Nurse ‘forever' haunted by image of toddler killed in Gaza
A Scottish nurse has told how she will be 'forever' haunted by the image of a dead toddler at a Gaza hospital where she worked.
Mel Graham, from Elderslie in Renfrewshire, has spoken about her two-month deployment to a UK Government-funded hospital in Al Mawasi between February and April this year.
Ms Graham, 50, says she has never been more frightened in her life, but wants to return to Gaza regardless in order to further help the those caught in the crossfire.
Two emergency field hospitals funded by the Foreign, Commonwealth & Development Office and run by Manchester-based frontline health charity UK-Med have treated more than 400,000 patients in Gaza so far.
Ms Graham said: 'I was in Gaza last year and didn't think it could possibly get any worse, but it has. That first night the ceasefire shattered was easily the worst thing I have ever experienced. Even though we knew it was coming, it was still such a shock.
'The sound of explosions and fighting were so close to the hospital, so we knew we were going to be busy. At maybe two or three in the morning the first casualties started coming in. It was a conveyor belt of carnage.
'My role involved triaging patients. Amongst that first load of patients brought in, there were was a two-year-old girl dead on arrival.
'There wasn't a mark on her and I just remember standing there thinking 'How can this happen?'. She looked completely perfect and was just covered in a thick layer of dust.
'It's different when you are dealing with people with visible injuries. With some blast injuries there are no obvious signs externally, but the shockwave had fatally affected her tiny wee lungs.
'The porters went to get a body bag for her, but the shortage of aid getting in meant there were only adult body bags available. She just disappeared into it.
'We took her to the temporary mortuary at the back of the hospital. We put two chairs out for the family to come in… but no-one ever came. I fear her parents had obviously been killed too.'
Traumatised by what she saw, Ms Graham continued: 'The sight of that little girl will haunt me forever. It is the thing that I think about most.
'It's at the forefront of my brain. It is not natural for a child to die like that.
'I didn't want to leave her there alone, but I had to get back to help the many other casualties who had been rushed in.'
More than 50,000 people have now been killed in the conflict and more than 90% of the Gaza population displaced from their homes, often on more than one occasion.
The UK announced £129 million in the last financial year (2024-25) for Occupied Palestinian Territories, including £11.5 million to support UK-Med's life-saving work in Gaza.
Ms Graham – who has also been deployed twice to conflict-hit Ukraine – said: 'When I was in Gaza last year, we heard explosions close to us, but this time my heart was in my mouth much of the time.
'Some bomb blasts were so close you'd feel your feet move first and then you heard the explosion. I don't know what the science is behind that.
'It was just one incident after another. Two of the 14 Palestinian Red Crescent Society ambulance workers killed had left from our field hospital. They were our colleagues. The news shook me to the core.
'Last year, our accommodation shook a few times, but this year it was practically every day. Sometimes you got woken up thinking 'I can't believe I've not got a whole house on top of me'.
'Honestly, I wasn't entirely sure I was going to make it out. That's how scary it was. I'm a bit embarrassed to say that because the people in Gaza are experiencing that 24/7, 365 days a year.
'The emotions are strange because it was brilliant to have done it and I do not regret it for a second. Once I've detangled my brain, I want to get back out. I feel like I still have one foot in Gaza and once I give myself some rest I'll want to get back.
'I find I struggle with the guilt of leaving. I struggled with the guilt of wanting to leave because the local people do not have that option. They are trapped. There's no respite for them.
'I also feel guilty putting my family through the worry. I know they are proud of the work I am doing but it's only natural they have concerns.'
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