'Sexual conservatism,' virginity and why Gen Z is having less sex
The 2023 Centers for Disease Control and Prevention Youth Risk Behavior found adolescent sexual behavior declined since 2013. A 2022 survey from the Kinsey Institute that found one in four Gen Z adults say they have never experienced partnered sex.
But are Gen Z really as modest as some may think? Carter Sherman, 31, a journalist for The Guardian, digs into that question with her new book "The Second Coming," which explores Gen Z's sex lives — or lack thereof.
Sherman found through interviews with more than 100 young people that this generational dry spell is less puritanical and more political, with Gen Zers abstaining from sex for a complex variety of reasons.
Gen Z is sometimes framed as a "nation of virgins," Sherman writes, but our obsession with their lack of intercourse may really say more about our constant need to tell young people how to have sex. Rather than be corrective, she argues, we should focus on approaches that promote safe, consensual encounters and reduce shame.
The following interview has been edited for length and clarity.
Question: You share at the opening of the book you were obsessed with losing your virginity as a teen — sobbing to your mother when you learned a best friend lost theirs to a classmate before you. How is the idea of virginity impacting how we think about young people and sex?
I was so obsessed with my own [virginity]. Truly, my last few years of high school were dominated by my a total freak-out that I was still a virgin. I felt that I should have already had sex and my friends were leaving me behind by having sex, and I felt I wasn't living up to the standard of being a teenager. Part of my own journey in writing this book was coming to understand that standard was based on false information. You're either too virginal, or not virginal enough. There's no way to win. I don't think we've moved from the idea of virginity. At the end of the day many of the young people I spoke to felt their virginity was important, and some feel that their virginity was treated as too important.
We are always setting standards that don't match up to reality and make us feel worse about ourselves. What doesn't help is the level of shame people carry around and the feeling they're constantly doing it wrong.
How much of a factor is the end of Roe v. Wade playing in Gen Z's not having sex?
Gen Z is absolutely aware of how much the overturning of Roe v. Wade has changed the U.S., and in particularly their sex lives. Sixteen percent of Gen Zers are now more hesitant to date since the fall of Roe. There are so many young women I talked to who shared a level of sheer anxiety that Roe's overturning sparked. What the overturning of Roe has done is create a deep of anxiety but also create a generation that is ready to do battle over this. Feeling this stuff doesn't make you feel safe enough not only to be in a sexual relationship but also a romantic one.
At the same time, you spoke with conservative youth, particularly men, and found that movements to embrace traditional sex roles have also complicated youth feelings about sex.
What I call "sexual conservatism" speaks to that. This is the movement to make it dangerous to have queer, unmarried or recreational sex. Sexual conservatism has done a much better job of speaking about the difficulties of raising a family in this country than progressives. It's very appealing for young people to go toward sexual conservatism because the only people they hear talking about it are those on the right. If you feel like you're not being heard, you're going to go to the only people talking about this issue in a comprehensive manner.
Gen Z has so much online information about sex, including porn, at their fingertips. How does that impact their sex lives?
I really love how the internet has opened up discussions about what is sexuality. But social media also does this thing where it makes people extremely aware of the ways they believe they're falling short with sex. We're gauging our sexual value by likes, matches and follower counts. It makes people not want to engage in sex because they feel they have to look perfect naked in order to get naked. That's not a recipe for vulnerability or connection.
How does OnlyFans fit into all of this?
As Only Fans bleeds into mainstream social media, it becomes another metric whereby people evaluate themselves and make themselves also appear that way. For young people, the line between (real life) and virtual sex is very much diminishing and blurring. I don't think that's necessarily a bad thing, it's just how it is at this point. If we want to have conversations about sex, we have to acknowledge so much of young people's sex lives are shaped by the interactions they're having online.
What is your advice for older adults trying to relate Gen Z right now?
It's less about having the exact right information and more about approaching the topic with an empathetic attitude. Young people through the internet have more taken an approach to LGBTQ+ identities that are more iterative. Recognizing that and not treating that with suspicion is what's important for older people who might not understand what young people are going through.
Gen Z men, women have a political divide It's made dating a nightmare
What's the bottom line about Gen Z's sex lives?
I don't really care if young people are having less sex if that's something they're comfortable with. What I worry about is if having less sex is a proxy for not having relationships, not having connections with yourself and what makes you feel good.
Hashtags
Try Our AI Features
Explore what Daily8 AI can do for you:
Comments
No comments yet...
Related Articles
Buzz Feed
3 hours ago
- Buzz Feed
Sex Workers Share Biggest Client Surprises
Sex workers deal with every conceivable emotion and type of client. However, this doesn't mean they are immune to being surprised by their clients' habits, behaviors, and attitudes... That's why when Redditor u/bannedbooks123 asked, "People who have done sex work, what is something that surprised you?" current and former sex workers took to the comments to share the surprising moments in their careers that left them speechless. From conservative clients to emotional deprivation — here are 17 of their most enlightening responses: "A lot of conservative and Christian men are secretly gay, bi, and into 'humiliation' kinks — yes, even your elected officials." "What surprised me most is that men who have paid for my services have been more respectful than men I have dated." "ONLINE: The young guys love me as a 40-year-old. I have so many Gen Z clients. "I'm a male escort in Japan: Many of my clients are ridiculously attractive, like I wouldn't have thought twice about paying for them. But, they're married to men who have zero interest in them for whatever reason." "That some requests aren't weird, but the specificity makes them weirder. I have a regular who requests five photos of the exact same poses, down to very specific things like how my hands and fingers should be positioned, but in a new outfit each time." "How lonely and emotionally deprived men are. When I was a stripper, this 80-year-old man came in and asked me for a lap dance. When we got to the back, he said, 'I don't want you to grind on me. Just give me a hug.'" "Every client thinks the girls are there for money, being trafficked, etc. But some girls are there only for fun (or public health research, yes, there's one who does that)." "How many of my clients seemed to be addicted to the act of engaging in sex with sex workers. It was almost impossible for some of them to stop, even at the risk of losing their families/homes/jobs. It's definitely another form of addiction." "My friend is a sex worker, they said the most surprising thing is how quickly men can go from having sex with you to 'post-nut clarity' that makes them absolutely furious AT YOU because of what they just did." "I used to offer the 'girlfriend experience' online, and some of my clients were widowers or lonely office workers. I would sext and send them audio messages as if I were their girlfriend: asking if they had eaten, giving them encouragement, and reminding them about appointments. I was clear from the beginning (and it was listed all over my page) that I was playing a character." "I literally can't be bothered to put in effort to have sex or be in a relationship anymore. I haven't shaved my legs and privates, put on makeup, or even had sex since I left the industry three years ago." "I've never done sex work in the usual way. I've only made online content. Something that surprised me was the sheer number of views, positive interactions, and messages I've had." "Just how much hatred there is of sex workers in the media. I hate watching most American sitcoms because of their portrayal of sex work, but it's in almost every TV show you can think of. It's socially acceptable to speak about sex workers as if they're dirty or not human. You can't avoid the stigma because it's everywhere." "I've been an escort for thirteen years, and a lot of things have shocked me. One surprise was how blue-collar/working-class men tip generously, while rich men will try to haggle or short your pay." "That men often have money for sex workers that they don't have for their girlfriends/wives" "It taught me just how awful men can be — some women, too." "No one prepared me for being found by a client in real life." Did any of these stories surprise you? Current and former sex workers, what is something about sex work or your clients that shocked you? Tell us in the comments or answer anonymously using the form below! If you or someone you know has experienced sexual assault, you can call the National Sexual Assault Hotline at 1-800-656-4673 (HOPE), which routes the caller to their nearest sexual assault service provider. You can also search for your local center here.
Yahoo
2 days ago
- Yahoo
Major city risks becoming the first modern capital to run out of water, NGO warns
When you buy through links on our articles, Future and its syndication partners may earn a commission. The city of Kabul in Afghanistan is at risk of becoming the first modern capital to run out of water, according to a recent report. Kabul is drying up due to a combination of different factors, including climate change, poor water resource management, rapid urbanization and a swelling population that stands at roughly 5 to 6 million people. Mercy Corps, a humanitarian NGO, published a report in April that found Kabul's water crisis has reached a tipping point, with aquifers draining faster than they can be replenished, as well as issues surrounding water affordability, contamination and infrastructure. In June, one Kabul resident told The Guardian that there isn't any good quality well water available, while last week, another resident told CNN that they didn't know how their family would survive if things got worse. Kabul's water problem isn't new and has been growing steadily worse for decades. The report highlighted that it had been exacerbated by the decline in humanitarian funding for Afghanistan since August 2021 — when the Taliban returned to power as U.S. and allied forces withdrew from the country. "Without large-scale changes to Kabul's water management dynamics, the city faces an unprecedented humanitarian disaster within the coming decade, and likely much sooner," Mercy Corps representatives wrote in the conclusion of the report. Related: 'An existential threat affecting billions': Three-quarters of Earth's land became permanently drier in last 3 decades The new report draws on previous work by the United Nations (U.N.), which has found that Kabul's groundwater is at risk of running out by 2030, with around half of the boreholes in Kabul Province already dry. Currently, each year, extraction exceeds natural replenishment by about 1.5 billion cubic feet (44 million cubic meters), according to the report. Mohammed Mahmoud, a water security expert who was not involved in the report, told Live Science that Kabul is clearly in the midst of a worsening water crisis. "The fact that water extraction now exceeds natural recharge by tens of millions of cubic meters each year, and that up to half of the city's groundwater wells have already dried up, is an indication of a system in collapse," Mahmoud said in an email. Mahmoud is the chief executive officer of the Climate and Water Initiative NGO, and the lead for Middle East climate and water policy at the U.N. University's Institute of Water, Environment, and Health. He described the report's findings as "quite alarming" and noted that he was also concerned by the steep drop in Kabul's water table and the growing number of residents forced to spend a significant share of their income on accessing water. Mercy Corps reported that Kabul's aquifer levels have dropped by around 100 feet (30 m) within the last decade and that some households are spending up to 30% of their income just on water. "This is not just an environmental issue, it is a public health emergency, a livelihood crisis, and a looming trigger for potential large-scale human displacement," Mahmoud said. A global problem Water shortage is a global problem affecting many different regions. Water resources have been stretched in recent decades, with environmental factors like climate change increasing the frequency and severity of droughts, and human factors like population growth increasing water demand. A 2016 study published in the journal Scientific Reports found that between the 1900s and the 2000s, the number of people facing water scarcity increased from 240 million to 3.8 billion, or from 14% to 58% of the global population. Areas at particularly high risk of shortages include North Africa, the Middle East and South Asia. "What is happening in Kabul reflects a broader trend we're seeing across water-stressed regions globally, especially in the Middle East and North Africa," Mahmoud said. "Groundwater overuse is rampant in many parts of the region, leading to groundwater recharge rates not keeping up with aquifer extraction. Climate change is also reducing and shifting rainfall patterns, further limiting freshwater generation and groundwater recharge, while increasing the frequency and severity of droughts." The new report highlighted that Kabul is on the brink of becoming the first modern capital to run out of water, but it isn't the first major city to face such an existential water-related threat, and based on current trends, it won't be the last. RELATED STORIES —Mexico City could be just months away from running out of drinking water —The worst droughts in US history —Amazon's 'flying rivers' of vapor are drying up in an unprecedented drought. Here's how to save them. In 2018, Cape Town — the legislative capital of South Africa — nearly ran out of water during a drought, and only narrowly avoided having to turn off the taps thanks to tight water restrictions and a water-saving campaign. The situation was even worse for India's city of Chennai in 2019, when all four of its major reservoirs dried up, severely limiting water supplies and plunging the city into crisis. Mahmoud noted that water shortages have severe socioeconomic impacts, affecting agricultural and food security, increasing living costs and, in extreme cases, causing mass migration and displacement of people. "We need stronger investment in sustainable water management, robust water infrastructure, and better governance to begin to address issues of water shortages," Mahmoud said.
Newsweek
2 days ago
- Newsweek
Gen Z Males 3 Times More Likely Than Boomers to Prioritize 'Dominance'
Based on facts, either observed and verified firsthand by the reporter, or reported and verified from knowledgeable sources. Newsweek AI is in beta. Translations may contain inaccuracies—please refer to the original content. Gen Z males were three times more likely to prioritize "dominance" than baby boomers in a new study by consumer insights platform GWI. Males from the Gen Z population—ages 13 to 28—ranked as more traditional in several of their ratings. While 71 percent of male baby boomers said "caring" is a quality men should possess, just 43 percent of Gen Zers said the same. That was the lowest rating of any generation. Why It Matters Gen Z is navigating a largely unforeseen dating scene, growing up in a world where dating is often conducted by apps, and algorithms may decide the fate of who your partner is. The rise of "manosphere" content creators like Andrew Tate has also preached the importance of being an "alpha male," while encouraging disrespect and even sometimes violence toward women in the process. The shifting views on masculinity and dating could have long-standing ramifications, especially as many women are simultaneously frustrated over dating in the modern age. An AppsFlyer survey from last year found a whopping 65 percent of dating apps get deleted within just a month. And of those who uninstall the apps, 90 percent do it within a week. A 13-year-old boy looks at an iPhone screen on May 26 in Penzance, England. A 13-year-old boy looks at an iPhone screen on May 26 in Penzance, To Know In the new GWI report, Gen Z males consistently showed a preference for what's largely seen as "traditional" gender roles, more so than their baby boomer elders. While Gen Z males were nearly three times more likely than boomers to prioritize "dominance" as a key trait, at 23 percent versus 8 percent, they also valued strength more than older generations. The priority of "strength" as a trait declined with age across the generations, as 52 percent of Gen Z males said it was the most valued trait. That was compared to 51 percent of male millennials, 46 percent of Gen X and 44 percent for boomers. "The biggest biological reason that baby boomer men are less likely to prioritize, dominance and strength, and more likely to prioritize caring, has to do with the fact that their testosterone has gone down," Dr. Wendy Walsh, relationship expert from DatingAdvice, told Newsweek. "Thank goodness! Men over 60 are the sweetest gentlest men. It's wonderful to see. Gen Z men might prioritize dominance partly because their testosterone is raging." However, there are also social and psychological factors at play, Walsh added. "Baby boomers are fathers and grandfathers. They've spent their days slaying dragons and now want to spend time nurturing the things that are very good for their health, their friends and family," Walsh said. "As for those Gen Z men, many of them have lost their 'place' in society, as women are surging ahead in education and economics. Rather than understanding that masculinity can be correlated with caring and nurturing, they may be attempting to assert their masculinity through dominance in reaction to women's perceived strength." Across the board, males had traditional views toward what women should act like, with the top three traits they think women should possess being "caring" (61 percent), "gentle" (52 percent) and "nurturing" (52 percent). Females, meanwhile, valued confidence and independence as the top traits in women, at 68 percent and 63 percent. And the traits females valued in men differed dramatically from what males valued in themselves, GWI found. Across generations, the top qualities females valued in men were being caring (62 percent), confident (56 percent) and empathetic (55 percent). While 57 percent of males also viewed confidence as the top quality for men, Gen Z males especially valued more traditional, tough traits in men. "The data reveals an important shift in mindsets, and in some cases a reversal, in how different generations view gender roles," Chris Beer, data journalist at GWI, said in a statement. "While many women are embracing confidence and independence, young men are being drawn toward traditional ideas of masculinity, placing a greater importance on strength and dominance compared to older generations. What People Are Saying Hallie Kritsas, licensed mental health counselor with Thriveworks, told Newsweek: "It may seem surprising to some that male Gen Z individuals are leaning into more traditional traits such as dominance and strength, and may be doing so even more than male Boomers. However, this reflects deeper uncertainty. We are in a world of shifting roles, and so many younger men are searching for identity and control. These young men are often doing so without strong models of healthy masculinity, which might lead them to fall back on 'outdated ideas.'" Walsh also told Newsweek: "I think Gen Z men may want to see a return to traditional gender roles so that they can recapture some sense of "lost" male identity rather than evolve into the new masculine man, that is one who is caring, nurturing and emotionally attuned." What Happens Next The Gen Z males who prioritize dominance above all else might reflect their own insecurity and confusion, Kritsas said, adding, "As a result, we are seeing a generation of examples that are struggling to reconcile emotional vulnerability, such as being caring, gentle, and nurturing, with a culture that still rewards power."
