'Sex And The City's' Gay Male Showrunners Would Ask The Cast Seriously Intimate Questions About Sex Because They Didn't Know What Women Enjoy, And This Is Why We Need Women In Writers Rooms
This article includes graphic descriptions of sex acts.
Earlier this year, Sex and the City star Kristin Davis launched a brand new podcast called Are You A Charlotte?, a tribute to her iconic SATC character Charlotte York. On the show, Kristin looks back at her time on the hit HBO series — which premiered in 1998 and ran until 2004 — and has wasted no time in sharing some seriously interesting secrets.
In the very first episode, Kristin revealed that the role of Charlotte was very nearly reduced to a 'recurring character,' and the only reason it wasn't is because she kept conveniently 'forgetting' to sign an updated contract.
She has also recalled begging Sex and the City's costume designer not to make her wear fur on the show, and detailed her feet being so swollen from shooting in heels all week that she had a special pair of tennis shoes that were one size too big to wear on weekends.
Kristin also lifted the lid on the 'one and only time' that she and her castmates were allowed to ad-lib during filming, and the wholesome reason why. The scene in question happened during the show's second-ever episode, 'Model Behaviour,' where Carrie, played by Sarah Jessica Parker, explores the concept of a 'modelizer' — a man who will only have sex with models.
In the episode, Carrie and Charlotte are joined by Samantha Jones and Miranda Hobbes, played by Kim Cattrall and Cynthia Nixon, respectively, and as they enjoy a cozy evening together, the four women discuss their physical insecurities.
Charlotte says that she is most insecure about her thighs, Miranda her chin, and Carrie her nose. Meanwhile, ever-confident Samantha refuses to say anything negative about herself because she is happy with how she looks.
On her podcast, Kristin revealed that this scene was not scripted because the show's writers did not want to predict what each woman's insecurity would, or should, be.
She explained: 'It's the one and only time that we were told we could ad-lib. After that, it never happened again; it was very, very frowned upon after this. But it was the sweetest reason why!'
'In this particular scene, we're talking about models and men who only date women who are models,' Kristin continued. 'And, you know, how we feel about that. Does it make us feel less than? I think that's something Carrie asks us, and then we were each supposed to say what we felt insecure about.'
'The writers didn't want to write that on paper,' she went on. 'That was very sweet of them not to want to write what they thought we would feel self-conscious about. To let us ad-lib what we felt self-conscious about, which was really kind.'
And, as it happens, this isn't exactly the only time that Sex and the City's writers turned to the cast when it came to scripting scenes. On Thursday's episode of the pod, special guest Cynthia revealed that Kristin's anecdote had reminded her of a much more NSFW example of the male showrunners looking to the four leading ladies for help when writing the show.
Instagram @iamkristindavis / Via instagram.com
'You were talking about the time when they asked us what was the body part that we felt insecure about, or what we'd like to change, or whatever,' Cynthia began. 'There were however many episodes before we had any female writers, we just had Darren [Star], and then we had Darren and Michael Patrick [King].'
At this point, Kristin interjected to say that she thought there was a female writer based in Los Angeles who worked on the show, but they never met.
'What I remember is,' Cynthia continued. 'There was, I don't remember what episode it is, but it's pretty early, where we were talking about blowjobs, and who likes them and who doesn't like them. And I remember they came and interviewed us all, remember this?'
Dimitrios Kambouris / WireImage
While she remembered the scene, Kristin did not recall the interviews, and couldn't hide her shock at what Cynthia was saying.
'They were, you know, they were gay men,' Cynthia explained. 'So they have their own opinions about blowjobs, right? And their own relationship to it — they were really kind of a little sheepish.'
Kristin then clarified: 'When you say 'they,' do you mean Darren and Michael?' to which Cynthia confirmed: 'Darren and Michael. I remember Michael specifically; they might have come together. I think they came together and asked.'
'They wanted to know, I mean, the baseline question is: 'Women enjoy blowjobs? Is it just something you just do, you know, to get along?'' Cynthia continued. 'So they went and then they put different things that people said, not necessarily in the mouths of the person who had said it. I think every once in a while, before we had female writers that were in New York, it was like: 'We have women here, we really should ask them because we actually don't know.''
Jamie Mccarthy / WireImage
Kristin continued to express her shock at how she'd managed to completely forget that this had happened, but she did say that she was 'so glad' that Darren and Michael had asked the cast instead of writing about something they didn't know about it.
If you're wondering, the blowjob scene in question appears to be from Season 1, Episode 7, 'The Monogamists,' which aired in July 1998. In the episode, Charlotte has met somebody who she thinks is the perfect guy until they enter a so-called 'blowjob tug of war' where he wants her to perform oral sex, but she isn't keen. She then discusses the situation with the other three women over lunch, saying: 'The truth is, I hate doing it.'
HBO / Via youtube.com
'Honey, you can't be serious,' Samantha replies, and a shocked Miranda asks: 'Are you telling us that you never perform this act?'
'I don't like putting it in my mouth, I have a very sensitive gag reflex and it makes me want to puke,' Charlotte explains. 'It's not like I haven't tried; I've practiced on a banana, I pretended it was a popsicle, but I just don't like it.'
The others then give their opinions, with Miranda saying: 'Personally, I'm loving it up to the point where the guy wants me to swallow.' Samantha adds: 'Some men just take it so personally if you don't,' to which Miranda exclaims: 'Some guys don't give you a choice!'
HBO / Via youtube.com
Carrie, meanwhile, admits: 'It's not my favorite thing on the menu, but I'll order it from time to time… And with the right guy, it can be nice.'
'Plus, the sense of power is such a turn-on,' Samantha says. 'Maybe you're on your knees, but you've got them by the balls.'
And when Carrie tells Charlotte not to do it if she doesn't want to, Miranda asks: 'But if you don't go down on him, how can you expect him to go down on you?'
At this point, Charlotte says that she doesn't, and both Samantha and Miranda agree that they 'only give head to get head' as they tell her to 'forget it.'
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When her cat slips out the door, a scruffy, muscly gardener picks her up before she can escape onto the street. And what are the odds? This charming landscaper named Adam (Logan Marshall-Dean), who's wearing a rugged band tee, is here to consult Carrie on her backyard renovation. Adam asks her about her ultimate vision for the space, but she's unsure. Not knowing is a good thing, Adam says, 'Because that means what's meant to be will show up.' Whether he's conscious of it or not, he's also referring to himself. Carrie might've been complacent with her arrangement with Aidan, but now that things are changing, she might just be open to something new. Maybe something with Adam. ELLE Collective is a new community of fashion, beauty and culture lovers. For access to exclusive content, events, inspiring advice from our Editors and industry experts, as well the opportunity to meet designers, thought-leaders and stylists, become a member today HERE. Erica Gonzales is the Deputy Editor, Culture at where she oversees coverage on TV, movies, music, books, and more. She was previously an editor at There is a 75 percent chance she's listening to Lorde right now.
