‘My dream job turned out to be a nightmare'

Telegraph

01-05-2025

Ask a child what they want to be when they grow up and they might say astronaut or a princess. At school, these aspirations will have been gently redirected into more conventional careers, perhaps a doctor, a plumber or a teacher.
Having chosen a career, years of study will likely have followed, all in the pursuit of a so-called dream job. For one in four working adults in the UK today, that childhood dream will have become a reality. Or, sometimes, a nightmare.
The long-standing social contract – work hard, secure a good job, and enjoy a comfortable life – appears increasingly broken.
According to a report by workplace research firm Gallup, just 10pc of British workers said they were actively engaged in work in 2024, compared to 23pc globally. The remaining 90pc are either not engaged or actively disengaged.
As wages fail to keep pace with inflation and job satisfaction wanes, many have begun to question not just their chosen profession but the role of work in their lives – even those supposedly living the dream.
The shine has faded to the point that nearly half of British adults (46pc) believe the dream job doesn't exist. And, according to the World Values Survey, conducted by King's College London's Policy Institute in 2023, people in the UK were the least likely to say work was important in their life.
Has the dream job officially died? And did it ever exist in the first place?
'I finally landed my dream role and lasted less than a year'
Elyse Andrews, 36, knew she wanted to be a flight attendant from an early age. 'I'd always liked travelling and experiencing different cultures, different foods,' she says. She recalls being at the airport with her family and staring starstruck at the flight attendants in their uniforms and flawless appearances. From that moment she decided that was what she wanted to do when she grew up.
However, Andrew's parents were keen for her to pursue a more academic career and were insistent on her going to university. In 2008, she attended Nottingham Trent to study criminology, which led to her getting a job as a probation officer. But she wasn't satisfied.
In 2018, Andrews moved to London and decided to finally pursue her childhood dream. She went back to college and did a year-long course in travel and tourism. After a couple of months applying to different airlines, she landed her dream role.
'I was so happy,' she says, recalling thinking, 'I did the going to university route, but now I'm doing what I want to do, what I always dreamed about.'
During her first flight, Andrews was pumped with adrenaline. She was living her dream. But a few flights in and the excitement wore off and reality crept in. 'Not all that glitters is gold,' says Andrews. 'Being a flight attendant is not as glamorous and exciting as it sounds.'
Andrews had expected to be jetting around the world, ticking off bucket-list destinations such as New York and the Caribbean. However, she was only trained on one type of aircraft, which meant in reality she was stuck doing the same routes again and again.
'One time, I did the Singapore route four weeks on the trot,' she says. 'At first it's all new and exciting, but when you've done that route 10 times over, you've done all the touristy things.'
The loneliness also took Andrews by surprise. 'It's very rare you'll get a flight with someone you've flown with before. It's always different people,' she says. 'Sometimes you just don't have anything in common and you're away for long periods with these people. It can be really lonely.'
Andrews would often end up doing activities on her own, or she just stayed in the hotel until it was time to fly back.
The low pay was another downside. Being a flight attendant paid Andrews a basic annual salary of £16,000, with an additional hourly rate of £3.81 for each hour spent on flights and overseas until landing back at Heathrow. She also got a £10 allowance for food each day she was away, which in most countries didn't stretch far for breakfast, lunch and dinner. 'It was hard money-wise,' she admits.
Andrews realised quickly that her dream job wasn't everything she thought it would be, but struggled to admit it to herself and others around her. 'I was a little bit embarrassed,' she says. 'I'm not a quitter.' Despite this, seven months in, she started looking for a new job. Less than a year later, she handed in her notice.
Now, Andrews works as a welfare and wellbeing adviser at a university in London. The pay is better, and she enjoys working surrounded by the same people in the office every day. 'When you're doing the nine-to-five thing you wonder if the grass was greener on the other side. But no, it wasn't,' she says.
Andrews no longer thinks the dream job exists, at least for her. Instead, she thinks it's important to test the waters before you dive into a career head-first – 'because you actually don't know what you're getting yourself into'.
'Did I study so hard, just for this?'
Stephen Choi always knew he wanted to make money. The 38-year-old just needed to figure out which job would make him the most. Attending college in America, he majored in business and paid attention to the careers which other students gravitated towards. In his late teens, he decided his dream job was to be an investment banker.
Choi put all his efforts into making this dream a reality. 'I thought of that path as something that would be very prestigious and give me a lot of status and money,' he says. Most students wouldn't intern at firms until the summer before they graduated, but in order to give himself the best possible chance in a competitive market, he decided to intern as soon as possible.
Choi landed a paid internship in wealth management over the first summer of college. The following two summers, he undertook two more internships. He also interned at night after class during the semester.
'When I was doing these internships, I didn't even really think about whether I actually liked them or not,' he admits. 'I had my eyes set on 'this is what I need to be doing'.'
Graduating early after three years of study in 2008, he landed a full-time role in trading at a proprietary bond trading firm. Less than a month in, he realised he hated it. 'I was working graveyard shifts from 7pm to 7am, covering their Asian markets,' he says.
The unsustainable hours had an impact on his health and his happiness. 'I was like, 'man, did I study so hard just for this?'' he recalls thinking one night.
The final punch in the gut came from a conversation with his boss a few weeks into the job. 'He said, 'You see that guy over there? He's been with the firm for the past two or three years. He's been through the graveyard shifts that you're doing right now, and he's making millions now',' Choi recalls. 'That's the moment I realised – for the longest time I thought that I was driven by money, but actually I wasn't.' Less than a month in, Choi quit.
Over the following years, he tried his hand at a range of different careers, from real estate investment management to GMAT tutoring, to start-ups and big technology companies such as Salesforce.
He moved from Chicago to California and then to New York, before eventually moving to London to study for an MBA at London Business School. Choi embraced the digital nomad lifestyle, prioritising work-life balance – the top priority for digital nomads, according to Bunq's Global Living Report. Choi now lives between London and Bali and is building a dating and confidence coaching business.
'I think in my 20s, even in my early 30s, I felt a little bit insecure about why it was taking me so long to find what I wanted to do,' he says. 'They always say hindsight is 20/20 and you can only connect the dots backwards.'
While he couldn't be further from his initial dream of being an investment banker, Choi wouldn't change a thing.
'When I look back on my journey, I'm actually extremely proud of myself and extremely grateful that I had the opportunity to try all these different things,' he says. 'I like to think that the idea of a dream job is a bit overrated, because I think it's less about the job itself and more about who you become through it.'