
We are on our own now. Because there has clearly been a fraying of the social contract in this country.
Meaning — the way we behave.
Meaning — how we treat each other.
Meaning — our sense of our rights and our duties.
Meaning — the immutable standards, values and beliefs we all share.
Meaning — communal sense of decency.
Now, hurting someone you don't know is socially acceptable. There is nothing pathetic, nasty and cruel about taking something that doesn't belong to you.
Shoplifting, phone theft, mugging, assault — it is no big deal.
And it ends with a student, a beloved son who was thrilled to be in the UK for ten weeks, bleeding to death.
The decline of the social contract means we are becoming a nation fit for thieving, violent little scumbags.
And I fear it will take more than a thin purple line to stop them.
Arrest E-bike idiots
THE backlash against e-bikes has begun.
One London council, Hounslow, has terminated its contract with Lime after two years following complaints about 'antisocial parking' on pavements.
Writing in The Times, Agustin Guilisasti, co-founder and CEO of e-bike company Forest, calls for greater clarification about the rules and regulations around his booming industry.
These would be good rules.
Every e-bike that is abandoned on a pavement should be removed and destroyed.
And the law should treat e-bike users like motorists.
When they race through red lights, gawping gormlessly at their phone at 30 mph – nick the morons.
Business is booming for the e-bike companies.
But they are aware that many of us heartily despise them.
Hounslow council has decided to end its contract with Lime and hand the reins to rivals Forest and Voi to 'maintain clear pavements and discourage poor parking'.
Good luck with that.
As far as I can tell from my neck of the woods, they – and the people who use them – are all as thoughtless as each other.
E-bikes are not saving our towns, cities or planet. They are wrecking them.
Name shame
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BACK in the Sixties they asked, would you let your daughter go with a Rolling Stone?
Now the question is, would you name your baby after a Rolling Stone?
Probably not. Keith is no longer in the top 100 names. Neither is Mick.
All those 'dad' names – Steve is another one, and Ian and Nigel – are on the way out.
As is Tony. Nobody would call their baby Tony these days.
One of us launches an unnecessary and unprovoked war against Iraq on fabricated evidence and suddenly our name is mud.
Still a trump card
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I HAD my doubts about the Tory scheme to send illegal migrants to Rwanda.
Too legally complicated, I thought. And too prohibitively expensive.
The £700million scheme was promptly ditched when Labour won the election.
But how galling that Rwanda is now taking 250 migrants from the US under Donald Trump's removal system.
And their pleasant accommodation in Rwanda will be paid for by the British taxpayer.
Perhaps Rwanda will work as a deterrent after all.
And it will certainly be a much greater deterrent to illegal migration than Labour's 'one-in, one-out' deal with France, meaningless sound bites about 'smashing the gangs'.
And Home Secretary Yvette Cooper looking very, very cross.
OZZY OSBOURNE'S death certificate describes the Black Sabbath supremo as a 'songwriter, performer and rock legend'.
That sounds like a good job.
What's the money like?
Home front
LABOUR'S minister for homelessness, Rushanara Ali, has resigned after turfing four tenants out of her London rental property – and then re-listing the same gaff for £700 a month more!
Hypocritical? Undoubtedly.
But you must admire Ali's flair for economic growth.
Perhaps she should be Chancellor.
Top Marks for putting Aimee in Christmas ads
WITH only 137 days to Christmas, thoughts turn inevitably to the big Yuletide commercials.
Marks & Spencer has signed Aimee Lou Wood to front its Christmas campaign – a definite upgrade of last year's effort (Dawn French as an unfunny fairy).
Aimee was the best thing in the third series of The White Lotus.
The Stockport-born actress, 31, is glamorous yet approachable, charismatic yet relatable. She seems nice. Very British.
The perfect fit to front a Christmas campaign for an institution like M&S.
Aimee definitely has a girl-next-door quality.
If you happen to live next door to one of the hottest names in Hollywood.

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Occupation Works in software Voting record Cushla, who came to the UK from New Zealand in 1999, voted Labour in the last election. Describes herself as centre-left Amuse bouche Was the singer in a band in the 90s. She describes them as 'Enigma remixed by Einstürzende Neubauten' Occupation Retired photographer Voting record Reform in the last election, probably Reform in the next. Describes himself as right-of-centre Amuse bouche Martin once told the then Prince Charles an anecdote about an encounter with Liam Gallagher in a nightclub toilet. The future king was 'completely bemused' Martin I was expecting the Guardian to portray me as an old gammon and pair me up with some radical with coloured hair. Then she walked through the door with blue hair, which was rather amusing! She was lovely from the outset – friendly and interesting. We started with some shredded prawn rolls and deep-fried lotus root. Cushla We were both a little wary. I decided to set him at ease by saying: 'Don't worry, my partner voted for Brexit.' He said: 'Why are you here, then? You dine across the divide every evening!' I was expecting a grumpy old man. You can create a two-dimensional stereotype in your brain, and Martin wasn't that. The place was lovely. Martin I have seen a significant change in crime and general disorder even in the last couple of years – people jumping the barriers in the tube, shoplifting, phone-snatching, seemingly without repercussions. To get a grip on crime, you need to start tackling it at the lower level, otherwise people start thinking they can get away with it. Cushla Martin is training to become a magistrate and talked about his experience of watching people come in and out of court. I think he's far more in favour of imprisonment. I countered by saying: let's look at doing more restorative justice – giving offenders the chance to really encounter the impact of their crimes. Martin Some people who break the law, generally more white-collar criminals, are not best served by prison. But for severe crimes – violent, sexual – I think people should be kept in a lot longer than they are, away from society. It requires more cross-party planning, though. Investing in a prison is a 10- or 15-year project; governments don't want to put money into that because they'll be out of power by the time the prison is built. Cushla I think I would be a different kind of magistrate, but I say that from a position of hopeful naivety. I know the justice system is broken, that there is insufficient money. Martin We shared how much we despised the Tory government after 14 years of incompetence and were incredulous that the Labour party think the way to make things better is to cut disability payments and not revoke the two-child benefit cap. Cushla It surprised me that we agreed that the cap should be removed. When you're poor, you're poor, and the early stages are when the most good – and most damage – can be done. Martin Governments across all political parties have consistently promised to tackle illegal immigration and completely failed to do so. It's a cliche, but you're letting people into your house without knowing who they are. I'd favour some kind of holding and assessment system – more like the solution Australia came up with where they housed everyone on an island while they processed their applications and determined who should be let in and who shouldn't. Cushla I'm frustrated by the tag 'illegal'. People are not born 'illegal'; we're creating the conditions for them to become so. I came here on an ancestry visa so I am 'legal' by an accident of birth. What makes my accident of birth any better or worse than someone else's? And given the UK's history in the world, the UK does actually have a very particular moral obligation, whether it likes it or not. Martin It was great to meet someone with different views but also to be able to have a conversation, rather than just throw opinions at each other. I think it's society that demands we take extreme positions, and really, we're not far away from each other in what we think. Cushla When people think differently you don't tend to hear why or get the opportunity to actually challenge your own thinking. What this has taught me is you have to listen to rather than talk. Additional reporting: Kitty Drake Cushla and Martin ate at Xi Home Dumplings Bay in London E1 Want to meet someone from across the divide? Find out how to take part