How we can support silently stressed-out men around us

South China Morning Post

7 days ago

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As a middle-aged man and a breadwinner, I totally understand the struggles facing men ('Silence is deadly for Hong Kong men as suicide rate worsens over past decade',
July 26 ).
From a young age, men are taught by family and society that they must act tough in the face of adversity. As whining about a challenge or hardship might be perceived as a sign of weakness, suppressing their feelings is almost second nature to many men. Such gender stereotypes fuel high expectations of fathers, who feel the need to show they have brawn and brains and can be strong role models for their children.
After a day at work, some men feel they have to leave their stress at the door when they go home, or at least put on a happy face for the family. While it is true that bringing work pressure home might affect domestic relations and is best avoided, a prolonged bottling up of feelings might backfire. It doesn't help that men are neither trained nor encouraged to express their emotions and seek professional help; mental health is often regarded as a taboo.
Inappropriate advice from well-meaning people could just be the straw that breaks the camel's back, and a prime example is the seemingly innocuous suggestion: 'Don't give yourself so much pressure.' While this seems encouraging on the surface, it could sound like victim-blaming to someone who has mental health issues.
What should be done instead to identify male family members who could be facing mental health issues?