Foxed by Eurovision and a shoe paradox
An opportunity for the continent of Europe to flush out of its system all the corniest and most deranged tunes written so far this year, as a cacophony of caterwaulers yelped and yodelled in Switzerland.
Reader Sue Paxton watched the show on telly, along with her 10 year old daughter, plus Sue's mum, who happened to be visiting for the weekend.
Just before the proceedings began, Sue mentioned that the shindig was taking place in Basel.
'Basil?' said her mum, perhaps not entirely focused on the topic of discussion. 'Isn't that the fox in the waistcoat?'
Sue's daughter was shocked by this comment.
'Gran!' she scolded. 'Foxes don't wear waistcoats. You should know that.'
Dry humour
The hot and arid weather is making an impact, with Scottish Water urging people to use less of their liquidy stuff by taking brief showers and avoiding the use of hoses.
However, the firm stopped short of calling for a full prohibition on hosepipes.
Reader David Donaldson says it's not so much an outright ban as a… 'Gonnae no spray that.'
What's the skinny?
The Diary recently repeated the useful maxim 'never trust an electrician with no eyebrows', which reminds Jim Pairman from Scone of another sound slice of advice: 'Never trust a thin chef.'
: Deedee Cuddihy spotted this number plate on Byres Road and concludes that even the motorcars are starting to wilt and wail about the weather (Image: Deedee Cuddihy)
Child's play
We mentioned above that one of our correspondents tuned into the Eurovision Song Contest.
Imagine our surprise to discover that ANOTHER correspondent also watched the show.
(Were all the pubs shut on Saturday evening?)
After reader Jennifer Hobson's husband had endured the British entry, he gave a backhanded compliment to the song…
'Bet that would be popular in a primary school disco,' he said.
Double trouble
Sweet toothed reader Jeremy Hobson was in a café, enjoying a bun and cuppa.
He likes to heap six teaspoons of sugar in his tea, a fact that did not go unnoticed by the eagle-eyed waitress, who watched him loading up, mouth agape, then cheekily asked: 'Dae ye want me to bring some sugar tae go with yer sugar?'
Footering about
The other day reader Stevie Campbell was chatting with a pal about the delights of footwear, and happened to say: "I feel as if I've owned my new shoes for a lifetime."
"Is that not a paradox?" enquired his pal.
'No,' corrected Stevie, 'it's a pair of Docs."
Size matters
Excitable reader Gary Henderson tells us: 'I love hyperbole more than anybody else in the world does.'
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