Why young men seek community in the ‘manosphere'

Yahoo

20 hours ago

'Adolescence,' Netflix's hit mini-series about a young man who commits a horrific act of violence after engaging with incel ideology online, brightened the media spotlight on the 'manosphere.'
The manosphere — a web of online communities, podcasts and influencers that promote conversations about modern masculinity but often misogyny, as well — was already on the minds of many parents and researchers, but the show put the debate around it into hyperdrive.
Some, including the prime minister of the United Kingdom, praised the show for making it clear that the manosphere is leading boys and young men to dangerous places. But others felt the show overplayed the potential for violence and overlooked how many people engage with manosphere content just for fun.
Researchers that spoke with the Deseret News about the state of the manosphere agreed that the situation is more nuanced than is often discussed.
For one thing, it should be acknowledged that boys and young men who are engaging with this content are often trying to solve a very real problem: the lack of spaces where they are free to discuss their fears, said Daniel Cox, director of the Survey Center on American Life.
'You have podcasters and influencers who are talking to young men and talking about the problems that they have, the experiences that they can relate to,' Cox explained. 'And there's just so few other places they can have this kind of freewheeling, engaged conversations and feel like they're part of something.'
That's one reason why Cox and other experts recommend entering into conversations with young people about the manosphere without judgment. Your goal should not be demonizing this online space, but instead seeking understanding.
'The first thing I often say to parents is listen to your young people, be prepared to listen,' said Craig Haslop, a senior lecturer at University of Liverpool who has done research on the manosphere.
Research shows that young boys and men are struggling now more than ever before.
According to The New York Times, girls now outperform boys in reading tests and achieve higher GPAs at school, while boys are 'more likely to be suspended.'
Girls are also more likely to graduate from high school than boys and 'outnumber men in college enrollment.'
As boys transition into adulthood, they're delaying important and traditional milestones. This trend is present among young women, too, but young men typically feel it more acutely.
According to The New York Times, 19% of men between 25 and 34 live with their parents, in comparison to 13% of women. Men are also slightly more likely to be single — 39% of men are single compared to 36% of women, Pew Research Center found in 2021.
Men are also facing new challenges in the workforce. As The New York Times pointed out, 'many of the jobs that mostly men did, like manual labor, have disappeared in the United States.'
'Of men ages 25 to 54, 89% are in the labor force, down from 94% in 1975. Of women that age, 78% are in the labor force, up from 55% in 1975,' the article noted.
To put it simply, young boys and men are falling behind and unsure of how to catch up.
According to Cox, many manosphere influencers have zeroed in on these issues and provided one of the few spaces where boys can commiserate about their problems.
'I think, to be fair, a lot of these podcasters are probably accurate in identifying some of the challenges that young men are facing,' he said. 'Whether it's economic challenges of the system (and) the fact that, in politics, the system is not responsive to the concerns that many young men have.'
Most boys and young men likely aren't initially interested in the misogynistic ideas that circulate in the manosphere, Cox added. They're just looking for examples of how to be men in modern society and for solutions to their struggles.
'I think, something that those folks tend to do is speak very clearly about gender roles and articulate a clear vision of masculinity,' Cox said. 'And even if much of what they're articulating is not achievable or problematic, it is a clear roadmap.'
Manosphere influencers, like Andrew Tate, offer advice about the very real concerns on young men's minds, including how to do better at school, how to get dates and how to make more money.
But according to Haslop, this advice can drive a wedge between young men and young women.
Manosphere influencers 'will reiterate what might seem like innocuous stereotypes, but (that) actually do undermine women,' he said.
Listeners or readers may not realize they're becoming more hostile toward women because the content they're consuming seems to fit their experiences, Cox said.
They often observe their female counterparts, especially in school, 'getting better grades, getting into better schools, getting awards, getting all the attention. And they're like, wait a second, the story that I'm being told about gender inequality and gender disparity, that's not what I'm seeing in my own life experience,' he said.
But this discussion of these trends becomes problematic when it pushes young men into a victim mindset instead of encouraging them to form meaningful connections and try new things.
'It's about you getting what you deserve. It's not about service or not about sacrifice. It's only about how you're feeling and validating your feelings and emotions,' Cox said.
Users may end up angry and withdrawn from the world, a trend that stands to deepen the male loneliness epidemic.
'These guys who fall down the manosphere rabbit hole ... are unable to forge and develop the kind of relationships that could help them avoid some of the more toxic lessons that the manosphere is teaching,' Cox said.
Harriet Over, a professor at University of York and co-author of 'What do we need to know about the manosphere and young people's mental health?,' also worries about the manosphere's potential influence on mental health.
'Some influencers claim that 'depression isn't real' and that successful men can't get depressed,' she wrote in an email. 'The risk is that engaging with this type of content will discourage young men from seeking out valuable sources of support.'
According to Over, there are a few warning signs that parents can look out for if they're worried about their child's relationship with manosphere content.
'One possibility is that children may start to express views they haven't spoken about before,' she said. 'For example ... some influencers are advocating for women to lose the vote.'
Over also recommends keeping an ear out for any incel terminology, like 'black pill' or 'red pill.'
But both Over and Haslop recommend listening without judgment.
'From our research, one of these we really recommended is to avoid demonizing those influences like Tate,' Haslop said, since criticism can reinforce the narrative that these creators are being targeted for unfair attacks.
Instead, Haslop recommends that parents teach their children 'good, critical digital literacy' and encourage them to fact-check and assess information they come across in the manosphere — especially misogynistic or racist content.
Over recommends a similar approach.
'Encourage them to think critically about what they view,' she said.
Over suggested asking your children these questions:
Can you think of counter examples to what the influencers are saying?
What do you think the influencers' motivations are in saying things like that?
How do you think hearing disrespectful or unkind content makes other people feel?
Both Cox and Haslop said young boys and men need spaces to express their feelings and talk about their issues without judgement.
'I think it's definitely one of the issues we've got in society is men not being able to feel they can talk about stuff, being open, being vulnerable,' Haslop said.
As Cox pointed out, there's plenty of 'upside(s) for female-only places,' while similar male spaces have 'come under critique.'
'The locker room can ... be a place where young men are kind of feeling out the ways for them to engage with each other,' Cox said.
What we need, Haslop said, is for any environment where young men gather — school, sports, etc. — to encourage boys to be vulnerable with each other, talk about their issues and dismantle negative gender stereotypes.
Families should have these discussions, too.
While we should be worried about boys and young men who feel lost today, this is hardly the first time that experts are wringing their hands over a masculinity crisis, Haslop said.
What's new is that digital spaces, including social media sites and podcast feeds, make it possible for problematic responses to today's crisis to spread like wildfire.
Moving forward, Cox said he'll be watching for what the rise of the manosphere means for young men's relationships, particularly with young women.
As more young boys and men are being drawn into the manosphere, more young women are expressing their aversion for manosphere ideology and the men who promote it.
'I am interested in where this is going,' Cox said. 'Where does it all end, societally? ... Where do we go from here?'