Groom's Parents Gave Couple Money for Their Wedding — Then Demanded It Back After Drama on the Big Day
A bride shared on Reddit that she recently got married and her in-laws demonstrated "hurtful" behavior on the big day
When her husband later sent "a calm and respectful" message to his parents about what happened, they demanded that the couple return the $5,000 they were given toward their wedding expenses
"It feels like they are using money to avoid taking responsibility for their behavior," the bride pointed outA new bride says her in-laws spoiled her wedding with their "hurtful" behavior — and when they got called out, they demanded that she and the groom return the money they were given.
The bride shared her story in a post on Reddit's "Wedding Drama" forum, explaining that she and her husband recently got married and the day was "beautiful and full of love." However, instead of basking in the warm memories, she said she "can't stop thinking about how my husband's parents behaved, especially my [mother-in-law]."
She went on to recount some of the frustrating things that happened with the groom's parents. On the morning of the wedding, her mother-in-law was supposed to join the bride, along with her mom, grandmother and bridal party, at 9 a.m. to get ready as a group.
"At 9:01 a.m., she texted and said she had decided not to come early after all. Instead, she would show up at 2:00 p.m. with my [father-in-law]," the OP (original poster) said, noting, "I had already paid for her hair and makeup, so her last-minute cancellation left me out about $250."
The OP said that while her mother-in-law's no-show was "disappointing," she was more hurt by the fact that the woman "did not say a single word" to her during the wedding. "No congratulations, no acknowledgment, not even a hello," she wrote.
The mother-in-law caused further trouble when she and the groom's father, after previously agreeing to smoke only in the designated area at the venue, "disregarded" the rules multiple times. "The venue staff had to ask them repeatedly to stop smoking near the building," the OP said.
Then, as the wedding reception was carrying on, the in-laws left early without saying goodbye to their son and daughter-in-law.
Baffled and hurt by his parents' behavior, the groom later sent them "a calm and respectful" message expressing why their actions had been disappointing. He and the OP were taken aback by their reply.
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"Rather than acknowledging anything or being open to a conversation, they responded by demanding that we return the $5,000 they had given us toward the wedding," the OP wrote.
"This money was given as a gift. We never asked for it, and there were no conditions attached at the time," she continued. "Now it feels like they are using money to avoid taking responsibility for their behavior."
The OP concluded her post by asking fellow Redditors if they've "dealt with something similar," while noting, "[My in-laws'] actions have made it difficult to imagine how we move forward from here."
Some readers were quick to urge the bride to keep the money and shrug off the drama from her in-laws.
"It was a gift. Do not return it," one person wrote, while another said, "Nope! It's yours now."
Others, however, felt the couple should give back the money so the in-laws wouldn't have anything to "hold over" them.
"Send it back so that the ledger is clear," one commenter advised. "They paid nothing for your wedding; they have nothing to hold over you now or ever. Then you can move on with your marriage and ignore them."
One reader told the OP that she should take a step back and let her husband manage his own parents.
"This is a situation where your husband must have a sit-down discussion with them. He needs to get them to tell him what the problem is," they wrote. "This is not about the money. They are just using it as a weapon against you for whatever has gotten them upset."
"Don't wait. The longer they have to stew about whatever it is, the harder it will be to resolve it," they added.
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