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Does reading self-help books really improve your life?
I was in junior college when I first picked up The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F***, the global bestseller by US author Mark Manson. With over 20 million copies sold, this self-help book's core message is simple: focus your limited energy on things that are meaningful to you, and let go of the rest. As an anxious, overwhelmed teenager, I found its ideas epiphanic. The book gave me a toolkit to resist social pressures, prioritise my responsibilities, and structure my time more intentionally. When I recently reread it, the ideas felt repetitive, and Manson's once-edgy tone now seemed a little try-hard. I even rolled my eyes at lines I underlined years ago. The market for self-help books is seeing rapid growth in Singapore: 47 per cent of adults are reading this genre, up from 39 per cent of adults in 2018, according to the National Library Board's 2024 National Reading Habits Study. My reread of The Subtle Art made me cringe – but it reminded me just how much timing and context give shape to what we take from any book we read, self-help or otherwise. The right message at the right time can be transformative. However, the growing demand for self-help literature raises more nuanced questions: how do we choose the right book for the right moment in our lives? And once we do, how can we make the most of it? CHOOSING THE RIGHT BOOK When I asked Dr Natalie Games, senior clinical psychologist at Alliance Counselling, about picking the right books, she noted the importance of credibility. She suggested that readers "look for authors with proven expertise in the subject area". For example, an author writing about mental health would preferably have a psychology, psychiatry or counselling background. "Books that cite peer-reviewed research or professional studies tend to be more credible," she added. "A good self-help book should also provide actionable steps. Be cautious if the book is all theory without offering tangible, real-world strategies." Dr Games warned against books with flashy titles that promise quick fixes. "Personal growth takes time and requires effort in multiple areas – mind, body and social environment." Ms Maisie Cheong, founder of relationship and communication consultancy We Humans, noted that while critic or reader reviews offer glimpses into others' experiences, self-help is, as the name implies, deeply personal. "I recommend paying attention not just to five-star ratings, but to why people found a book impactful – or not," she said. "Before buying a self-help book, it's important to pause and self-reflect," echoed Dr Games. She recommended asking yourself the following questions: • Where are you emotionally, mentally, and behaviourally? • Where do you want to go – what areas of your life need improvement? • Why do you want this change – what will motivate you to sustain the effort? Mr Ibrahim Tahir, founder of independent bookshop Wardah Books, encouraged readers to take time to browse books as titles alone are "rarely helpful". Instead, he suggested readers look at the list of contents and skim the first few pages. "I always ask myself: is this a voice I don't mind having in my head for the next few days or weeks?" he said. Peer recommendations can also go a long way. "Your friends understand what you're going through, and that's often more valuable than picking from the bestseller list," he added. HOW DO YOU READ AND APPLY? Mr Tahir suggested that readers carve out an uninterrupted stretch of time to read. "Getting into a flow state helps you understand the logical sequence of an argument being made by an author." He suggested putting your phone on airplane mode or wearing noise-cancelling headphones to block distractions. Note-taking is also crucial to being an active reader. "I always read with a pen in my hand," said Mr Tahir. "For example, if the author signposts that there are three points to the argument, then I will number each point as I read the paragraph to help me follow. I also make annotations." "Reading is like writing backwards," he stressed. "Your brain needs to process what you're reading – so you can retain, synthesise and self-reflect." Dr Games noted that many self-help books come with exercises or activities to aid readers with internalising the material. "Don't skip them! If a book suggests a particular habit or mindset shift, try following the suggested exercises for a few weeks to see how they affect you," she said. While reading is often seen as a solitary activity, Mr Tahir said that "reading is something that is acquired culturally and socially". Talking about a book with others can help synthesise and internalise the ideas you read, just like writing notes: "You think differently – therefore, you act differently." To do this, we can join book clubs, discussion groups, or forums where we can share thoughts and insights, said Dr Games. "Collaborative reflection can lead to deeper understanding and new perspectives on the same material." This communal involvement can extend beyond reading, to putting what you read into practice. A buddy could provide motivation and external accountability, said Ms Cheong: "You can pick someone you really trust and feel safe with. This can include a qualified professional in the industry you are seeking help in, or a close friend who cares, understands your situation, and wants to help." Even with the help of an accountability buddy, readers would still need to put in the work to turn theories from book pages into tangible, behavioural changes. Dr Games suggested the following tips: 1. Be specific: Avoid vague goals like "be more productive". If a book suggests a morning routine, crystallise this into a concrete step, such as "wake up 10 minutes earlier each day for a week". 2. Plan for action: Don't just read – schedule time to apply what you've learned. For instance, if the book recommends gratitude journalling, make it part of your morning routine. 3. Start small, build momentum: Behaviour change takes time. If a book suggests daily meditation, begin with five minutes a day and slowly increase the duration. Celebrate small wins to stay motivated. 4. Stay consistent: Self-help strategies tend to be most effective when practised regularly. Monitor your progress and find ways to integrate new behaviours into existing routines, so it feels more natural. TOO MUCH SELF-HELP? Self-help books can offer so many tips and techniques that it becomes overwhelming to figure out where to start. Dr Games suggests narrowing down a book's key takeaways by starting with the two to three strategies which resonate most with you. "It's better to master one concept than to spread yourself too thin," she said. Some of Ms Cheong's clients have tried to consume too many self-help books – to their detriment. "It can become avoidance disguised as productivity", she warned, especially when such individuals are not practically doing anything about the problem they're reading up on. At the same time, be mindful to not over-emphasise the "self" in "self-help". "If you're drowning, you can't self-help your way out," said Mr Tahir. While the advice can be helpful, self-help books are not a substitute for real-life community and support systems. And sometimes, the most meaningful growth does not come from reading more advice at all. Mr Tahir suggests widening your reading palette beyond instructional texts. Some nuances, he said, are better fleshed out in fiction – like the emotional complexities of grief.
