Kondapur vs Koramangla
Now I know comparison is bad for mental health, but it's great for my column. And to be fair, I'll only compare things I actually experienced. So don't expect me to get into how Hyderabad's IT scene is Shubman Gill and Bengaluru's is Virat Kohli. I won't be doing that. Mostly because I know nothing.
Traffic
Yes, the traffic is bad. Bengaluru roads are narrow and the census is wide. So technically, we win this round. Yayyy!!!
But what did we really win with these wide roads? Nothing. We just invented new ways to use them badly. Our roads are so wide that a single bike carries eight people and all of them have enough space to breathe, hold hands, and shoot a video from three angles. Sure, our roads are wide but the riders are narrow. Also, because their traffic is consistently bad, they've developed lane discipline. If you say that to a Hyderabadi, he'll think it's the name of a new series on Netflix.
And if we really have such big roads, why are people still driving onto railway tracks in Hyderabad? And stuck on the flyover that was inaugurated just yesterday.
People
I read the news, so I knew I was expected to speak Kannada. Problem: the only Kannada I know is 'woahhhhh' from the movie Kantara. So, here's my hack: try at your own risk. I booked an auto. As usual, he stopped two lanes away as per auto modus operandi. Now I had to give directions in Kannada or risk him cancelling my ride… or worse, slapping me. Here's what I meant to say:
'Anna, come back to the main road, take a left from Madurai Hotel, and stop at the last building.'
Here's what I actually said:
'Anna main road-idakejje... Madurai hotel left-thinkalaa... last building igloo... woahhhhh!'
Somehow, it worked. Not only did he reach, he bitched about outsiders to me. Next time, someone I knew was standing next to me, so I had to behave like a grown-up and skip the Kilikili. I tried Hindi — worked. English — worked. Telugu — surprisingly, also worked. I realised not everyone is like those scary Kannada-pride Instagram reels. Some people just want to drop you and move on with life.
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