Man's Reddit post asking ‘Why do Indians abroad look down on their own' sparks debate

India Today

a day ago

A man who has lived in the United States for over a decade shared a candid post on Reddit about an encounter with a fellow Indian in New York City that left him feeling disheartened. His post sparked discussion on how Indians abroad treat each other.In his post on Reddit's 'r/India' thread titled 'Is It Just Me or Do Indians Abroad Look Down on Their Own? Here's My Personal Experience,' the man explained how a casual interaction turned sour.advertisement'I've lived in the US for over 10 years and picked up the habit of smiling at strangers, making small talk, just being friendly, you know? Feels normal here. But something odd happened recently in NYC that made me think,' he wrote.
He continued, 'Saw a guy who looked Indian at a coffee shop, so I smiled and said hi. Instead of being chill, he gave me this 'who the hell are you' look and responded pretty arrogantly, talking about his startup and how much he's raised. Honestly, he acted like I was below him.'The situation took an unexpected turn when the man revealed, 'Here's the best part turned out his last funding came from a VC firm where I'm actually an LP/angel investor, and the partner is a good friend. When he realised, his energy immediately changed. Awkward doesn't even cover it.'The man concluded his experience by saying, 'Why is it that a lot of Indians abroad act like this with each other? Like, would it kill us to just be nice or at least not look down on someone? But put the same guy in front of a white person, and he'd probably be all smiles and manners. Not sure what it is - ego, insecurity, or just a bad habit. But honestly, it sucks. Anyone else experience this? Is it just me?'Take a look at the viral Reddit post here: Reddit users had a lot to say about the viral post. 'I always smile, but other Indians don't care, so I stopped as well. This is too much in Germany compared to the UK,' a user said. Sharing a similar view, another user said, 'Hot take as someone living in Germany for six years: Germans are more friendly and welcoming than they seem. Indians—it's like a lottery, you'd never know what you'd get. Drawing parallels from your experience, most Indians I've met are absolute show-offs. I've had countless second-hand embarrassing moments.'Others offered a balanced perspective. 'I see both sides of the coin. I'm in a city in the UK, and I too smile and make small talk with people I meet. However, I've noticed something in my student-facing service job. If I become friendly with another Indian, they expect favours or favourable behaviour from me. At the same time, I have also met fellow Indians who are just nice human beings. So, I'd say those who look down are pre-empting a judgement. The benefit of the doubt should be given. Be kind,' said a user.advertisementSeveral users linked this behaviour to insecurity. 'Yup. I live in Vancouver and I've often seen this. It's nothing but insecurity. Forget about random Indian guys, even my colleagues give this look of 'how did this company sponsor a visa for you?' Like, stop judging me based on skills and start treating me like a human first,' one user wrote.Another user attempted to explain, 'I'm probably going to get downvoted for this, but here I go. First, what happened with you, that I am not condoning. As someone else wrote above, it's because they're a douche, not because they're Indian. But I'm going to say there are a small percentage of Indians who choose not to associate with other Indians. They try to remain cordial, though. The reason is that (especially here in Europe) a lot of people from India, BD, and Pakistan behave in the most disrespectful manner. From aggressively hitting on teaching assistants to playing loud music in public to misbehaving with women in bars. And the worst part is, even if you try to explain, they don't seem to care. That's why people like me avoid other Indians in public unless we know them personally.'advertisementWhile several users admitted to mixed feelings, others simply disagreed. 'I'm an Indian in the US, and I am always happy at the prospect of finding another Indian around,' said one user.Another user added, 'While I'm having coffee on the street and minding my own business, if someone randomly approaches me right there, it does seem justified to be annoyed at first. I'm aware it's an American thing to do, but it's a weird thing honestly. I dislike only poorly-mannered, loud, misogynistic idiots. You don't need to be Indian to be that. But if they're Indian, it's easy to spot them from afar since I'm also an Indian.'The Reddit post triggered discussion about how stereotypes can be harmful and why they should not be generalised. For several users, the takeaway was simple: kindness shouldn't come with conditions.- Ends
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