Fran Kirby: ‘I've been through far worse than missing the Euros'

Times

a day ago

Footballer Fran Kirby, 31, grew up in Reading. She has represented England at four major tournaments and was part of the Lionesses team that won the Euros in 2022, but announced her retirement from international football on June 3. When she left Chelsea last year, she was the club's all-time top scorer. She now plays for Brighton & Hove Albion.
People online have said, 'She looks pretty big in that kit, doesn't she?' I score a hat-trick, but they still comment on my weight. At the top level, a lot of people worry they will get abused if they gain weight. I'm not willing to sacrifice my energy levels to look a certain way.
When I woke up the day after retiring, I didn't regret it. So it was clear to me I'd made the right choice. I had spoken to [England manager] Sarina Wiegman about where I stood with the Euros: I was probably not going or would be on standby. I said to her, 'I've been in this team a long time. I've had my health problems, my injury problems, and I've made a decision.' She was amazing the way she took it. But I still want to play in the WSL [Women's Super League] and give it my all.
Losing a parent at any age is tough. I was 14 [when her mother died]. I didn't know how to handle my emotions or how to grieve. Whenever I feel sad, I always think, this is nowhere near how you felt then. I've been through a lot worse in my life than not going to a Euros.
I was so ill with my heart condition, pericarditis. I knew I wasn't feeling right. I was tired and agitated, probably not a good person to be around. But as an athlete you think, I'm just tired from training. You don't think it's something sinister. So I ignored it. For a while, walking up and down the stairs counted as overdoing it. It was really tough.
I wanted to tell the England girls I was retiring to their faces, because they have been a massive part of my life. I didn't want them to find out through social media. Lucy [Bronze] said some really nice things that made me cry.
My dad was both Dad and Mum. For me to have him there at the Euros meant it was like she was there. I got emotional.
I was in pain every time I walked. So I had surgery for my knee problem. That was a relief, because even though I was missing the 2023 World Cup, I was fixing the issue.
Mary Earps's England career hasn't been plain sailing. I don't know the ins and outs of Mary's retirement, but it takes bravery to make that decision. She's an amazing advocate for the women's game, both on and off the pitch.
I hope Millie Bright takes the time she needs and doesn't feel pressure to come back. [ Bright withdrew from selection for the Euros.] It's not easy to have a conversation with a manager and say, 'I'm going through something at the moment.' She's doing it because she knows she might not be the team-mate everyone needs, which would then have an even bigger impact on your mental health.
I would have wanted my mum to have been at Wembley when it was my last game for England. Or my last game for Chelsea. I always want my mum to be there.
With my extreme fatigue, just because there's no diagnosis, it doesn't mean it's all in your head. I knew how exhausted I was, even though there was no science to back it up. It was really frustrating.
England are definitely one of the strongest teams going into the Euros. They have the squad capable of doing it. And the group is really tough. But we never had conversations like, 'We won the last one. We have to win the next one.'
A mural in her honour on the Kirby Estate in Bermondsey, London
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People will have something negative to say about you, no matter what you do. When I first got selected for England, I scored a goal in the World Cup, but the next game I didn't score. Bang, I was getting abuse: 'She doesn't even look like a footballer.'
I could enjoy the last three days of being an international footballer without any noise. I stayed in camp until the Tuesday, because I just wanted to be around the girls for the last few days. I didn't tell anyone what was going on. I didn't want anyone to treat me any differently. I didn't want people to look at me and be sad.