
I tried the new Crieff Hydro restaurants and bars after £5m makeover
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Though it's my first time at the hotel, almost everyone I've told about this weekend's trip back in Glasgow has had their own fond memories of the Hydro to share.
"Let me know if the giant chess set is still on the grounds," a friend ask after reminiscing over family holidays. Another urges me not to skip the Victorian Baths, "there are no kids allowed," she says, "you need a passcode from the front desk to get in, and it's so peaceful."
Alice, who is accompanying me on the trip, is also no stranger to the hotel with family who hail from nearby, but as we step into the reception area, she notes that this sleek room with plush seating areas and heavy lighting fixtures suspended from the ceiling is nothing like the one she remembers.
Even among the chaos of families scrabbling to make it to the desk for check-out, this newly revamped space offers a real wow-factor welcome.
When it's our turn to step forward and pick up our room keys, they are handed over with a pair of maps detailing all there is to see at this historic spa hotel alongside a rundown of all the activities the team are offering today.
Should the mood strike, we could take part in a spot of archery, horseback riding or even a ceilidh later on in the evening.
We mull it over from the comfort of the stately armchairs in our room, perfectly positioned to make the most of views across the impossibly picturesque Strathearn Valley, and conclude that no decisions should be made on an empty stomach.
Pictured: Head to The Winter Garden for a light lunch (Image: Supplied)
A light lunch
The first of the new restaurant offerings on our list is The Winter Garden. Led past the beautiful ornate Ballroom Bar to our seats, there's an instant sense of calm in this bright and airy space.
Though there are families with young children about, at no point does it feel overcrowded or noisy.
We order a pair of saintly salads, one a classic Caesar with shavings of grand pandano and anchovies, and the other a superfood extravaganza.
Charred sprouting broccoli, roasted butternut squash, edamame beans and quinoa; there's so much goodness here I'm sure I'll leave the table an hour later a new person with glowing skin and boundless energy for the afternoon ahead.
Well, that might have been the case were it not for the side order of truffle and parmesan-topped fries. With each bite of crunchy, oily goodness, balance is restored to the universe.
Pictured: A superfood salad at The Winter Garden (Image: Supplied)
There are a few hiccups with service, which appear to be the result of tablet devices used for processing orders. It will become a recurring theme throughout the trip, as the system struggles to handle simple requests like a gin martini rather than the espresso version listed on the menu, but each time, the team deals with mix-ups professionally and promptly.
I wonder if a return to a trusty pen and pad might solve this problem, but in a resort as big as this with multiple food and drink outlets, it's understandable that a digital system might be the best way to keep track. It's only a month into the new menus after all, and I'm sure these kinks will be ironed out in time.
Pictured: East serves a small plates menu full of Asian flavours (Image: Supplied)
A few surprises in store
Did I think I would come face to face with a shaggy-haired, miniature goat during our stay? No. But that's just one of the fun surprises our afternoon stroll reveals.
It turns out that a number of farmyard animals, from donkeys to alpacas, call Crieff Hydro home, with guests even offered the chance to take part in trekks with their newfound furry friends.
Paired with the vast play area further up the hill, I'm now coming to appreciate how brilliant this place must be for families with kids.
After hopping aboard the 'Hydro Express' back to reception alongside a mix of bemused parents and awe-filled youngsters, there are more unexpected delights in store at the East restaurant.
Pictured: A veggie-friendly cabbage dish from East (Image: Supplied)
I'll admit to being sceptical when reading about this small plate dining concept that uses local Perthshire produce for dishes ranging from Hong Kong style whole sea bass to Filipino spatchcock chicken in Adobo spice.
The sheer scope of this menu felt dangerously overambitious.
Pictured: Slow-cooked Cambodian Spiced Lamb (Image: Supplied)
But it's a knockout meal. The slow-cooked Cambodian Spiced Lamb is my favourite of our choices, its tender chunks of meat sliding from the bone into rich masala sauce.
Elsewhere, Javanese chicken is wonderfully sticky and sweet, while veggie dishes of tempura samphire with honey Gouchujang sauce or chargrilled cabbage with crispy onions and wild mushrooms easily outshine the Duck Momos we had chosen as a 'safe bet'.
More than just another concept to add to their dining portfolio, East quietly proves itself to be a real powerhouse of a restaurant. Based on my first experience, I'd be tempted back to the hotel just to sample further options of Slains Farm sticky pork belly or Cantonese chilli monkfish tails.
Pictured: Take a seat at The Ballroom Bar as you crack the code to find The Hermitage (Image: Supplied)
A 'secret' spot
Before dinner at East had its chance to impress, our server had passed us a riddle printed on a piece of card to solve while we indulged in cocktails at the Ballroom Bar.
'Are we missing something really obvious here?' Alice asked after five minutes of back and forth as we tried to figure out the key to locating the hotel's secret speakeasy.
Without offering any spoilers to those planning to visit the Hydro in the future, the answer was yes. Yes, we were.
But with some gentle guidance from our host, we later made it through the hidden doorway to The Hermitage bar for a nightcap.
It's dark and moody inside, with the only light sources provided by small lamps on each table and a bar heavy with spirits and liquors used for a cocktail menu that's far more advanced than the one you'll find in the hotel's other spaces.
Think smoky mezcal-based numbers, local honey-infused sippers or sophisticated highballs.
Perhaps the best bit of this whole experience is the fact that there is strictly no photography allowed at The Hermitage. It's a bold move in an age where social media content reigns supreme, but one that really pays off, forcing you to focus on the here and now, while appreciating every last drop of your chosen drink.
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When the evening is over, we're directed to leave through a door leading straight back to a hallway area of the hotel. It's a little disorientating, but there's a real kick in knowing we had walked past this same concealed exit multiple times before with no inkling of the excitement awaiting on the other side of the wall.
The Hermitage will surely be the highlight of a stay for whisky and cocktail lovers.
Pictured: Afternoon tea and brunch is served in the Loggia (Image: Supplied)
Tea for two
Following a fabulous hot stone massage and time to enjoy the heated pool, sauna and steam room at the Victorian Baths, the next day we've one more dining space to explore before we depart the Crieff Hydro.
Though enjoying the same view framed by tall windows next door in the Winter Garden, there's a touch more elegance and grandeur at the Loggia, from the dainty glass chandeliers to towering flower arrangements and accents of baby pink dotted throughout.
It's almost like stepping into a doll's house, and exactly the sort of place you would expect to be served platters of bite-sized savouries like Cullen Skink tarts or salmon and prawn roulade, followed by a sweet selection of scones and cakes.
We have room to ourselves while finishing off pots of herbal teas, but it's easy to picture this room full on a special occasion like Mother's Day.
Once again, I'll find myself impressed by the versatility of the hotel's revamped spaces.
Others might have been eager to share their memories of the Crieff Hydro ahead of the trip, but I leave content to have made my own, and ready to return with tales of all the new treats in store for guests this summer.
For more information on the Crieff Hydro, including the new restaurant and bar spaces, visit www.crieffhydro.com.

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