5 relationship secrets you should never reveal, according to psychology

The Sun

8 hours ago

PSYCHOLOGISTS have revealed the five things you should never tell other people about your relationship.
Whether your romance is blossoming or you've been with your partner for 30 years, it is natural to want to confide with friends and relatives about the good, the bad and the ugly.
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However, revealing some relationship secrets can lead to judgement, broken trust and resentment, according to psychology.
1. Your partners weaknesses and insecurities
Nobody's perfect, but psychologists warn that telling other people about your partner's weaknesses and insecurities can feel like a betrayal of trust.
It is likely that your partner shared these insecurities with you in confidence, meaning that they trusted you not to share the details with anyone else.
Psychologists call this a "violation of emotional safety and trust", and once broken, it is hard to rebuild.
Your arguments
Following a blow-up with a partner, it may be tempting to immediately run to friends and family for support.
However, your loved ones will often hold grudges towards your partner, even after you've made up.
According to psychologists, this reinforces confirmation bias, and creates a negative image about your partner.
Your partners financial details
Money is a sensitive topic in many relationships, and according to psychologists, exposing your partner's income, debts and spending habits can be extremely embarrassing.
It can also lead to a lack of trust, and affect their sense of respect.
However, psychologists say that financial transparency is very important between couples themselves.
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Bedroom intimacy
Whether you've shared a wild night of passion on holiday, or are struggling to get your spark back after years of marriage, it can be tempting to share intimate details with your friends.
However, psychologists reveal that sharing bedroom secrets can lead to a breach of trust and end up hurting your partner.
Keeping these intimate details private helps to create emotional safety and build trust in the relationship.
15 Relationship red flags to look out for
Red flags are warning signs that indicate unhealthy or manipulative behaviour. When you encounter relationship red flags, it's a good time to pause and reflect on the dynamic you really share with that person.
Overly controlling behaviour
Lack of trust
Feeling low self-esteem
Physical, emotional, or mental abuse
Substance abuse
Narcissism
Anger management issues
Codependency
Inability to resolve conflict
Constant jealousy
Gaslighting
Lack of emotional intelligence
Negatively affecting your relationship with family and friends
Inability to communicate openly
Lack of social connection or friends
For more advice and support, Relate is available: "Whether it's your relationship with a partner, a child, a family member or anyone else - we help everyone to build better relationships."
Their secrets
People often tell their partners secrets about their past, family life or personal struggles that they may have never told anyone else.
Therefore, if you tell these secrets to anyone else, it is likely that they will feel betrayed or hurt.
According to psychologists, this breaks down "attachment security" and creates emotional distance.
If you feel like you need to discuss issues with your partner with someone else, psychologists say it is best to speak to a relationship counsellor.