Pride doesn't come cheap — the LGBTQ+ 'queer tax' has cost us thousands

Metro

01-06-2025

Living your life as an LGBTQ+ person can cost you your family, friends, and even your safety.
There's also a significant financial impact, as just existing as a queer or trans person in a heteronormative world isn't cheap.
Pride is undoubtedly important, but many LGBTQ+ people face day-to-day material concerns that impact their ability to be feel secure and happy in their own identity.
Looking at Maslow's heirarchy of needs, before someone can reach love and belonging, esteem or self-actualisation, both physiological and safety requirements have to be met.
Among these tangible concerns, a stable home is one of the key necessities. However, issues like unsupportive parents or homophobic and transphobic housing providers can make this difficult to find. Research shows that almost one in five LGBTQ+ Brits have experienced homelessness at some point in their lives, while 77% of homeless LGBTQ+ youth were forced out of their family home after coming out or being outed.
They may then have to pay more for suitable housing, as taking a chance on a house-share or landlord that isn't billed as LGBTQ+-friendly can (and does) result in incidents like threats of eviction, rent increases, harassment, and physical or sexual violence.
There's also the fact that rents in large towns and cities – where the queer and gender nonconforming community are more likely to feel accepted and able to be open – can be double that in other parts of the country.
Kelly Ann Winget, the queer founder and CEO of private equity firm Alternative Wealth Partners, wants other LGBTQ+ people to think about their money and financial planning differently, as well as recognising the impact of 'pink money,' the term coined to describe the purchasing power of the LGBTQ+ community, and investing ethically where possible.
'It's critical for LGBTQ+ people to start financial planning as early as possible because, unfortunately, they may be cut off financially by their families after coming out,' Kelly tells Metro.co.uk.
'It's not an easy task, but these circumstances are a part of a reality that queer people can't afford to ignore. Instead, they need to start with honest discussions about their financial insecurities and goals.'
She also recommends an emergency fund ahead of potential safety issues or potential issues like domestic violence (which disproportionately affects the LGBTQ+ community).
Kelly adds: 'That means queer people need to have enough funds saved to uproot their lives if necessary for them to be able to live authentically and always feel safe.'
Of course, not everybody will be in the same boat; a gay white collar DINK (double income/no kids) couple in well-paid jobs, for example, may actually be better off than a single person on a low wage regardless of their sexuality.
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But trans people in particular are burdened with a specific set of additional overheads to ensure their outward image matches up with who they are inside.
32-year-old Thea Bardot (who uses she/they pronouns and identifies as trans non-binary) began presenting as femme during the pandemic, and has recently undergone vaginoplasty surgery.
'If looking in the mirror on a daily basis is causing you so much gender dysphoria that you might not be able to go to work or you might not want to be seen in public, the easiest way to to rectify that and start really understanding yourself is the outside,' she tells Metro.co.uk.
As the CEO of a company, Lightning Travel, Thea acknowledges she's 'privileged' to be able to afford some of the things some trans or gender nonconforming people can't, most notably healthcare at private clinics amid years-long waiting lists for gender affirming treatments on the NHS.
But it's still cost thousands to get to where they are now, as Thea initially came out as non-binary but was still experiencing dysphoria, so began exploring her gender in therapy and decided to look into genital reconstruction surgery.
As well as paying for the procedure itself, that meant taking six weeks off work, which could be financially ruinous for those who aren't self employed.
'Many people have to make that decision of whether to lose that income because a lot of jobs aren't going to support that,' she says. 'And in terms of recovery, if you've not got a friendship group around you, you've got to pay for extras like delivery services too.'
Having to buy multiple new wardrobes for her changing body came as a shock too, and Thea has even gone down a shoe size since starting hormone therapy. Facial feminisation surgery is on the agenda next, but it may take some time to save up given she's 'easily' spent roughly £25,000 to affirm her identity since her trans journey began.
'This isn't a choice,' Thea adds. 'This is literally what we need to do to be ourselves.'
Dr Omar Tillo, medical director and senior body plastic Surgeon
at LGBTQ+-friendly clinic (and proud member of the World Professional Association for Transgender Health) Creo Clinic, tells Metro.co.uk: 'The costs of gender-affirming procedures can vary widely depending on the specific surgery, the surgeon's expertise, and the location of the procedure.'
Here, however, he gives ballpark figures showing some of the costs associated with transitioning physically.
Vaginoplasty/vulvoplasty/other 'male-to-female' genital surgeries
The cost of vaginoplasty typically ranges from £15,000 to £25,000, which includes the surgery itself, hospital fees, and post-operative care. Vulvoplasty, which may be less complex than vaginoplasty, usually costs between £10,000 and £20,000. Additional procedures or complications can increase these costs.
Phalloplasty/metoidioplasty/other 'female-to-male' genital surgeries
Phalloplasty is a complex and multi-stage procedure and can cost between £25,000 and £60,000, or more in some cases. Metoidioplasty, which is generally less complex, ranges from £10,000 to £25,000. These costs cover the surgical procedures, hospital stay, and follow-up care, but may increase with additional required surgeries, such as urethral lengthening or testicular implants.
Facial feminisation or masculinisation surgery
Facial feminisation surgery and facial masculinisation surgery are highly individualised procedures, and costs can vary significantly. On average, facial feminisation surgery costs between £20,000 and £40,000, depending on the number of procedures required (such as rhinoplasty, brow lift, or jaw contouring). Facial masculinisation surgery is typically less common and may range from £15,000 to £30,000.
Chest reconstruction ('top surgery')
At Creo Clinic the cost of this procedure – which involves r emoving the breast tissue as well as any excess skin and fat around the chest – starts from £10,500.
Voice feminisation surgery/Adam's apple surgery
Voice feminisation surgery, which alters the pitch of the voice, typically costs between £4,000 and £7,000. Adam's apple enhancement, or tracheal shave, to reduce the prominence of the Adam's apple, generally costs around £3,000 to £6,000.
Buttock augmentation
Buttock augmentation at Creo Clinic for transgender individuals seeking a more feminine contour can range from £7,900 with fat transfer or BBL. For gluteal implants the cost is from £10,900.
Breast augmentation
For transfeminine individuals seeking breast augmentation at Creo Clinic, a male to female top surgery (breast augmentation) ranges from £6,900 with implants or alternatively, from £7,900 with fat transfer.
Non-surgical procedures
Non-surgical procedures such as laser hair removal and hair transplants also play a significant role in gender transition. Laser hair removal typically costs between £50 and £200 per session, with multiple sessions required for optimal results. Hair transplants can range from £3,000 to £10,000, depending on the extent of hair loss and the number of grafts needed.
Next are the expenses that come with simply going about your business without harassment as a visibly not straight and not cisgender person. As a preventative measure this could mean taking taxis rather than braving public transport or walking home at night, but it could even extend to a hefty bill for therapy to deal with trauma if the worst does occur.
If you think this is an overreaction, bear in mind that two-thirds of LGBTQ+ people have experienced violence or abuse as a result of their gender or sexuality, and hate crimes are on the rise.
Speaking to Refinery29, non-binary drag performer Tom, 28, estimates they spend between £150-£200 a month on Ubers and other taxis, adding: 'I have never known what it's like to walk the world freely. That's the same for so many of us.'
This is all before we consider the prospect of wider life plans like starting a family, either solo or as part of a same-sex couple. It's something many cis, straight people take for granted, but those who've struggled with fertility issues know that the likes of in vitro fertilisation (IVF) or intrauterine insemination (IUI) can be prohibitively expensive.
In England, the NHS will fund IVF for heterosexual couples who have been trying for a baby unsuccessfully for at least two years and meet certain additional criteria. Meanwhile, same-sex couples are expected to pay privately for between three and 12 rounds of artificial insemination before the NHS will fund any treatment.
A Stonewall spokesperson commented: 'This lack of equitable access to NHS funding for IVF means that conceiving children isn't an option for lots of people in our communities.'
Scotland is the only place in the UK that provides donor insemination to same-sex couples without requiring them to have private treatments first, but surrogacy isn't available on the NHS anywhere.
IUI
The average price of a round of IUI at a private clinic is £1,265 excluding donor sperm, but this can rise to as much as £2,310. Donor sperm at a fertility clinic comes in at roughly £1,230 per sample, but additional fees for screening and preparation may add to the final cost.
Given the chance of conceiving with IUI is around 5-15% per cycle, multiple rounds may be required, running into the tens of thousands per child.
IVF
According to the NHS, a single cycle of IVF can cost over £5,000, but with extras like pre-treatment investigations, medication and long term embryo storage, the price of a single embryo transfer comes in at an estimated £7,545.
The fertility regulator found that patients typically go through three rounds before IVF is successful, as the chance of having a live birth from an embryo transfer is just one in three, which puts the total price at upwards of £20,000 per child.
Surrogacy
It's illegal to pay a surrogate in the UK, but the intended parent or parents are responsible for the surrogate's medical expenses as outlined above, as well as those which occur during her pregnancy, such as travel to appointments and any loss of potential earnings. Recent court cases have approved 'expense payments' up to £25,000.
The intended parent or parent may also have to agency fees to match with a surrogate, as well as legal and insurance fees. Surrogacy UK recommends a budget of approximately £30,000 for host surrogacy.
Adoption
If you are adopting a child in the UK, an agency cannot charge you a fee for arranging the adoption, nor will you pay the government.
However, the process can incur other costs – for example, you might have to pay for legal fees or police checks. This tends to cost between £100 and £450.
Alongside the extra expenditure that comes with being LGBT+, there's a pay gap affecting income, which the most recent research suggests sits at 16% and means LGBTQ+ workers are effectively paid £6,703 less per year.
Cecilia Righini (who uses they/them pronouns and identifies as queer) founded their own business, Studio Lutalica, after experiencing 'both micro and not-so-micro aggressions, and forms of discrimination' in previous workplaces.
This ranged from snide comments about their appearance to being told not to put their pronouns in their email signature to being paid less than others despite their role having more responsibilities.
They tell Metro.co.uk: 'Personally, the financial challenges I've faced include navigating job markets that are not always welcoming. I often felt worried about how being non-binary and queer would be perceived, which led me to censor myself or avoid applying for certain jobs and industries altogether.
'This significantly limited my career opportunities and financial stability. The burden of having to constantly prove one's worth and the fear of being outed in a hostile environment add layers of stress that straight colleagues may not experience.'
It's a priority for Edinburgh-based Cecilia that Studio Lutalica (the slogan of which is 'design for feminists and queers') offers fair wages, supports flexible working arrangements to ease financial burdens on staff, and has policies like paid mental health days, private health insurance and a soon-to-be introduced four-day working week.
'Promoting an inclusive culture starts from the top, and leaders must be vocal and active in their support for LGBTQ+ rights,' Cecilia adds.
A number of these costs combine with each other and are impacted by additional protected characteristics like race and disability, as well as economic factors like funding cuts to vital services.
This then creates a vicious cycle whereby LGBTQ+ people are less likely to have savings but more likely to engage in high interest 'survival borrowing' such as pay day loans or have 'poor' or 'very poor' credit scores. As a result, Experian estimates that 62% of this group have experienced financial problems because of their gender identity or sexual orientation.
It certainly seems bleak, but there are some silver linings – community being one of them. Almost a quarter of LGBTQ+ people attend LGBTQ+-specific events locally at least once a month, finding support and connection among others with similar experiences. More Trending
And being accepted by a 'chosen family' can do a world of good for someone bogged down by money worries, bolstering the idea that even when times are hard, others value you as a person.
Adam D Blum, licensed psychotherapist and founder of the Gay Therapy Center, tells Metro.co.uk: 'LGBTQ+ people commonly internalise the false teaching of their society that they are not as good as other people. Their inner voices can be harsh and unloving and that negatively impacts all aspects of their lives, including their relationships with others and their financial status.
'Fortunately, with some work, we can unlearn these early negative messages. We can seek out LGBTQ+ friends and straight allies who can support our efforts to treat ourselves with kindness and compassion. I've watched LGBTQ+ people build their internal strength and become more resilient, effective, and creative when confronting the challenges of life, including economic obstacles.'
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This article was first published on June 9, 2024.
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