How Gwyneth Paltrow learnt to take herself less seriously

Telegraph

3 days ago

For the entirety of her career as an actress, entrepreneur, wellness guru and purveyor of $75 candles that smell like her vagin a, the only thing 'chilled' about Gwyneth Paltrow was the kombucha in her fridge. No one who's deliberately been stung by a bee (to help heal scar tissue), embarked on an eight-day goat's milk cleanse (to eradicate parasites) and 'used ozone therapy, rectally' (don't ask) could ever be described as laid back. Health fads? She's had a few. Sure, turning them into a global lifestyle movement may have made her rich – she has a current estimated net worth of $200m – but they haven't made her happy.
Or have they? Recently, a new Gwyneth seems to have emerged from the cold and prickly carapace that was her fortysomething self; a softer, self-deprecating creature who laughs more readily, lives more lustily and seems less like someone you'd hate to be stuck in a lift with for fear she started lecturing you about the health of your vaginal tract.
Paltrow 2.0 seems instead a shining example of the happiness curve – a fiftysomething woman for whom career pressures (Goop is thriving) and family responsibilities (her children Apple, 21, and Moses, 19, have left home) have finally abated, leaving her free to embrace life and enjoy it on her own terms.
Now 52, Paltrow seems more content than she's ever been, happily cooking 'boyfriend breakfasts' for her husband, Brad Falchuk, while the world waits with baited breath for the January 2026 release of Marty Supreme, her first film after a seven-year hiatus. 'We stop trying to be what other people expect us to be,' she said of turning 50. Here are Paltrow's commands for embracing mid-life with grace, humour and just the right amount of goat's milk…
Thou shalt not be bitter
Once upon a time, people expressed the ending of their relationship via the usage of negative, quasi-violent phrases such as 'broke up' or 'split'. In 2014, Paltrow showed us there was another, gentler way. Sure, 'conscious uncoupling' was the definition of loopy LA verbosity, but it caught the imagination, not least because it was backed up by rock-solid proof that you could, in fact, remain friends with your ex, even if said ex is a world-famous rock star who goes on to date someone younger and just as hot as you. In 2023, Paltrow was even photographed walking hand in hand with Martin's then-partner, Dakota Johnston, with whom she grew close during the couple's eight-year relationship (they parted ways in June).
Eleven years after Paltrow and Coldplay's Chris Martin split – sorry, softly untethered themselves from the shackles of their marital moorings – the two are demonstrably still good friends: so much so that Paltrow has even allowed a lovelorn Martin to crash at her house 'for the summer', according to RadarOnline. 'She's looking forward to doing yoga, meditating and generally chilling together like old times,' said a source. Paltrow has also remained on good terms with exes Ben Affleck and Brad Pitt – though after the recent revelation that she once called the latter 'dumber than a sack of s--t', this may not be true for much longer.
Thou shalt be able to laugh at thyself
Never mind offering up your home as a crashpad: such is Paltrow's fondness for her ex that she also offered up her services as an image rehabilitator. How else to explain her agreeing to be the 'spokesperson' for Astronomer, the tech company no one had ever heard of until its (former) CEO was pictured in a clinch with its (former) HR manager on a kisscam at a Coldplay gig? Granted, getting Paltrow to film the two-minute video was a masterclass in how to shift and own the narrative (as they say in PR), but it's unlikely Paltrow would have agreed to participate, had the stunt not left such a bad taste in some Coldplay fans' mouths. Nor, of course, would she have been asked to: the joke only works because she's Martin's ex. The stunt is the latest example of Paltrow's ability to laugh at herself: see also March's Instagram video with Meghan Markle (an attempt to diffuse rumours that the two lifestyle gurus were feuding), and a Father's Day video in which she poked fun at herself by cooking for her infamous 'boyfriend breakfast' topless (no, she didn't face front to flash the camera).
Thou shalt always turn a negative into a positive
One of Paltrow's biggest strengths is her resilience, and while it's easy to be resilient when you have millions in the bank, wealth doesn't always come with a positive mindset. Faced with a challenge, Paltrow tends to buckle up and make the best of it: witness 2023's infamous court case, an eight day trial that started with her being sued for causing a ski accident, and ended with her turning the event into a marketing exercise (every 'court look' she wore was conveniently available to buy on Goop).
In an April interview with Vanity Fair, she detailed how she rejected 'empty nest' syndrome in favour of 'psychological astrologer' Jennifer Freed's idea that she and Falchuk are now 'free birds'. 'Empty nest is so demoralising, but if you say we're free birds and you embody that, then you have this much more energised, optimistic outlook,' she opined.
Thou shalt not spend thy fifties on a restrictive diet
It's nice to be slim, toned and glowing, if that is your bag. But it's also nice not to have the breath of a hyena. Whether this is what led Paltrow in April to announce she'd ditched her super-strict Paleo diet consisting solely of certain meats, vegetables, nuts and fruits, we'll never know. What we do know is that a person who says things like 'I really deepened my connection with food and the whole philosophy around macrobiotics, which is essentially just how they eat in the mountains of Japan' is not likely to be very much fun in the pub. And while we're not about to see Paltrow knocking back multiple pints of Guinness any time soon, she is now open to embracing the occasional treat.
'I'm getting back into eating sourdough bread, cheese – there I said it,' she admitted on her Goop podcast, in the manner of someone who'd just confessed to murder. Whatever your age or circumstance, if you're looking for contentment, swapping bone broth for brie is a pretty solid life choice.