I'm an American working at a retail store in Australia. A customer got offended when I greeted her - what did I do wrong?

Daily Mail​

16-06-2025

An American woman working at a retail store in Queensland has sparked a fierce debate after a customer abruptly shut her down for using the word 'darling' in a routine greeting.
The employee, who works at a jewellery store in a busy shopping mall, said she was left stunned after addressing a female shopper with a friendly: 'Hey darling! How are you doing today?'
But instead of the warm reply she expected, the customer fired back: 'Please don't call me that.'
Confused, the worker asked the customer what she meant, only to be told: 'Just say, "Hi, how are you?" But don't call me "darling".'
'I've been at this job for almost a year and never had any issues with addressing another woman this way, which is why I was surprised,' she wrote on Reddit.
'I am always warm and friendly and aim to make my customers feel welcome and have a great experience. I will try to change how I address my customers from now on.'
The interaction left both the retail assistant and her colleague speechless.
'Needless to say, both the girl working with me and I stood there mostly stunned that she reacted like this,' the employee explained.
'Is this normal? Do most Aussies (particularly women) despise being called something like love, hun or sweetie... you get the drift... when stopping at a shop?'
The post sparked an avalanche of responses, with many Australians revealing they find terms like 'darling', 'love', 'hun' and 'sweetie' awkward or even patronising - especially when used by strangers.
'I wouldn't react that way, but I'd be internally thinking the exact same thing,' one person admitted.
'Unless you're an older woman in the country, I find it really off-putting. I've walked out of shops because of it,' said another.
However, many said they would be fine with being called 'darling' - as long as it came from an elderly woman.
'I would only be okay with "darling" from a sweet older lady. Anyone else and it's going to come across as condescending or creepy,' one said.
'Being called "darling" by a little old lady is totally different to being called that by a middle aged guy. Its also depends on the vibe you're giving off. In my experience of far too many years in customer service, 90 per cent of the time someone calls me darling it's uncomfortable or awkward,' another shared.
'As someone who worked in retail I think it's always safest to stick with "Hi, how are you?" or variations on it. I would expect darling or love from older women in rural areas, but apart from that... I would feel a bit weird being greeted like that,' one said.
'I always find it cringe as f*** when anyone who's not a 70-year-old (or older) lady calls me "darl",' another added.
Others shared their own horror stories, including one person who recalled a male customer demanding to be called 'sir' instead of 'mate'.
But some leapt to the defence of the worker, saying terms of endearment were simply a cultural norm - especially in more casual settings.
'I work in hospitality and I say "darling" all the time. It's just part of how we talk here,' one suggested.
The discussion touches on a broader issue currently dividing Australian shoppers and retail workers alike - the state of customer service.
Earlier this year, Melbourne woman Tasha Strachan went viral for lamenting the lack of basic courtesy in stores, after being completely ignored in three separate shops.
'Does no one care about customer service these days?' she asked in a video.
'Not one person asked, 'Can I help you with anything today?' Not one.'
Tasha previously told FEMAIL she wasn't expecting over-the-top attention - just a simple 'hello'.
'To me, that's customer service. Having worked in both retail and hospitality myself, I guess that's why I'm so shocked when I don't get what I would've given if I were still working in those roles,' she said.
But not everyone agreed.
One retail worker commented: 'I'm paid to do my job, not paid to care. If you don't look like you need help, I'm not going to offer it. I have a job to do.'
Others argued that customers often send mixed signals.
'I hate being asked if I need help - just leave me to shop in peace. But don't ignore me entirely,' one person wrote.
The result? A confusing etiquette minefield where even the most well-meaning 'darling' can be taken the wrong way.
Still, many agree that a basic greeting is the bare minimum - just without the pet names.
'Say hi, how are you?' That's all. It's not hard,' one shopper said.
As for the Queensland retail worker, she says she'll be more cautious with her greetings from now on.
'Lesson learned. But I still don't think I was being rude - just friendly,' she wrote.