Russell Watson reveals he contemplated suicide and wanted to jump from a hotel balcony because he was struggling with agonising pain of his brain tumour
The popular tenor, 58, said he contemplated jumping from a hotel balcony and admitted it was only the thought of his two young daughters being left without a dad that pulled him back from the brink.
Russell had suffered excruciating headaches for months before finally being diagnosed with a pituitary tumour in 2006 while recording an album in Los Angeles. Doctors told him he needed urgent surgery.
Speaking to Kaye Adams on her How To Be 60 podcast, the singer – the UK's best-selling classical artist of all time – said: 'My whole world came crashing down and the pain got worse – everything was exacerbated with the news of what he'd just told me.
'I was staying in a hotel in Beverly Hills and I was on the 8th floor and it was the first time I'd ever felt this way.
'I can't explain the pain – I've never felt anything like it before or since – it was like a dagger being pressed into the centre of my head and twisted.'
Russell added to the Loose Women star: 'It was excruciating and for one moment I stood on my hotel balcony. I literally just thought: "f**k this, I've had enough." And I felt like jumping.
'And then the thought of the children entered my head and they were little girls then - they're not going to manage without me. Back in the room. Went and lay on the bed, rinsed my face with cold water and took the pain on.'
Russell shares two daughters Becky, now 30 and Hannah, now 24, with ex-wife Helen Watson.
Russell, who was 39 at the time, decided to stay in Los Angeles and continue working on his album That's Life until tests confirmed whether the tumour was malignant or benign. Not sure if he would survive, he believed the record could be the last thing he ever recorded.
He said: 'And being the idiot that I am – I still to this day don't know if it was the right or the wrong decision - but I didn't tell my friends or my family and I went to the studio and I recorded the album.
'I don't remember making it. At that point I wasn't sure whether I was going to live or die or what was going to happen to me, but I felt at that time this might be my legacy; it might be the last thing I recorded. I finished the album and I got on a plane and I flew home and I had my first operation.'
He underwent a five-hour emergency operation to remove the eight-centimetre tumour at St George's Hospital in Tooting, South London.
The opera singer, who has sold more than seven million albums worldwide during his career, underwent further surgery in 2007 after a re-growth of the tumour and bleeding into his brain.
He recovered, but says he is reminded every day of how close he came to death, because of the daily drugs required following the surgery.
'Because of the damage that the tumour did, I'll be taking a lifetime of replacement drugs and hormones for as long as I'm here, predominantly to my pituitary gland which was pretty much decimated, so there's a constant reminder', he told How To Be 60.
'When people ask me about it, I don't feel a sense of – I don't want to talk about it, because that was years ago. It still feels like it's now, because the after effects of it still exist.
'I have to take daily injections and tablets, particularly hydrocortisone, which I was told if I didn't take for a specific amount of time I wouldn't be here anymore. It's the lifesaving drug for me and growth hormones.
'All these different things enhance my life and how I feel, but also, the flip side of that, they affect how I function and how I feel each day.'
Russell has openly spoken about his brain tumour battle over the years.
His 2024 book Encore: My journey back to centre stage, talks about his return to the limelight following the terrifying battle.
In the years following his diagnosis, Russell battled crippling treatment, lifesaving operations, HRT therapy and mental health struggles - before being told he would likely never sing again.
He said: 'My diagnosis changed everything - all I could think about was how my wife and daughters would survive without me.
'It was difficult to see beyond my illness at the time, but to be alive and healthy 15 years later is something I'm eternally grateful for.
'Often when we are writing wills we think about those closest to us. But a will, much like a piece of music, has the power to touch the lives of so many more.
'I want others to receive the kind of life-saving treatment that I did, to give that gift of time for which I'm so grateful every day.'
Meanwhile in 2018, Russell spoke candidly about his harrowing experience, admitting he has to take a 'cocktail of drugs' every day to keep himself alive.
The performer admitted he used to 'panic he would die in his sleep', after doctors discovered a tumour had returned on his pituitary gland back in 2007.
'Initially it was a minefield, because I was taking this whole cocktail of drugs to stay alive,' he told Best Magazine.
'It used to get me down, I would get very depressed.
'I'd go to bed at night but wouldn't be able to get to sleep - I'd panic because I thought I would die if I fell asleep.'
The previous year, Russell told This Morning that while he was in the midst of conquering the second tumour, he believed he'd died.
He said: 'When I came round after the second op, I remember my eyes flickering open and I saw two white shadows and thought, I did make it to heaven that's nice.
'Then I realised it was the kids and there were tears streaming down my face.'
Manchester-born Russell, who started life as a factory bolt-cutter, found fame with his 2000 album The Voice. But two years later his personal life came crashing down with his divorce from his first wife, Helen.
Russell revealed to Kaye Adams, that for a while he wasn't allowed to see the couple's two daughters Becky and Hannah.
'It was a very difficult time. The breakdown of my marriage was a testing time for me,' he admitted. 'There was a period of time where I wasn't able to see my children and so I had to go to a court and get permission from a judge and that took a long time and it was hell.
'When a court judge decided: "yes, you can actually see your children," it was a fantastic moment.'
Russell, who lives on a farm in Cheshire with his second wife Louise, said he and his daughters Becky, 30 and Hannah, 24, are now closer than ever.
He said: 'A lot of time was spent trying to conquer the world, but whilst it was happening, those first two years I think I rarely saw home.
'Even though I had massive success, I was still looking at myself in the mirror and thinking: was this all worth it? Because I'd missed a lot of the important years with regards to my children.
'I've definitely made up for it now, because even at 30 and 24 they're so massively reliant on me. They've moved into the area that I live and our relationship is stronger and better than it's ever been. I would give it all up for my kids.'
Russell is embarking on his Evolution Tour this autumn to celebrate 25 years of music. But he said that getting older had made him question his mortality.
He told Kaye Adams: 'We do become more self-aware as we progress in age, of how much time we may potentially, hopefully, have left on the planet and it's a sobering thought.
'I know it sounds morbid, but I really don't like the thought of everybody that I love and myself not being here anymore. It makes me really want to focus heavily on the things that I think are important in life and that's friendship, love and family.
'As I approach 60, I feel like it's hitting me quite hard at the moment. I remember a few months back, I woke up in the middle of the night for no particular reason and I just thought: "oh my God, at some point I'm not going to exist anymore in this plane of life and neither is everybody else that I love and care for." And it upsets me.'
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The Guardian
20 minutes ago
- The Guardian
‘It was a really scary house': Princess Andre on privacy, fun, ambition – and life with Katie Price
Princess Tiaamii Crystal Esther Andre is no stranger to TV. She made her debut in the reality show Katie & Peter: The Baby Diaries which documented the first six weeks of her life. Her first two years were chronicled in subsequent reality shows, until her parents, the model and entrepreneur Katie Price and the singer Peter Andre, split up in 2009. Andre continued to make regular appearances on her parents' solo reality shows. Now that she has come of age, 18-year-old Andre has her own four-part reality show, The Princess Diaries, on ITV2. As you would expect, it has already made headlines. While her father is a regular on the show, her mother is not. As I approach the cafe in Surrey where we are meeting, the Sun and the Mirror publish stories saying that Price is devastated not to have been invited to Andre's 18th birthday party or to have been included in the show, adding that her daughter is 'too scared' to tell the truth about the family rift. So, business as usual. Andre is here today with her manager, Marie-Claire Giddings – another echo from the past. When Peter and Price were making reality shows together, their manager, Claire Powell, was omnipresent. After their bitter divorce, Powell continued to manage Peter. Neither she nor Peter talk to Price today. Giddings works for Powell. I tell Andre that we have met before. She looks surprised. No wonder. Andre was eight months old at the time and I was interviewing her mother. There is a symmetry to their lives that astonishes Andre. Price, then known as Jordan, was queen of the Page 3 slot in the Sun by 18. 'As I started building my own career, Mum said it's crazy that I was your age when I started doing these things. I was like: really! I was shocked.' About her doing topless modelling at such a young age? 'No, that she was so successful at that age.' Andre says she probably wouldn't do topless modelling herself. 'That's not as popular nowadays and it just doesn't appeal to me. But I have nothing against anyone who does it, obviously.' She orders a hot chocolate. Price became a hugely successful brand. By the time we met in 2007, she had lines in makeup, books, bras – you name it – and was worth an estimated £30m, although she was subsequently declared bankrupt twice (in 2019 and 2024). Andre says in her show that few people are aware of her own ambitions to be a successful businesswoman. I show her the headline from the 2007 piece I wrote about her mum: 'Who wants to be a billionaire?' 'No way! That's crazy.' Would the same headline be appropriate for her? 'Would I want to be a billionaire? Well, that's my aim!' 'You just want to be successful,' Giddings corrects her. 'Yeah, I just want to be successful and be able to provide for my future and my family when I have one,' Andre says. She sips her drink thoughtfully. Then she has a brainwave. 'I want to take a picture of my hot chocolate,' she says. Will it be Instagrammed? She shakes her head. 'No, this will be Snapchatted.' Giddings laughs. 'This is literally my life,' she says apologetically. 'So don't feel insulted!' Did Andre always want to star in her own reality show? 'I always loved being in front of a camera.' She thinks back to when she was a toddler on TV. 'I'd come in the room and …' She tilts her head to the side, in modelling mode. 'I loved the entertainment. When I was asked to do my own, I was sceptical because of my age, but, yes, I've also always wanted to do it.' As well as the obvious similarities, there are also huge differences between Andre and her mother. While Price is a funny, reckless, potty-mouthed force of nature, Andre is more like her father – polite, respectful, more reserved. I ask if she ever fancied being a doctor, like her father's wife, her stepmother Emily MacDonagh, who is also prominent in the show. 'No, the doctor path was never for me.' She went to a private school in Surrey and left to study beauty at 16. Were you swotty at school? 'What does that mean?' Did you work hard? 'Oh, yes, in the subjects I liked, I was good. I left after GCSEs.' Did you pass them? 'Yes,' Giddings answers on her behalf. Andre says: 'I passed three of them. Music, fashion and English language. I like creative writing. I'm quite good at waffling.' Perhaps Andre was destined for a life in reality TV. Yet she says she is self-conscious. In the show, she says she always thought her nose was too big and her lips too thin and that she 'hated' the way she looked. Whereas surgery was the answer for her mother, makeup is Andre's solution. 'You can change anything with makeup,' she says. 'Now, I feel a lot more confident.' What made her so self-conscious? 'Social media,' she says instantly. 'When I was younger, I got comments about my appearance.' If this was Price, she would tell you every detail. But not Andre. She simply smiles and asserts herself. 'I don't let the comments get in the way of anything.' In The Princess Diaries, we see her showing her father some of the comments. When she tells him that one man has posted about her 'finally being legal', he is furious. But that is simply the generational difference, she says. 'Dad grew up with TV. Social media, TikTok, Instagram and Snapchat weren't around then. Those comments are everyday, normalised, so they don't really shock me.' In Andre's world, you live and die by social media. As an 'influencer', you are nothing without it, however hurtful it can be. I tell her that, as an old git, I have never quite understood what it is to be an influencer; I ask if she can explain. 'I guess it's someone who influences people to do stuff. I influence younger people with what I post.' Does she influence what they wear and buy? 'Yeah. My content is very organic, though – very real. Make up stories, which is what I do.' Giddings, a former tabloid journalist, rushes to the rescue. 'Makeup! Not as in 'making up stories'. I didn't want you to think she's sitting there busy making up stories.' Does she get paid to promote stuff? 'Yes. I don't get paid for normal posts. I like to post for my audience out of choice, not because I'm getting paid for it. But then there are branded posts or PR posts that I would get paid for.' Giddings: 'But it's only brands that she's using already.' Andre: 'I would never promote a brand that I don't like or don't have an interest in.' Are you making a good living out of it? 'Yeah.' Are you wealthy? 'Well, you could say so!' How much do you earn in a year? 'I can't tell you that, sorry.' The most important brand is, of course, Andre herself. She prides herself on being natural (no fillers, no Botox), but stresses that it's neither a political nor a permanent position. When she was training as a beautician, it was an area of interest. 'I would have loved to have done that as a job,' she says. 'I was going to go into aesthetics, doing other people's fillers and stuff, 'cos the way it works interests me. But personally I don't think I will get any, just because my audience is so young. I want to be an inspiration for them. You should love yourself for you and not have to change yourself.' Has her mother, who has had numerous surgical augmentations and reductions, advised her on this? 'Yeah. Mum said: 'Don't ever get anything done to yourself. You're so beautiful the way you are.' I found that interesting because I get told I look a lot like her at a young age. She'll say to me: 'In that picture, you look just like me when I was younger.'' Does she think Price regrets all her surgery? 'No. There are pictures that I've seen of her before [surgery] and I was like: 'You look so beautiful then,' and she's like: 'No!' She doesn't see it. So I don't think she does regret it.'' In her show, Andre says she wishes her childhood had been happier, but she doesn't go into details. Today, I ask if she can explain a bit more. Instead, she chooses to explain a bit less, telling me that she has so many happy memories from childhood – holidays, riding horses, having fun with her siblings. You sense she wants to give just enough to satisfy reality TV, but not so much that she ransacks her privacy. I ask again about the unhappiness. 'Oh!' she says. Giddings prompts her. 'You talk about South Africa in the show.' 'Oh yeah, we got hijacked in South Africa when I was 10 and [her brother] Junior was 12. I was terrified. We were filming for a show with mum and her best friend.' It does sound terrifying. They were surrounded by six gunmen and her mother was sexually assaulted. 'It's one of the worst things I've experienced in my life. You don't think of anything else apart from trying to survive it. The police said it was a miracle that we all survived.' It still affects her. 'I get scared of the dark and driving at night-time, 'cos that's when it happened. I get random flashbacks. If I'm driving at night, I'm like: 'Oh my God, just get me home.' I don't even look behind me.' There are other sources of unhappiness that she prefers not to go into: her parents splitting up; Price's separation from her third husband, Kieran Hayler, the father of two of Andre's siblings. She had been close to Hayler, but now they don't see each other. Many of Price's reality shows were set in the aptly named Mucky Mansion, a nine-bedroom property in Sussex formerly owned by Price. Did Andre like living there? 'No. It was a really scary house. A lot went on there. So I didn't really like it.' Again, she doesn't go into details. 'I guess when you have bad experiences somewhere you don't like the place.' A few years ago, Price experienced severe depression and became suicidal. In 2021, she had a terrible car crash while under the influence of alcohol and drugs. By this point, Andre and Junior had been living with their father full-time for three years. 'There was a period of time when me and Junior actually had to live with my dad,' she says, referring to a 2019 family court order made public this week by her father. (In response, a spokesperson for Price said she was 'at peace with the situation'.) Andre says Price is in a much better place; she moves between their homes depending on how she feels. 'Dad's house is a lot quieter, a lot more peaceful, a lot more organised. Whereas my mum's house is much more just do what you want.' Does she prefer discipline or chaos? 'I love being in the middle. I love the two different houses, because if I fancy a bit more chaotic and busy I'll go to Mum's and if I fancy more relaxed I'll go to Dad's.' Has her father been a stabilising influence? She looks at Giddings anxiously. 'This is going to come across really bad, isn't it?' she asks. 'Like, it's talking about how Mum's a mess and Dad is stable, d'you know what I mean?' It's touching how protective she is of Price. She turns back to me. 'Right now, Mum is completely different to how she was four years ago. If we're talking about the past, yes, my dad was more stable and Mum is naturally more crazy than my dad.' 'Not crazy!' Giddings corrects. 'Out there!' 'If you saw her now, she's way different,' Andre says. She talks about how close she is to all seven of her siblings, giving a special mention to Theo and Millie, the eldest of Peter and MacDonagh's children, who are born entertainers, she says. Has she learned a lot from growing up with Harvey, Price's eldest child, who is severely disabled and a reality star in his own right? Her eyes light up. 'Yes, 100%. You learn patience. Ways of communicating. How to deal with his outbursts. How to calm him down. And as much as he is hard work, he is the funniest person I know.' I ask if he is still into trains. 'He loves trains. He loves frogs. He loves rainbows. And food.' 'Well, you've got that in common,' Giddings says. I mention the stories that have just been published online, saying Price is upset with Andre. The thing is, Andre says, there will generally be some truth in the tabloid tales, but it won't be the truth. Take the reality show. While it's true that Price wasn't filmed for it, we do hear mother and daughter chatting lovingly on the phone. 'There's been a lot of articles about 'Princess doesn't want her mum in the show',' she says. Why was that decision made? 'There was actually no decision, really. But because I'm living with Dad at the moment, he was in it more.' Well, that and the fact that her management team is also Andre's management team. 'It was never true that I said I didn't want her in it,' she insists. As for the idea of Peter Andre and Price being in it together, that never would have happened. 'They don't like each other,' she says, simply. Which takes us to Birthdaygate. Yes, it's true that Price wasn't invited to the party Princess had with Peter's family, but that was never on the cards. 'It would be quite strange for my mum and dad to be in it at the same time, just because that's never been the case in my life since they split up.'' The reality is she would usually spend part of her birthday with each parent, she says. 'The problem is the media like to twist the knife,' she says. Ah, but this time it isn't the media twisting the knife, Giddings says. 'It was your mum that put that story out there.' 'Yeah,' Andre says, searching for a diplomatic response. 'Which is … interesting.' 'That was Kate that said all of that about her and her family not being invited,' Giddings continues. Why don't you just ring your mum and ask her what she is playing at, I suggest. No, she says, it's not worth it. 'Mum can be annoyed about something and then we send each other a message and we're fine.' Blimey, I say, it's not easy having parents is it? 'No,' she says. 'Especially divorced parents.' Andre hopes her reality show is the gateway to a successful business career. She says she understands the positives and the pitfalls. 'No matter what I do in my life, I'll get compared to my mum. I guess it's always going to be a headline.' And now it's up to Andre to show the world whether that has been her fortune or misfortune. The Princess Diaries is on ITVX now Do you have an opinion on the issues raised in this article? If you would like to submit a response of up to 300 words by email to be considered for publication in our letters section, please click here.
BBC News
20 minutes ago
- BBC News
Dunkirk 'little ships' will open to the public in September
Several of the surviving Dunkirk little ships will be open to the public in September. The Classic Boat Festival organisers say attendees can step aboard the vessels which sailed across the Channel to rescue trapped Allied soldiers in 1940 as part of Operation Dynamo. In what Winston Churchill dubbed "the miracle of Dunkirk", about 1,000 little ships sailed through heavy enemy fire to rescue more than 338,000 British and Allied troops from Dunkirk's boats form part of more than 50 vintage vessels will assemble at The Classic Boat Festival in St Katharine Docks on Saturday 6 and Sunday 7 September. The little ships took part in 85th anniversary celebrations of Dunkirk in May, by recreating their voyage from Ramsgate to Dunkirk and back. In 1940, hundreds of small boat owners answered a call by the Admiralty to sail to the south-east coast to be used by the Royal Navy in its rescue mission. Also included in the free festival are motorboats from the Bates Star Craft range, historic tugs, and a commanding Navy P2000 vessel. In its 16th year the festival extends into the west basin, with larger vessels such as Thames sailing barges displayed along the public will also have the opportunity to step aboard some of the vessels and meet the owners who have preserved these nautical treasures, say organisers.
Daily Mail
20 minutes ago
- Daily Mail
Kate Middleton's go-to brand for chic blazers, co-ords and court shoes launches huge summer sale - here are the best Princess-approved buys
Daily Mail journalists select and curate the products that feature on our site. If you make a purchase via links on this page we will earn commission - learn more Royal favourite LK Bennett has just unveiled a huge online sale, offering significant savings across blazers, dresses, handbags and more. The label, beloved by several members of the Royal Family - including the Princess of Wales - is known for its timeless designs and impeccable craftsmanship. Kate owns an array of LK Bennett clothing and accessories, many of which have become style signatures. One of her most-worn staples, the Fern Patent Leather Courts, is now 25 per cent off. Handcrafted in Spain from buttery-soft nude nappa leather, these elegant heels feature a pointed toe and sleek stiletto - perfect for transitioning from office hours to evening plans. For a touch of refined tailoring, the Charlie Tweed Jacket is a standout. Made from luxurious Italian fabric and finished with embossed buttons, it works beautifully with the matching skirt or paired with jeans on a more casual occasion. If you're shopping for an event, the Jem Tea Dress - in vivid fuchsia scattered with wildflowers - is ideal for weddings, while the pastel blue Kate Shirt Dress, complete with contrast collar and cuffs, offers understated elegance. For evening glamour, the Sequin Maxi Dress is a true showstopper with its flattering square neckline, a skimming silhouette and eye-catching purple hue. Trend-lovers will appreciate the Leigh Wool Blend Jumper in this season's must-have orange, a versatile knit that works now and well into autumn. Another clever style update comes in the form of Allie Pearl Shoe Clips - a chic and affordable way to refresh your trusty heels. And if you're heading on holiday, don't miss the foldable Straw Visor and coordinating Raffia Pouch, both now half price - stylish, practical and suitcase-friendly. Explore these finds and more in LK Bennett's online sale while stocks last.
