'Handmaid's Tale' star Amanda Brugel looks back at her career: 'I'm appreciative for the hell that I went through'
Award-winning Canadian actor Amanda Brugel has starred in beloved projects, including comedies like Kim's Convenience and Workin' Moms, dramas including Dark Matter, The Handmaid's Tale and Brandon Cronenberg's film Infinity Pool. She was also a judge on Canada's Drag Race.
Brugel spoke to Yahoo Canada about her career. Growing up in Canada with a passion for performance and developing into the brilliant actor she is today.
I am eternally grateful for what that show did for my career, uh, at 40 years old, in which a business has told me from the beginning that I will expire by then and have to go and like take a teaching job or do something else.
But I am thrilled to be able to venture off into other things.
What kind of got you started with like that bug of acting?
I think, um, from when I was reading, kind of like in high school, you had one of those moments.
I was like, oh yeah, this is like where I'm, this is where I'm meant to be.
This feels comfortable.
Well, I mean, I was a dancer at first.
It was a a ballerina and then just loving performing in general.
And um, and then I really wanted to be an actor when I was younger and tried to type out a little uh letters to agents and my parents just wouldn't let me.
And I tried to mail them, and I found them actually hidden a couple of years after my parents told me they sent them.
Um, I found them hidden behind a bookshelf.
And so it was something that I sort of just had to let go when I was younger.
But then in high school, I was in drama, I had completely forgotten about, um, wanting to be an actor, but I was doing a drama credit, and my drama teacher, Ms. Jenkins, just sort of pulled me aside and said, I think you like this.
And I think you're probably really good at it.
And so had me audition for a school play, and the moment I stood on that stage facing outward, it was like empty auditorium, but the moment I stood on that stage, it's very cliche, but I just felt whole and like I belonged and like I It's just such a magical feeling to be bitten by the bug, but it's like, it's, it's accurate.
It truly happened.
But as a parent yourself now, do you think that that moment of like, you having that drive and that desire, but also kind of wanting the best for your kid and in some ways, wanting to protect them from something that, you know, is known as like a very difficult, hard, challenging.
industry to get into.
I love that my parents did that because child actors, I know several of them, and I just don't know if it would have been great for a, a black biracial kid growing up in the 80s to be thrust into on sets.
And so I'm, I'm really thankful for them that they did that.
And I have the same impulse to answer your question for my children, but The one thing my parents did do that when I got into it, when I decided to go into acting for university, and even when I quit acting, I'm jumping forward, but when I quit in my early 30s and then decided to go back into it, my parents encouraged me, and they said, this is your dream, it's not the most stable.
It's Chaotic.
It's probably gonna break your heart, but it's your dream, so go for it.
So I had a bit of both with I want to protect my kids, but I also want to do the same thing my parents did for me, which was to sort of push me towards my dream.
So was Vendetta your first like job, your first your credit to get into?
I think it was.
Yeah, it was.
I was still in university.
And, uh, I was just, uh, just really excited to be able to, uh, start being on film sets.
I went to theater school, I went to York, but just theater, um, film sets are an entirely different beast, and so it was very exciting, and I believe Christopher Walken was in it, if I can remember correctly, and uh we had a scene and he was very nice, and the scene was cut, and I was Wasn't even devastated.
I was just so happy to have had the the chance, and then, yeah, and then it started.
Amazing.
Um, so when you, you know, finally get your first project and you're going into auditioning, I think, you know, after that you had like a pretty impressive like episodes here and there and films here and there and doing all this stuff.
Um, what do you remember of just, you know, really having to kind of ground it out in a sense and just be like, hey, we're going from job to job and auditioning and being on that kind of hamster wheel of like having to go and do things and audition and kind of hope you get the next job.
Awful.
It's hard.
It is devastating and heartbreaking and uh confidence shattering, uh, but if you have a certain temperament, and I truly do think that this business, to be an artist is very specific, like ever all are all artists are different, but to be able to be successful.
In business as an artist, you have to be two very different personalities.
And so luckily for me, I, um, and the type of type of person that when presented a challenge, I don't crumble.
I, I, uh, rally against it, and that's, um, that's not always good, that's stubbornness, that's a slight amount of arrogance which is necessary, that is, um, uh, but it is in me.
And so even though it was really difficult.
Sometimes doing, uh, working 3 jobs.
I worked as a, uh, perfume salesperson at Holtz, and I sold dog and cat perfume, if you don't mind.
And I worked at a as a hostess at a restaurant at Yin Eglington, and then I would do temp temp work like sometimes for offices.
And so you're doing that and then you get a call for an audition and you have to memorize, and then This is now before I started before emails were really a thing, so they would, you would either get a project faxed or they would leave the audition sides out of business, so you would have to go and find them next time.
It was just, it's, uh, mayhem and very difficult, but it really built up a resilience that I really appreciate.
I love the idea that it took me so long to sort of build a career, because that type of resilience is what's kept me going into my 40s, uh, I've seen people have the reverse where they had very big large success at the very beginning, and without that resilience, as soon as they sort of started to hit a wall, it almost broke them.
And so I'm appreciative for the hell that I went through.
I have to ask about Kim's convenience specifically because I think what's interesting about that show, obviously incredibly beloved, the writing was so great and so many people loved it.
But I think it was also one of those shows that um really presented to like an American audience, like, here's a Canadian show and everyone can love it.
It doesn't necessarily have to be.
There's been like, I think a few shows before that have like maybe then that, but I think that really, because when it came out and because our streaming is, and because we're kind of the global scope of of being able to consume stuff is.
That was one of those shows where it was like, oh, everyone around the world can kind of love this story and love these characters in a way that I don't think was really felt that much in Canada.
What was it like to be on a show like that and just to see the kind of response that people had?
Uh, it exactly how you said, it felt like a first, and I, uh, it was, um, It's not like it was in hindsight that we realized, oh, this is sort of a first and we are uh relatable, uh, globally, we really were cognizant of that, um, and it was exciting and and there was a lot of uh pride in it and when you have um Uh, a group, a company, your cast and crew, a part of something that you know is bigger than you, uh, it, it really lifts it.
I, I really think that, um, it built everyone, it made everyone bring their A game because Not only were we doing this for our own individual careers or only individual successes, we realized that we had a story to tell that was, um, impacting people on a global level, which was really exciting and very rare, particularly for a Canadian television show.
And so it was, um, it was thrilling.
It's still my, I still call it summer camp.
It's still one of my favorite jobs that I've ever done.
Um, in terms of like the comedy there, I think for your acting career, you've done so many different things, and I think in a show that has so much comedy and a show that's like really dark, you have such a beautiful way to handle both.
Um, what really appeals to you about being able to do one or the other?
Do you like being able to kind of bounce back between the two genres?
I love being, I have to jump back and forth between the two genres, uh.
Originally, initially, it started as a, uh, a very specific strategy strategy between myself and my agent, in which we were really trying to not have me typecast as a black biracial woman in Canada, there were only so many roles available.
And very quickly I realized I was only being offered just the, the most stereotypical roles that you can imagine in the 90s and then early 2000s.
And so we just decided if I tried to show and then seek different genres, people wouldn't really be able to pin me down.
And so by doing that, I fell in love with all of the genres, but to answer your question, I, it's it's split equal between um like horror, scared, like horror dark horrors dark stuff, um, and comedy, and the thing about those two genres, even though they're very different, they're very similar.
Um, it's very easy to transition from, uh, being scared to, uh, it being funny or vice versa.
And so I like, I like infusing comedy to everything that I do, but I, I love to run and be scared.
Drama is the trickiest for me, I will say.
And even though a lot of people seem to think that it's something that I favor or I do, because those are particularly the projects that I'm known for, it's the most difficult for me.
What do you think makes it so difficult for you?
You know, it's, I think my personality is, uh, it's not really muted.
I'm quite emphatic.
I'm a little like silly and loose, and for drama, technically you have to sort of be still, um, a little more stoic.
You you can be uh you can be crazy, but just, uh, technically for me there's not as much room to improvise and play and um.
And have a lot of fun and take a lot of really crazy swings, uh, and so that's why I feel, I feel a little more constricted with drama and that I have to behave, and I don't like that.
um.
Kim's convenience obviously came to an ending that not a lot of people were happy about the timing and a lot of people were very vocal fans, cast creators, everyone was kind of that that is not exactly how everyone I think wanted it to end.
How do you feel about it now?
Just as equally equally as disappointed as everyone else, you know, I, I think I would not have been as disappointed if we had been warned, if the, if the stories had been wrapped up um with the same amount of care.
And um just um grace that we had been given from seasons to seasons, Paul and Gene and I had been with the those characters for decades.
I went to school with Insert, and he invited me in university 20 years before to the first reading and like a coffee shop on campus to read the play.
And so they had been with those stories for so long.
And so it just felt like the carpet was ripped out from under everyone, and that the characters weren't honored in the way that they should have been.
I have to ask about Ashgrove as well.
Can you tell me just a little bit about kind of the process of being able to kind of craft that story and and kind of craft what we.
Got to see.
It was wild.
I wish that every, uh, project that we were able to, specifically actors were able to go into it like we did with Ashgrove.
Uh, Jeremy Lalonde and Jonas Chernick, which are my co-fellow writers, just had this idea.
It was pre-COVID.
But had this idea to uh do sort of a a film dramatic exercise in which we would improvise a movie, um, structure it out, structure all of the scenes, and be quite um uh detailed with what the story we wanted to tell, but during, um, having the ability to play and have freedom and improvise together, um.
That being said, I did not know that behind my back, they uh were creating a different story, and there was a documentary being made about the fact that I thought I was on one path, making one movie, where in reality they were making a completely separate movie and I was new to all of the decisions and choices.
So all of the reactions are in real time, and I had no idea how the story was going to end, and I did not know that everyone else was in on it except me.
There you go.
I mean, great product.
I mean, I know, but we didn't, he didn't know that it was, I mean, the fact that we, I mean we were uh nominated for an ensemble award for the Canadian um uh Canadian Film Festival, and we were premiered in Glasgow and like the fact that it became this thing was extraordinary, but the um the exercise as an actor to have to truly be present all of the time is exhausting.
It's, but it's so much fun and it really tells you how much um how much as an actor on film sets we sort of, um, are almost lazy, and we sort of block out a scene and know what's going on, and yes, we stretch ourselves, but not to the degree that you would if you have literally no idea what's going to happen next.
So it's um it was a good exercise in reminding myself that I'm, I have to keep learning as an artist.
Dark matter, um, what a Trippy, thrilling, great show and story to be on anything about that project that really kind of appealed to you and said like, yeah, I definitely want to kind of be a part of this.
So, uh, Joel Edgerson and Jennifer Connelly, absolutely, just the two of those names, just to be opposite to uh Them on a screen, I thought would be thrilling and just to be completely honest, I thought if I have a couple scenes with either one of them, I would love it to have it for my reel.
It's something besides Handmaids or Kims, just to update, so I just like given so much of my time to those projects, I really did it thinking it was just going to be a fun.
not exercise, but just a a fun role for me to play, not realizing how much I would fall in love with Chicago with the Chicago crew are the showrunner and creator Blake Crouch and his wife, uh, Jackie Ben Zachary.
They're just, they're the nicest, most collaborative people, and they're so generous and and the story is fantastic, the acting is great, it's just, it's been a, it's, it is currently in my adult life my dream job.
Um, your character, I think in the first season that we saw was so interesting because I think, you know, in the frantic like, what's going on, what kind of box are we in?
I think your character really had this interesting kind of like conviction about like, listen, I'm here, this is what's happening.
You had some like really great lines, some really great kind of deep conversations, um in terms of getting your head around that character and where she sat in kind of this really interesting world, um, anything you thought about or anything that really kind of appealed to you about where she kind of sits in the larger arc.
I, I really think someone yesterday told me she's sort of the, the moral compass or the moral barometer and that usually is, I, and I have no idea why, because I don't really think of myself as that moral of a person.
But um, even though I play different genres, sort of being the moral compass, the, um, the, uh, uh, champion of ethics for, for, for things, it's quite easy to me now.
Um, so I really didn't really have a lot of um deep thinking.
I sort of just played, uh, I loved her.
I thought she had a great sense of humor which I could like latch on to, and also I understood where her heart was.
This season, holy moly.
I now have to, without spoiling too much, get into the science behind it, the science behind Blake Crouch's world specifically around entanglement, and I I'm a, I'm feel like I go I'm going to university, and I have a PhD now in quantum physics, and so, um, that's been really, really exciting and I haven't been able to, being on projects, long running projects for a long time, you don't really research anymore, so I love that I'm getting to research again and really diving into, um, yeah, the quantum physics of it all.
Speaking of long running projects, Handmaid's Tale, which is like 10 years of your life, I think, around there, which is like insanely long period of time, um, and especially for a story that I think what everyone finds so interesting about the show, I think, is that every year it's almost like more relevant for better or worse, for happiness or sadness.
Like I think this season, I've seen up to episode 8.
Um, is like more relevant than ever.
Now that we're kind of wrapping up the end of the show, I'm assuming it's kind of bittersweet in the fact of, you know, it seems as though, you know, you had a great time on the show, but also, does it feel good to be able to kind of like move on a little bit from something that you, you've been doing for so long?
Yes.
Uh, yes, I, I am eternally grateful for what that show did for my career, uh, at 40 years old, in which a business has told me from the beginning that I will expire by then and have to go and like take a teaching job or do something else.
I'm eternally grateful with the character and what the cast, uh, my relationships on the cast have done for me personally, but I am thrilled to be able to venture off into other things.
Again, again, going back to a little bit of that, the idea that you can become Complacent, and not that any one of us were, but being staying with the character for 10 years, you get very comfortable, which is beautiful because it can help with performances, but you also get comfortable in a way as an artist, you need to be challenged, you need to fail, you need to have to go and research quantum physics.
You, you just need to grow, and I felt like I had Uh, grown as much as I possibly could, and I'm thrilled for it, but I'm happy to say goodbye.
Um, with Handmaid's Tale, you know, like you kind of mentioned, for a lot of people that probably really kind of thrusted you into their kind of space and their orbit, you know, some people around the world maybe didn't get to watch like Seed, but they got to watch like, but Handmaid's Tale is like very accessible to them and and top of mind.
Um, when you kind of are able to, to step into that, what was that transition like for you to be like, oh, like this is very much like on a global scale, lots of eyeballs, lots of initial interest to be able to be on a show that kind of has um that kind of impact on people.
Uh, I mean, it's so rare if you think about all of the actors in the world, and then to be thrust into the zeitgeist is just, it's, it's, it's so rare.
It's like a 1% of the 1% of like working successful actors.
Um, I still don't know if I've really wrapped my brain around the impact of it.
Uh, and the only time I am able to is when I go to really remote places around the world, a small towns outside of Hungary where someone, and I'm the only visible minority.
Uh, like in the area, and people will run and want to hug me and talk to me about Rita.
And that the, the human connection with strangers and the stories that have come out of it are the thing that I really started to realize, oh, this is, this is massive.
This is different.
It's one thing to be a fan of a show and like a character, but it's one thing to be able to uh connect with people on such an intimate level so quickly.
That I, I don't know if I will ever have that again, and that is what I will miss.
That is what I, I do still love and did love about being a part of something like that with the conversations that were inspired from our show.
Before I let you go, um, When you kind of look back at your career, is there a project that stands out to you to say like, I'm really happy that I got to do this, whether it be a small role or a big role or something that kind of has stuck with you.
Canada's Drag Race, uh, judge, by far, uh, till the day I die.
It was, uh, I only got to do one season.
And I still love it.
I loved it wholeheartedly.
I love drag queens.
I love the art of drag.
I loved my cast, the experience, it was beautiful, so that one.
How did you feel I have to leave that because I think it was a pretty big deal.
I was heartbroken when you left that working.
It was a very big deal.
It is still a big deal.
To be honest with you, I haven't watched the seasons afterwards because I can't, and I'm not that kind of person.
If I don't get a job or if I, if I lose out to a role, I'll still watch the movie and celebrate the actor, because I think if someone got it.
Let's, that's good for them.
But Drag Race, no, no, can't watch it after my season and too heartbroken still.
I'll still, I'll talk to my fellow judges.
I talked to them a lot, but uh I can't, I can't watch that my chair filled by another.
Have you ever thought about, you know, I think obviously primarily everyone knows you as an actor, but being able to take on roles that do give you kind of more control behind the scenes of of what's happening.
Yes, I really do, and people ask me that all the time and I love it, and I always think I will do that when I'm a big girl, like I'll do that when I'm an adult, realizing fully that I'm 2 years away from 50.
It takes so much time and so much heart.
Uh, for example, my fiance and I right now are in the process of writing, um, a, a show, a pilot, and it's, it's been going on for a year and a half, and we are nowhere near as close as, like, I mean now we have options, but it just feels like it's this long.
The hard road and it's not the hard road that I'm uh I'm sort of hesitant about taking, um, it's just I don't have the time to give everything that I would like to to my own project because I'm usually working.
Possibly when I'm done here, and if there's a bit of a lapse here, I would love to do a short.
I would love to make my own, and I would, I would love to direct.
And I've always, I've always said I don't want to, but now being on enough sets and meeting enough directors, I'm like, oh dear, I could, I think I could do that.
Uh, so yes, I would love to, but the short of it is I, I need time.
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