Parents hit back at RFK Jr.'s claim that ‘autism destroys families': ‘Don't ever say my children are a burden'
But plenty parents of affected kids were not impressed.
'I just look at the source—this is a man who strapped a whale's head to the top of the family car,' Kim Covell, autism advocate and mom to a 26-year-old mostly nonverbal autistic son, tells Fortune, pointing out that his comments ignore 'proven science' and explaining that she is taking RFK Jr.'s comments with a grain of salt. 'I honestly think that science and reason will prevail in the end—and this is just a blip, an extremely unfortunate blip, on the autism timeline.'
Some parents, though, were outraged.
'Autism didn't 'destroy my family,'' Stephanie Hanrahan, self-described autism mom, activist, and TEDx speaker shared on Instagram. 'It is incredibly dangerous to say autism destroys lives. We cannot make broad statements (and laws) based off individual experiences. It is careless and insensitive. It dehumanizes a group of people who are NOT an epidemic because they are NOT a disease. They are simply a different neurotype.' Her autistic son plays baseball, she added, and her autistic daughter is an advocate who plays the piano and writes poetry.
'Clean the water and food. Improve environmental toxins. Do research,' Hanrahan added, 'But don't ever say my children are a burden.'
Official organizations also put out statements responding to Kennedy's statements. The Autism Society called them 'harmful, misleading, and unrealistic,' stressing that the way he spoke about autistic individuals was 'stigmatizing' and that the idea that vaccines cause autism (a specific allegation that RFK Jr. did not mention during the press conference, referring to 'medicines' instead) 'has been thoroughly debunked.' The Autism Science Foundation noted that his assertions lacked scientific evidence, and that he 'made a series of clear misstatements during his press event, including that adults with profound autism don't exist.'
Autism Speaks, meanwhile—which has faced its own controversies in the past, including for allegedly promoting stigma—called the press conference 'extremely disappointing and damaging,' noting that it joined many others 'in their concern with how the autistic community is being misportrayed.'
Much of the fireworks took place on social media, where angry and disappointed parents took on RFK Jr.'s assertions.
Kate Swenson, coauthor of New York Times bestselling parenting memoir Autism Out Loud and mother of a 14-year-old with autism, also took to Instagram. She shared an anecdote about how her younger son, 12, reacted to RFK Jr.'s comments: ''Autism didn't wreck our family, did it, Mom?' … I honestly froze for a second. Before I could answer he started talking again. 'I don't think it did, Mom. Cooper didn't wreck anything. Our family is good.' And then he quickly said, 'But it is hard sometimes.' … The siblings are so wise. They are always learning, watching, and absorbing.' Swenson added, 'I think sometimes when topics are in the headlines we forget that we are talking about real people and families.'
On a different Swenson post, another mom of a son with autism, Maddie Curry, left a comment, noting that RFK Jr.'s 'rhetoric' is 'extremely dangerous for the entire autism community,' and stressing that there has already been a lot of research on autism and its causes, including studies that her family has participated in. 'The implication that RFK Jr. is the first person to care is so painful for families and for the scientific community,' she wrote. 'We also have to hold our politicians to the minimum standard—speak about our autistic community with dignity and respect.'
Nicole Gottesmann, a blogger and advocate for her nonverbal autistic son, posted that she had been trying to block out the news lately, but that while on vacation with her family, she caught RFK Jr.'s press conference—turning her happiness into 'sadness, despair, and fear.'
'Leading with how these individuals will never pay taxes or have a job made it clear that the intention is to eradicate autism. He stated that autistic individuals will never go on a date, write a poem, play sports, etc. He further stated that autism destroys families! I am here to say this is just untrue and disgusting on so many levels,' she wrote alongside photos of herself and her partner with their son.
She added, 'He is nonspeaking, and his life has so much meaning. Just like every other autistic individual! How dare he judge my child, my family, and determine that Gabe is worthless. My family was not destroyed by autism … RFK's words have caused many of us pain.'
Stephanie Loglisci, a mother of twins, posted to her 31,000 Instagram followers, 'When my twins were diagnosed with autism, it gave me the gift of better understanding and celebrating the unique way they experience the world … The only thing destroying our belief is the lack of knowledge, misinformation, and ignorance that the U.S. government is spreading about our kids.'
While Brittany, head of the popular Instagram account Autism Mama's Crew, posted simply: 'RFK's comments were DANGEROUS,' and 'Autism doesn't destroy families. The lack of support does.'
In a Sunday opinion piece for the Guardian, John Harris, father of an autistic son, agreed that Kennedy's words are dangerous—and that they, for him, prompt fear.
'Kennedy's pronouncements are not only about what causes autism; they also reflect an age-old perception of autism as an aberration, and many autistic people as 'ineducable' and beyond help,' he writes. 'This surely blurs into populists' loathing of modern ideas about human difference: Once you have declared war on diversity, an attack on the idea of neurodiversity will not be far away.'
There were, however, some parents of kids with autism who were in agreement with RFK Jr. and pleased to see his attention on the issue.
'Autism does destroy families,' posted a mother in the comments section of the Autism Mama's Crew post. 'As an autism mom I feel devastated to see my children not meet their milestones. I wish they didn't have autism.' Another added: 'This is the truth no one wants to say/face! YES we love our babies … but I literally wish every day my two boys weren't autistic … Autism is beautiful, but it is NOT our friend.'
Mary Holland, attorney, anti-vaccine activist, mother to a grown son with autism, and now CEO of the RFK Jr.–founded Children's Health Defense, said in a video posted to the organization's website: 'I have been waiting for that speech for over 20 years, so I am very grateful to the secretary for finally saying from an important public platform that this is an epidemic and we need to find the causes and we need to stop it.'
On X, a man posted a photo of his daughter with her face obscured. 'This is my daughter. She has autism. She cannot dress, groom, or toilet herself,' he wrote. 'She hasn't spoken a word in her life. Her nonverbal communication is touches and gestures. She's the best thing in my life, but there is something wrong with her. Thank you, RFK.'
On Sunday, Kennedy clarified some of his comments with an appearance on Fox News. 'There are many kids with autism who are doing well,' he said. 'I was referring specifically to that 25%, the group that is nonverbal.'
Still, for many, the damage was done.
'It triggered me in ways I can't even describe,' actor, advocate, and autism mom Holly Robinson Peete posted about the press conference to her 1.5 million Instagram followers. She recalled the day her now adult son was diagnosed, at age 3, when she believed he would never be able to do many things in the future.
'Now, he's mostly checked off and shattered most of the 'nevers' off of that list,' she said. 'So when I hear someone like Robert F. Kennedy describe our kids as family destroyers, I feel the weight of every parent who's ever had to fight three times, four times as hard just to prove their child's worth. It plays into every stereotype and stigma every person with autism has ever had to fight.'
What RFK Jr. is peddling here, she added, 'is not just ignorance, it is institutionalized hopelessness.'
More on autism:
RFK Jr. blames these 5 environmental toxins for a spike in autism cases
Autism treatment is exploding across the U.S.—and now 1 in 31 kids are getting diagnosed
Researchers uncover a link to autism—and it isn't vaccines
This story was originally featured on Fortune.com
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