Everything I've learnt about travelling abroad with a toddler

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6 days ago

Even for the most seasoned traveller, taking a trip as a family can be a daunting prospect.
I spent a decade as a travel journalist and have a fair share of experience under my belt – but when it came to flying with my daughter for the first time, I was overwhelmed. There's so much to think about before you even set off that some, myself included, may wonder if it's easier to stay at home (or at least do a holiday in the UK).
But don't do that. With some meticulous planning, and a 'whatever happens, happens' attitude, you can get through it – since that first trip three-and-a-half years ago, I've conquered long-haul flights, including even a 10-hour one on my own with her. Here's what I've learnt.
In this guide:
Choosing where to go
Plane travel with babies
Plane travel with toddlers
Car hire with little ones onboard
Family packing tips
What to do when you're there
1. Location, location, location
Ideally, you want to minimise transit time on either side, so opt for destinations that don't require a long onward journey on arrival. For our first family holiday abroad, we picked Sintra, Portugal, an hour's drive from Lisbon, for simple, smart reasons: good weather, short flight, no time difference and an easy distance from an airport with many flights from the UK.
You can also opt to break up journeys for longer-haul travel – we flew to Athens, where we stayed for a few nights, before a ferry to the Cyclades, to break up what would have been a full-on 24 hours of travel. (A note on ferries: once you're on them, they're great, because there are no rules about sitting down.)
2. Picking a plane seat
To book seats or not to book seats?
I have done both. If you're travelling with a baby on British Airways, you can choose a seat for yourself and everyone in your booking (up to nine people), free of charge, which is a boon. On Ryanair, children (aged two to 11 years) receive free reserved seating so they can sit beside a parent.
All children under 12 need to be seated with an adult (defined as over 16) on a flight, though do note that some airlines' policies only 'attempt' to sit families together, or else define 'together' as within arm's reach – so to be completely sure you are next to each other, pay to reserve seats or check-in at the earliest possible time or you might find yourself asking to switch seats with other passengers, which doesn't always go down well.
3. Handling airports
If the airport offers fast track through security and passport control, it can be worth it – getting stuck in a long queue with an unhappy baby or adventurous toddler is torturous. (Though sometimes, these queues can be longer than the regular queues, so it's always worth assessing.) The Stansted FastTrack pass, for example, is as little as £7 per person. Some airports, however, such as Gatwick and Lisbon, have a handy separate family check-in and security queue.
Airlines often call families to board first, though this is not, in fact, always a great idea – it just means more time on the plane. The very best airports have kids' zones free of charge – Girona has a great indoor and outdoor play area by the gates and Gatwick South Terminal has a small soft play.
4. Flying with babies (under-twos)
Under-twos usually fly 'free' on your lap (you pay tax or a nominal fee). British Airways, Ryanair and easyJet allow two pieces of free equipment – a pushchair, car seat or travel cot – plus extra hand luggage for the baby, but other airlines vary. (This same rule usually applies to over-twos, too, but check with specific airlines.)
If you're flying long-haul and require a carrycot, you need to book these in advance (with British Airways, for example, you have to phone up) and they're first come, first served. Some airlines offer a car seat set-up, too, if you're willing to buy the extra seat. The baby can only go in these when the seatbelt sign is off, though. If you're a couple flying with a baby, a smart tactic is to book the aisle and window seat in a row of three, in the hope the middle one won't be taken so you can stretch out (if it is, the passenger will almost certainly want to swap for the aisle or window).
There are a handful of prams that fit into an overhead compartment (eg the Babyzen Yoyo or Bugaboo Butterfly), otherwise you can wheel it up to the tarmac before it goes in the hold. If this is the case, it's worth bringing a carrier in the event that you're waiting (or there is no room in the cabin) and need to be hands-free.
Baby milk and sterilised water are not subject to the 100ml liquids rule. Bring dummies and/or feeding equipment, as sucking helps a baby's ears during take-off and landing, and toys to distract – spinners that stick to windows or tray tables are lightweight.
5. Flying with toddlers
The good news is, from two years of age, they have their own seat and, if you're flying long-haul, their own screen on the back of the chair. The bad news is you're paying (almost) full rate for them.
You also have to entertain them. On recent flights to both the United States and Jamaica, I brought a bag filled with new trinkets and toys – stickers, a sketch pad, cars – all wrapped up in tissue paper (not taped, in case security wanted to look through).
As any parent of a toddler will know, snacks are vital in any and all situations and a plane is no different. I used my child's entire hand luggage allowance for snacks (corn thins, yoghurt pouches, fruit). I also packed a tray of 'emergency' cupcakes that I knew would work should a tantrum happen at an inopportune moment.
A wise family member also slipped me a lollipop (which are usually banned) and it was a saviour when we were landing: after nearly 18 hours of travelling, my daughter could not be talked into doing up her seatbelt by myself, her father, or three cabin crew members. Sometimes, a lollipop is necessary.
In terms of kit, aside from over-ear headphones for any screens, there's not too much you can actually bring on board.
Tread carefully with much-marketed seat extenders as they aren't actually permitted on certain carriers. Always ring ahead to check, and even then, be prepared to have it confiscated, as a colleague learned. A handy trick might be to tuck a blanket into the seat pouch in front, to create a hammock for their legs.
Finally, I wish I'd had a toddler sling for the long border control queue, when my daughter refused to go in her pram or be put down.
6. Onward travel
Book a car well in advance, ideally with a company that has a kiosk in arrivals, or – even better – one that brings a car directly outside the terminal. The faff of a transfer bus between the terminal and a garage is not ideal.
If your child is under two, you may want to bring your own car seat: you can't guarantee they will have stock in busy periods and might end up with an age-inappropriate seat. Some airports have independent car seat hire agencies you can collect on arrival, before hiring the car.
Note that in Britain and most of the continent, children over the age of three can legally ride in the back of a taxi without a car seat, though some countries differ slightly – for example, France follows the rule but only for hailed taxis, not pre-booked ones. So always check ahead.
7. Pack light(er)
You don't need nearly as much as you think, especially if you have access to a washing machine and are travelling somewhere warm. I've also washed many a baby item in a hotel sink. Key items we've brought away include a comforter that smells of home, favourite bedtime books, drawing items and easily transportable toys such as jigsaws or small bags of Duplo.
A nightlight and white noise machine (your phone can work for the latter) are advisable, even if you don't use these at home. A SnoozeShade for the pram is also essential for sun protection and naps out and about.
And bring enough nappies for a few days – I wrongly assumed that in Portugal I would be able bulk-buy them in Aldi, and then spent an afternoon driving round pharmacies. You can pack them into shoes and down the side of the suitcase. Otherwise, you can arrange click and collect for Boots deliveries at airport terminal branches, so they don't take up valuable suitcase space.
It's best to bring Calpol and ibuprofen with you (always have one in a carry-on, too), rather than trying to find it in a pressured situation (and/or in a different language). The same goes for eczema creams or similar.
I also split everyone's clothes between whatever luggage we have, including a spare change of clothes and swimwear for everyone in carry-ons, in case any checked bags go missing. Go a step further and buy AirTags (devices which are trackable through an app on your phone) to put inside suitcases.
And finally, use packing cubes for the entire family – essential to organise everybody's items, and you can shove them straight into the wardrobe when you get there.
8. On arrival
Now to try and make sure everyone is enjoying themselves. As soon as I arrive to any accommodation I check for any dangers (there's only so much you can gather from photos and reviews) – also known as a 'frantic safety assessment.' Consider how many exit points lead directly to the swimming pool of your villa? Are there stone stairs or marble floors? How easily can they climb furniture and open a window? Nobody wants a trip to A&E so it's always worth anticipating any issues.
9. Adopt a new routine and activities
Don't try and impose the routine you follow at home too stringently. I'm a firm believer in letting toddlers acclimatise to the new norm. Playgrounds in Spain and Italy are at their most vibrant from 7.30pm, for example, so let them live a little. They can make it up the next day with a lie-in or an extra nap.
Different types of parents have different viewpoints on kids' clubs. I have used them and I think they're wonderful – especially if your child is at a nursery or pre-school and is used to being sociable. Hotels these days have top-tier ones – recent clubs my daughter has been to have included seashell painting, tie-dying, visits from Sesame Street characters and even accredited staff members. We employed a one-day-on, one-day-off policy, so we felt like we were still having a holiday together (but it meant I also got to finish a book).
10. Eating out
It's also always worth researching ahead of time to see what you need to book when it comes to attractions and restaurants. I've always found lunches out to be the best option with young children, followed by a more chilled approach for dinner. If you're staying in a hotel, it's also the time to enjoy that room service without feeling guilty. Decent hotels will usually have the firm family favourites available, and it means you can do bath and bedtime immediately after their last bite.
One word of advice on hotels, though – make sure you book somewhere with a separate area in which to hang out (a living area or even a terrace) otherwise it'll be lights out when your children go to sleep, unless you want to book a babysitter.
11. Manage expectations
Perhaps the most important tip of all: it's no longer fly-and-flop. It's fly and… parent in different, exciting and (hopefully) sunnier climes. And, if you stay at a hotel, less housework.
About our expert
Jade Conroy is a Publishing Editor for Features and Lifestyle and has contributed to the Telegraph's travel pages for 10 years. Most recently she has taken her almost-four-year-old daughter to Jamaica and the Costa Brava.
This article was first published in July 2024 and has been revised and updated.
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